It was always easier to believe someone you hated with every fibre of your being was some sort of machine. A robot.
It was easier to not give them an identity, to not acknowledge that there’s a chance they can feel too. It was easier to view them as a monster. And Asa never wanted to see Hunter as anything more than the monster that he was.
“I want to hate you,” Asa told him suddenly, causing Hunter’s eyes to snap towards him. “I really want to.”
“You should,” Hunter replied matter-of-factly, as if that was the most obvious response.
Silence fell among them, but the air was filled with words. And they kept piling atop one another until the atmosphere in the kitchen started to suffocate Asa. He knew he needed to get out of there. Fast.
He grabbed his drink and was about to turn around when Hunter’s voice made him stop in his tracks.
“I lied to you the other day.”
“When?” Asa asked, feeling bitter as old memories began to resurface. “When you told me that I don't belong and never will?”
Hunter’s eyes broke contact with Asa’s, and he stared at the refrigerator magnets on the opposite end of the kitchen.
“When you confronted me at the locker,” he said. “And asked me about Isla. I lied then.”
Asa’s anger simmered down as the confusion took over. “Isla?”
“I didn’t drop her off at your place because I wanted to hit you where it hurt.” Hunter’s eyes remained fixed on the magnets, not wavering nor twitching. “I was the first one to leave the beach that night; I couldn't stay any longer. But I noticed that she was completely wasted and some of the guys were staring meaningfully at her.”
The silence that followed was deafening, but Asa remained rooted to his spot, knowing that there was more that Hunter wanted to say.
“I know I’ve done...” Hunter paused again, as if looking for the right term, “...things. Horrible things. Crossed so many lines. But I don't know, I couldn’t leave her there knowing that she was in no state to give consent and could possibly be taken advantage of. It was only after one of the guys there tried making a move on her that I grabbed her and drove to your place. I know I’ve done things I can’t even digest anymore, but I’d like to think I haven’t sunk so low that I could just turn a blind eye to what was happening.”
Asa didn’t really know what to think. Or say. Or if he should even say anything.
“Why drive her to my place?” he finally asked, picking the one question he knew wouldn’t lead to any bursts of anger.
“Got the address from Hayden. I don’t know. Didn’t want to drop her off at hers in case she got into trouble with her folks.”
Asa was supposed to hate him. Hunter was this big, bad monster in his head, and he wanted the image to remain that way. But with each minute that passed, Asa’s carefully constructed picture of Hunter Donoghue was coming undone.
“Thanks, then,” he muttered, looking at the can in his hand. “For looking out for her.” And Asa truly meant it, right from the depths of his heart that still loved Isla. He was about to turn away yet again when Hunter’s voice stopped him.
“And, Asa?”
“Yeah?” he asked with nonchalance, hoping his voice won’t reveal how insane he found all this.
“I lied about the other thing too,” Hunter said, jumping down from the countertop and dusting off nonexistent dirt from his shoulder.
“What other thing?” Asa asked, wondering what other curve ball Hunter was going to send his way.
“About you not belonging,” he said quietly. “You’ve always belonged.” And then Hunter was walking past Asa, muttering under his breath, “It was me who never did.”
•••
Asa stood on the second floor of the house, leaning on the banisters as he watched the makeshift dance floor below with thought after thought racing through his head. Then he pushed everything that had just taken place in the kitchen to the furthest corner of his mind, not wanting to drain himself mentally right now. Sighing to himself, he shook his head and was about to head back down when he caught a glimpse of a familiar body.
Carmen was there, right below him, dancing without a care in the world and a giddy smile on her face.
The view twisted his heart painfully. He wanted to keep her happy like that, always. But he knew that once tonight was over and come morning, Carmen’s shoulders were going to be weighed down by burdens he couldn’t even start to comprehend.
“You know,” Carson’s voice came from beside him as he fell into step next to Asa and looked down at the dancing bodies as well. “I didn’t get it at first, what you saw in the girl. I mean, she’s not exactly the prettiest face in school, is she? But tonight, with those figure-hugging clothes she’s got on—”
“Finish that sentence, and I will break your jaw,” Asa said in a deathly quiet voice, no mistaking the promise in his words. For a fleeting second, he wished he had just let Hunter deal with Carson.
“It’s not like it’s a crime to use my eyes, is it?” Carson smirked, taking a gulp from the glass bottle in his hand.
“Keep talking. I’d love a reason to punch that smirk off your face,” Asa muttered, his gaze
