“I can’t wait to hear everything,” I said before walking to the dorm. But my mind was a thousand miles away, bouncing between my past and this gray-eyed boy who thought he needed me.
Fifteen
I have regretted many things in my life, one being the time I told Autumn I would leave her alone if she tutored me. She wanted me. I could tell Saturday night. Her wall was crumbling. For whatever reason, she was letting me in.
Outside, the rain is thick and pounding the roof above me. I left campus immediately after English, completely over the shit today. I didn’t care about missing classes occasionally. The truth was I was smarter than most people thought. Sure, I stayed drunk the entire first semester of my freshman year, but that didn’t make me dumb. I got those days out of my system. Autumn didn’t know that though. She didn’t need to know I could have a perfect 4.0 if I tried; she would stop tutoring me immediately.
The rain gave me an idea. Before I could talk myself out of it, my fingers were sweeping across my screen.
Me: Let’s move our session indoor today
Autumn: Good idea. Inside the coffee shop?
I chuckled, knowing that was the last place I wanted to be with her right now.
Me: My place.
Autumn: It’s too loud
Me: It’s just me.
There was a long pause before she started typing again. I could almost feel the wheels turning in her head from miles away. If she agreed, I would know I had some sort of an effect on her.
Autumn: Fine.
Twenty minutes later I was pacing in the living room, waiting. When I heard a car pull up, I peeked outside, finding a Nissan Altima in the driveway. I sat on the couch, turned on the TV, and pretended like I hadn’t been pacing like a caged animal.
There was a knock at the door. “Come in!” I yelled.
Autumn breezed through the entry, her mind a million miles from here. Her hair was slicked back in a high ponytail, and she was dressed in those tight stretchy pants girls wear and a plain shirt. I briefly wondered if she worked out or if she hated wearing real clothes like all the other girls on campus. That thought made me frown; not under any circumstances should this girl be compared to another. She slammed her notebook onto the table. Turning to face me, she smiled before looking beyond me.
“What are you doing?” she asked, eyeing me.
“Just watching TV, waiting for you.”
Her right brow cocked. “Where’s your paper?”
“Upstairs.”
“Why?” Her face scrunched with confusion. She had the most expressive face on the planet, and I loved watching it.
“What if someone comes in? I don’t want to be interrupted,” I said. I loved toying with her.
“I thought we were studying.” Her tone was full of questions as she stared at me. I couldn’t help that my mouth curved into a grin. I moved from the couch, stepping near her. I was so close I heard her breathing hitch.
“Unless you had something else on your mind.”
She shook her head, determined. “No, definitely not.”
With a cocky grin, I walked up the stairs. I turned, finding her standing in the same place I left her. Her cheeks were pooled with heat, and I couldn’t decide if she was truly the shy type or if I’d influenced her embarrassment. Surely, after Saturday, I had some effect.
“What are you waiting for?” I asked. She snapped out of her thoughts and followed me up to my bedroom.
“Where’s your paper?” she asked once we were inside my room.
I grabbed the two sheets off the top of the desk and handed them to her anxiously. I’d turned in dozens of papers to teachers over the years, but never to a girl like this. A girl who was so passionate about interpretation of stories. A part of me was terrified to let her pick apart my brain.
She sat on the bed; her brow furrowed. Trying to take my mind off my nerves, I studied her. You could learn a lot about a person if you watched them without them knowing. For instance, she dragged her bottom lip through her teeth when she was thinking. Her brows ranged from soft to serious, depending on the tone of the paragraph. She let a small laugh escape as she handed them back to me.
“I have to admit, I didn’t think you were serious about that topic,” she said.
“But?” My heart was trying to fight its way out of my body.
“It’s actually good. Damn good. You were right about before. Everyone will write about greed and they’ll write about the love they think was involved…nobody will write about how harmful indecisive people can be to society,” she said. Her laughter is back. “The comparisons were great, by the way.”
“Maybe the professor will see it that way,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. I dropped the papers on the table, taking a seat next to her.
“She doesn’t have a personality if she doesn’t love it. You took your strengths and used them for the better. Good job.”
“What are my strengths?”
“Your humor,” she said, not elaborating.
“Is that all?” I asked, and she gave me a pointed look.
“I’m afraid to give you too many compliments. Your head may explode.”
I shook my head, disagreeing with her. “There’s something about you that brings me back down to earth.”
“Maybe because I’m a smartass? My dad always told me I was one,” she said, trying to force a smile. I wanted to hunt her dad down and beat his ass for that. In that moment, I knew he was the reason for her wall.
“Maybe so,” I clipped.
We both laughed for a short second. Tension filled the air again. There was really no need for her to stay after reading my paper, but I hoped she wouldn’t see it like that. Hell,
