My blood ran cold. Ten thousand dollars was gone. I grabbed a Benjamin, shoving the safe back under my bed. It was my own stupidity. I should have put it all in the bank, but I was scared. I never wanted a paper trail. What did it matter now? My dad knew where I was. They all knew everything. I was no longer the reinvented Autumn Miller. I was the girl from the trailer park, running from demons she would never escape.
Still, I could be mad, and no one could tell me any different. Screaming, I faced Josie’s side of the room.
“YOU RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE!” I screamed to no one.
I grabbed the pretty pink comforter on her bed, ripping it to shreds and throwing it on the floor. One by one, I knocked the pictures off her desk. I smashed perfume. I dumped out her makeup, but none of it stopped the tears.
Sobbing, I slid down to the floor. I had never felt completely alone. I wanted nothing more than Liam to bust through the door and comfort me, but there I sat, bawling, and wondering, if he caused this all, why was he even worth it?
I had two options. I could let Autumn go or I could fight. I also had two problems. I could never let her go, and the second option might involve a felony. I couldn’t get the image of her out of my head today. She walked away. She wouldn’t talk. Her wall was back up, but for good reason.
I lifted the whiskey bottle to my mouth, spilling half of it down my shirt. I laughed to no one in particular. There were twenty people around me, but I felt alone. Tyler came bursting through the door, Gabby in tow, and I rolled my eyes so hard they could have come out of the sockets.
“The fucking cavalry is here to save me.”
“Gabby meet the real Liam,” Tyler said, disgust written all over his face.
“What did you say to me?” I asked. Standing up, I stumbled.
“You heard me. Every time you go through something, you act like a toddler. You’re getting drunk instead of going after Autumn.”
“I’ve gone after her! She doesn’t want me!”
“She’s scared you had something to do with her dad finding her, Liam. You know she has trust issues. Figure out what happened, and we can fix this,” Gabby said.
“She’s already made up her mind.” I stressed every word through my hazy mind.
“Get off your drunk ass, sober up, and change her mind. I swear to God you do this every time something goes wrong. You quit baseball, you drink and party, Autumn, the wreck…”
I held my finger up, stepping closer to him. “If you have something to say to me, now would be a good time.”
“I just did,” he said, taking another step toward me. “They weren’t just your friends, dude. You quit on everyone.”
“Tyler,” Gabby warned him.
“Were you in the fucking truck with them for hours while they were dead?”
“You can’t keep using these things as an excuse to fall back into your toxic behavior.”
“I’ll be fine. I’m just going to do this for a while, and if anyone has a problem with that…” I said, looking around the room. My eyes landed on Tyler.
His jaw was clenched. “I do.”
My fist connected with his face before he could say another word. Gabby stepped between us, pushing him out of the way. “You’re both out of line! Liam, go upstairs and sober the hell up! Tyler, come with me!”
I had a pang of instant regret as I looked at Tyler’s bloody nose. I shook my fist, knowing I would regret it in the morning. Using the wall to hold me up I took the stairs slowly, stumbling until I got to my bed.
I hated being here. It was the most disgusting reminder of the girl who used to stay with me most nights. I grabbed her pillow, hugging it tight. I kept fucking up. I kept fucking up everything.
I grabbed my phone and texted Autumn, telling her I loved her, and I swore I did not do it. I fell asleep with no response.
Thirty-Three
I locked the door behind me, closing the bookstore alone for the first time. I tied my black parka around me, shielding myself from the cool breeze that blew through the campus. My stomach was in knots and I tried to chalk it up to finals next week, but I could only lie to so many people. I knew the truth. I was living my worst nightmare.
I walked the lit path to the dorm, shivering as I approached the spot without trees and buildings to shield the cold air.
“Autumn!”
I turned finding Gabby running toward me. Out of breath, she tried to calm down before talking to me.
“Do you mind if we take this to my room? I’m freezing.”
“Yeah, of course.” She nodded, following behind me.
Again, I was greeted with an empty room. Josie’s side was torn apart. I could only hope she came back to see what I had left for her. Moral of the story? She might be used to mind games, but in Texas we get our hands dirty.
“What happened here?” she asked, eyes wide.
“Adults can have temper tantrums, too.”
“Remind me not to piss you off.”
“What’s going on, Gabby?” She tore her jacket off and sat on the edge of my bed.
“It’s Liam. He’s drinking a lot and he punched Tyler.” Her face was hurt. I admit, a pang of guilt ran through my body.
“And that’s my problem how? A grown man shouldn’t need me to make sure he doesn’t self-destruct.”
She cocked her head at me. “And you aren’t? You’re just doing it in different ways.”
“Gabby, I know you mean well, but I need this behind me. Can we stop talking about it
