I let that idea roll around in my head, opening old wounds I swore I had bandaged over the day I left. What was the worst that could happen? I’d have to pack up and leave again if someone else did me wrong? I rolled my eyes, letting out a frustrated breath.
Me: Fine. Next time I see you, you can explain.
Liam: You won’t regret it.
I really hoped I wouldn’t.
Nine
I could not win with her. It wasn’t her fault, nor did I think that it was mine. Maybe the universe didn’t want us around each other. I had to explain to her that I didn’t want to sleep with her; I just wanted to keep her from my friends so they wouldn’t sleep with her. If I was being completely honest, I wouldn’t have said no, but I was keeping that to myself. I just needed to explain that I had some sort of weird claim on her, where I didn’t want a girlfriend, but I wanted to be around her. Yeah, she would completely understand that.
When my mom got sick, she insisted on talking to me about this shit. She knew how my dad was. She knew what I would learn if I looked up to him for advice. One day, toward the end, she told me I would meet a girl who would make everything else background noise. I always listened, but I never thought anyone would come close to what she described. The girls around here, hell, everyone around here, was only interested in what you could give them. The girls thought I would make it pro; they thought I could give them an extravagant lifestyle. They liked the fact that I played college baseball. None of them liked me. When you’d been in my position, rich boy whose parents gave him everything with every potential to play pro-baseball, you got a lot of people who frankly did not give a shit about you. I’d been on dates and not one girl asked me where I was from, what my favorite color was, my dreams, etc. Granted, I’d never asked them either. There was something about the way people presented themselves that made you realize they didn’t give a shit about you. It had always been mutual.
But now it was different. I met this girl who pretended she hated me, but she was more real than what I’d been around. I wanted her as a friend, because I would be dumb as hell to ask anything more of her. I would fuck it up, and I couldn’t lose someone like that.
I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a beer, and walked over to where Tyler was. He was standing beside a bunch of guys who used to be my teammates. He never messed with girls. Since I’d known him, he was only had one serious relationship. If he wasn’t talking about finding the one, he was talking about ball.
Brandon strolled up to us, grinning like an idiot. “Saw you go upstairs with Red.”
“Yeah, we watched TV. She had to leave, though,” I said. I grabbed the nearest drink, chugging it as fast as I could. Brandon laughed, handing me another.
“Whatever you need to say, man. We’re only glad you’re back,” Brandon said. A chorus of nodding was present in the circle. I looked from my left to my right, studying all these guys I’d let down. “When are you going to start practicing again?”
I shook my head, taking a sip of the beer he handed me. “I’m just focusing on school right now.”
“Oh, shit. Does Coach know?” Brandon asked. His eyes went wide.
“Yeah” I said nonchalantly.
“Whatever you need to do. We’ve never seen you like this before,” Tyler piped in. They all knew something had been off. When I got hurt last year in the wreck and was told I could never pitch again, my life changed. My priorities had to be realigned. They saw this, but they gave me hell about coming back to play any position.
Someone slammed into my back, draping their arms around me. I clenched my fist, annoyed by whatever prank this was. I turned, finding a very drunk Josie dangling on me. I took her hands, dropping them to her side, and she frowned.
“Why the hell did you need my roommate’s number?” She was so wasted she barely got the question out.
“I told you. I’m in the same class as she is. I had a question,” I said.
She eyed me. “I call bullshit. I saw you with her at the dorms.”
“I don’t care what you thought you saw,” I said, laughing at her. I didn’t know how she took herself seriously.
“Oh, you should,” she slurred, laughing at me. It took everything in her to lean on the counter to insult me.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“She’s my friend…you don’t think I can mess that up for you? Think again,” she teased.
“You’re drunk off your ass. I heard you tell her you would leave when she left. You promised you would take care of her tonight. You can’t even take care of yourself. You think you’re her friend? You think you’re a friend to anyone? Get the fuck away from me. I’m tired of turning you down.”
It was then that I realized the music had turned off and I was yelling. Everyone was staring at us; some were wide-eyed, others were laughing at us.
She nodded. “You’ll regret that.”
Her friend Sara came up to her, glaring at me as she helped her walk away. I didn’t care about her, that was obvious, but I did know what she was capable of. The girls who hung out here were relentless. If she told them she hated Autumn, they’d destroy her.
“Do you think that was necessary, man? You just fucked all of us,” Brandon said, chuckling. I was glad someone found it amusing.
“What’s going on with this Autumn girl?” Tyler asked, eyeing me.
