When he leaned into me and gave me a peck on the cheek, I automatically flinched and pulled back – he’d chosen my left cheek, dangerously close to my birthmark…
His eyes registered puzzlement, but he quickly recovered. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I shook my head, my eyes welling with moisture, and averted my gaze so he wouldn’t see the tears.
“It’s not your fault,” I managed as I stepped away. “Thanks for a great night, Jared. I’ll never forget it.”
“Lacey…”
He reached for me, but I slipped from him and made for the driveway before I burst into tears, my chest heaving as I ran toward the gate, away from the most amazing man I’d ever met – a man who’d done nothing more than offer a chaste kiss, setting off a chain reaction of conflicting emotions so powerful they’d driven me away in a blind panic.
Chapter 17
My roommates were crushed the following morning when I refused to discuss my date other than to tell them we’d gone sailing. They probed, especially Sarah, but when it became obvious I wasn’t going to volunteer anything more, they lost interest and resumed dressing for school. When Kate and Sarah were gone, I sat down across from Serena, needing to talk to someone and knowing she was the most discreet of the three.
“You swear you’ll keep this secret?” I asked.
“Of course. What’s wrong, Lacey? What happened?”
I leaned back. “It was amazing. Completely, totally amazing. We drove to the coast, he had a boat waiting with all my favorite food, and we sailed around the bay. It was like something out of a dream.”
Her brow furrowed. “And?”
“Then we drove back to Ridley. It was really late by the time we got here.” I paused, trying to figure out how to describe what had happened next. “He parked by the driveway, and we got out of the car, and then…he kissed me.”
Serena blinked, choosing her words. “Jared Richards kissed you…and that’s a problem?”
I shook my head. “It’s not that. It’s how I reacted. I…I just freaked out and ran away.”
She took a deep breath, clearly trying to understand. “What do you mean, freaked out?”
“It’s like my mind went into flight-or-fight mode. And I chose flight.”
“But why? I mean, that’s every girl’s fantasy – a dream date with Jared, ending with a kiss. Is his breath foul – rotting teeth or something? Did he try to stick his tongue down your throat? What went wrong?”
I exhaled loudly and blinked away tears. “I’m seriously messed up, Serena.”
She waited wordlessly until I continued.
I cleared my throat and tried to explain. “It wasn’t anything like that. It was a kiss on the cheek. But it just triggered something in me, and the next thing I knew, I was running.” I looked at her and then pulled my hair back from the side of my neck. “There’s this, for starters.”
I watched her face for the revulsion I was sure would follow, but her expression didn’t change except her eyes appeared a little surprised. “Lacey…a lot of people have birthmarks. I have one on my shoulder.”
“A shoulder is different.” Great, now I sound heartless. “I mean…he could have anyone. You should have seen that concert. Any woman there would have jumped at the chance. I can’t compete with all that.”
“It doesn’t look like you have to. He took you out. Obviously he likes being with you. Obviously, too, you like being with him. So why run?”
“I…I was afraid he’d be grossed out that there’s something wrong with me. He kissed me on that side. I didn’t want him to see…to see I’m a freak.”
A trace of a smile curled her lips. “Lacey, I don’t know how to say this any other way. You’re beautiful. Mark or no mark.” She shook her head. “If it’s such an issue for you, can’t you have some kind of, I don’t know, laser something?”
“That would cost money.”
She looked down at her hands for a moment, as if choosing her words. “Truthfully, I wouldn’t have even noticed. We’ve been sleeping in the same room for a week, and I hadn’t. Is it possible you might be building this up into a bigger deal than it is?”
“I look like I lost a game of paintball.”
Serena rolled her eyes, and when she spoke again, she sounded exasperated. “You do know that nobody’s perfect, right? Everybody’s got things they don’t like about themselves.”
“This isn’t about perfection,” I said, sounding argumentative now and hating my tone, but unable to stop myself. It’s about not being good enough.
She thought for a moment. “Let me ask you a question. If Jared was the same as he is, only he had a similar birthmark, would you be all like, ‘no way’?”
I frowned. “But he is perfect. That’s the problem. I’m no good at hypotheticals.”
“Just play along. If he did have a birthmark, which he covered with his hair like you do – would he still be the hottest guy on the planet, or crossed off your list?”
I dropped my gaze, the truth of Serena’s question slamming home. “I’m a total idiot, aren’t I?”
Serena stood and considered me. “Maybe not total. I mean, except for the running away when Jared kissed you part.” She smiled. “I’m not making light of this or your feelings, Lacey, but as your friend, I’m telling you that what might seem like the end of the world is barely a road bump. Seriously. The test is just to reverse it, which we just did. So I’d leave the birthmark thing in your chest of secret fears, because it’s not real. Besides, even if it was, would you want some dude who was that shallow? I wouldn’t.” She
