“I have been thinking over a lot of my life, with Rhonda having cancer, and the thought of losing her…” She was getting emotional, and to be honest, my mother wasn’t one I saw cry often. She had always attempted to pretend she was numb, or maybe she got so good at pretending to be she actually became that way.
“I know. I feel the same way. I love Rhonda and I’m…” I had looked toward her then away.
Heartbroken. I don’t even know if that word describes it.
“Rhonda is my big sister. She was always hard on me, but she did it because she loved me. If only I would have listened to her, but then again, if I would have listened to her I wouldn’t have you!” She smiled and chuckled. “You know when we were kids we did a lot of riding together. Living here, I love to ride but it was because of the rush, getting out here and riding hard, and getting fresh air. But lately, and especially since…well…life just seems short. I have found myself out here more, and connecting by loving on the horses, looking in their eyes, even grooming. I’m finding peace. Funny, huh?”
“Nah, the same connection that Rhonda has I imagine.”
“She always loved working with horses over people.”
“Yes, I wish you could've seen Rhonda when she was younger. We were thick as thieves."
"What changed all that?" I asked. Mom and Rhonda had mentioned different things at different times about the frustration they had with each other.
“Rhonda, my sister, tried to keep me from your father. She saw the way he treated me and was afraid I was going to lose myself in him.”
"Was she right?” I asked, as if I didn't know the answer.
“Don’t be smart with me. You know I did."
"So that is all that happened?"
"Your aunt feels like I let money take over my life. Our parents were wealthy, in fact, your father wouldn’t have his company if it weren’t for me. But that being said, Rhonda saw it as I was living my life for money, not for what it should be for. Then you add in not being the mother I should’ve been."
"So basically everything she feared for you happened?
"To the T,” Mom said. “Anyway, along with everything with Rhonda, I have been thinking a lot over things…your father and I are calling it quits. I realize, more now than ever, how much I missed out on.”
“Mom, you don't have to do this.”
“Just listen, please, this isn't a feel sorry for me, or give me sympathy. I am just simply stating the facts of my life. With the help of my sister and her husband, they were able to give you some guidance and love that I was too busy to do. Obviously, I can’t turn back time; but I can say I am proud of you and the way you have chosen to live your life. It makes me very proud and honored to be your mother.”
“That means a lot, Mom.”
“I was a different person when I met your father, then became someone else, before finishing where I am now. I am happy with that now. But I can look back and see the errors in my ways. I can’t make up for them, but I can tell you how I feel and show my regret.”
“There isn't any need…”
“I want to be a part of your life, Wyatt.”
“You are, Mom.”
“No, I mean really a part of your life. You tolerate me right now, but that is about it.”
“Look, it was hard to come home with Dad here. We have always had a bad relationship and then you add in Cash. It really wasn't anything personal to you. I love you, Mom. I just don't belong here.”
“I love you too.”
“Things are going to be different.”
“Mom, I want you to be happy. I’m happy.”
“You are? You definitely look happier than normal. Have you met someone?”
I smiled and then turned Colton toward the barn. Mom followed.
“I met the one, I think, anyway.”
“The reason?”
“Yes. Her name is Breigh.”
“Breigh, where have I heard that name before?”
“I don’t know. I don't think I have ever mentioned her. Anyway, we met at a dance hall in Hilltop and at first I wasn't really sure, but she has really got me hooked. I have no doubt in my mind, one-hundred-percent that I am in love with her. I am just fearf—”
“Cash, that’s where I have heard her name.”
“What? From Cash? About what?”
“Yes. I don’t remember. I just recognize the name. You know I don’t listen to what he says the majority of the time. It’s usually about him. Anyway, fearful? Well, I am glad to see someone admits that.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s a good feeling to have. Just like people who are jealous. They are afraid to lose something they love. Let me guess, you are fearful because she won’t feel the same?”
“That and I will put it all out there on the line, and then it won’t work out. In fact, to be honest, I had already decided I was done with women. Relationships, for sure. But then I met her. She is the sweetest, most genuine, honest, beautiful woman but had a really hard life growing up.”
“Does she know who you are?”
“Yes. I’m actually embarrassed to admit, but I took her to my house to show her on our first date. I wanted to know from the get-go what her feelings were.”
“That’s ridiculous, you were already testing her before y'all were an item? But I get it. I really do. If I give you some advice, will you think about taking it?”
“Possibly.”
“Maybe God put her in your life for a reason. If you like her, clearly she has you wrapped around her finger, you take a hold and you don't let go. Life is too short to not be happy. And if you find that happiness with someone then you better grab it.”
“This sounds completely corny, but what if she breaks my heart? We both know
