“Everything all right?” she asks.
“You really think I can find someone?”
“Of course I do! I still think you should try a blind date with one of Josh’s friends. You remember the guy I told you about? His name is—”
“The same guy you told me about on New Year’s?” I interrupt.
“Yes.”
“That was two years ago,” I inform her. “He hasn’t been able to find anyone in two years?”
“Don’t be so judgy. You haven’t found anyone either.”
“Maybe I have,” I murmur.
“What? Who?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure I want to say.”
“Why?” she asks suspiciously. “He’s not a felon, is he? I know you know some shady characters—”
I burst out laughing. “Some of the stuff I’ve done, I should be considered a felon. No, nothing like that. I just don’t know if I should try for a relationship right now.”
“Why not? Now is the perfect time!”
“Maybe because I don’t know how much longer I have,” I say quietly.
“I’ve been begging you to switch to another safer profession for years now. Why are you worried? What’s going on?”
“I just need to know if having a relationship for a few days is worthwhile. Or maybe I should just not pursue it because it’s not fair to him if I end up dying a few days later.”
“Sophia, you’re scaring me. Maybe just focus on whatever is going on that has you thinking you’re going to die. Unless… You don’t have cancer, do you?”
“Not that I know of.”
“That’s not exactly reassuring!”
“I don’t have cancer.”
"Good. Then get things settled, so your life isn't in danger, and then you haul your little ass over to that guy, shake it, do what you got to do, but you nail him."
“Ines!”
“I didn’t mean sex,” she protests. “Well, yes, I did, but go for it. Seriously. Once it’s safe. You only have one life. Take a chance and try to find love. You’ll be happier for it.”
“And if it isn’t love?”
“You mean it could be lust?”
I shrug even though she can’t see me.
“Lust isn’t so terrible of a thing, and maybe lust can lead to love. Who knows? Stranger things have happened like Jason volunteering to do dishes without having to be asked.”
“Does he want something?” I ask dryly.
Ines laughs. “I asked him what he wanted, and he was not amused. So far, anyway, it does seem like he didn’t have nefarious, ulterior motives for doing the dishes.”
“Good. No eye rolling?”
“Oh, he did when I asked the question, but I think I can let that slip.”
I laugh and shake my head. “Yes, pick and choose your battles.”
“You too. Fight for your life and fight for your heart, okay?”
“Okay.”
I hang up, and I sigh. My life is in danger. Wouldn't be the first time, but now I have to be on edge constantly, considering the threat isn't obvious like it normally is. The general is going to look into who took the hit out on me, and I'm going to do the same. I have enemies, yes, but I have allies too, more than just the general, and it's time I call in a few favors. What's the point of collecting the favors if you don't ever cash in?
Which reminds me of the stockpile of cash I have for a rainy day. What if that rainy day never comes because I’m in a pine box?
Damn it. And right when I thought I might be ready to think about taking a chance with a guy too. I haven’t thought about that in so very long.
Oh well. Brain before heart. I have to think and not feel. If I feel, I’ll die. No fear, no lust, no nothing. Just smart calculations to stay alive and eliminate the threat.
Yes. That’s what I need to do. Someone wants me dead.
I’ll just kill them first.
9
Tox
When I enter my office the next morning, I shake my head and turn around and head right back out again. I need more information on Sophia Clyde.
Why? Why not? I want to know everything about her. The more I learn, the better I can keep her safe, right?
Or maybe I’m just a stalker. I don’t know at this point. I don’t want her to die, and she won’t by my hand, but I also need to see if I can learn who else that silver-haired man might hire in my place.
I try to go back to the people who directed me toward her house. I had to ask around a lot of people, and it was actually our waitress at the restaurant who pointed me in the direction of her place. The waitress had seen Sophia head that way many times because the waitress lives on that strip near that area.
So, basically, dumb luck, and I can’t even find some of the other people who recognized her name when I mentioned her.
Some detective I am.
Finally, I find myself walking in front of a library, and I head inside. The woman working behind the counter is more than happy to help me. She sets me up at one of the computers, and I start to open a browser when I realize she's still hovering nearby.
“You know how to use the computer?” she asks.
“Yes,” I say flatly. “My mom has a computer on Kuria.”
“Oh, she does? I didn’t realize. I, ah, very well then. If you need any help with anything else, just let me know. I’ll be happy to help.”
She smiles, waves, awkwardly bends over slightly as if she’s in pain, and then she rushes away.
Strange.
I told the woman the truth. My mom does have a computer, but it's not like this one. She's told me about the internet, though, and I know it's a giant, open, air cloud of knowledge that you can harness at your fingertips. We have something similar to it in our chips, but unfortunately, our chips
