“Well, things certainly changed, didn't they?”
“Some for the better, some for the worse.” Mom said, certain she was stating a fact.
“Lately, except for Emma, and the time I’ve gotten to spend with Olivia, not much good has come my way.”
“I disagree,” Mom argued with a shake of her head.
The waiter delivered Mom’s drink, a cherry vodka sour, and she immediately took a sip.
“Olivia is a doll, isn't she? I just can’t get enough of her.”
“She really is.” I smiled, thinking of her sweet little smile and the way she hugged me. So much good in such a small little person. She more than likely was the only person who didn’t think ill of me in some way.
I couldn't help but think on what had gone wrong with me. Wyatt certainly didn't turn out that way.
“I remember when y'all were that age. So much to explore, I thought y'all would both run the world one day.”
I grinned. I guess Mom’s always had a different perception of things.
“What’s happening with you and Emma?”
‘We had dinner together before everything happened with the company, then a night together, actually the night of Olivia’s party. It was oddly enough one of the best nights of my life. I realize that makes me sound completely insane.”
“No, actually, it doesn’t. I could see at Olivia’s party there was still something there. Her eyes followed you around and I caught both of you staring at each other when the other wasn't looking.”
“Observant?” I smart-aleckly remarked.
“I know what I saw. So what’s the problem? Other than the fact you used to be a playboy.”
“Used to,” I seconded.
“You remember how bad I hurt her… I’m sure Wyatt and Breigh had filled you in… I was horrible to her. More than once.”
“You probably were just your normal jackass self. It seems you are finally coming out of that stage in your life. Took you long enough, if you ask me. Honestly, I wasn’t sure you were going to come out of it.”
“Thanks, Mom, for the vote of confidence.”
“I’m not going to sit here and lie to you. For Wyatt, he was a jackass but corrected his ways quickly. Your father is still a jackass and then you, well, up until recently I was worried you might follow in your father’s footsteps. You already had in other ways.” She took another sip of her drink and kept her eyes locked on me.
“I’m ashamed of so many things… my actions, the way I treated others, even you, Mom, my own brother. Things I can’t take back.”
“No, you can’t take things back but you can change them. You can prove to yourself that you are a changed man, and when you say you are changed, mean it. Don't just say it like it is something to say.”
“I have every intention to.”
“Life is too short. The older I get, the more I realize it. It seems like just yesterday I was in my twenties trying to figure everything out. I wish I would have listened to your aunt, Rhonda. It would have saved me a lot of heartache,” she stated, and I agreed.
“I just wish things…” I stopped, unsure I could list all the things I would love to have a chance to change.
Mom continued with her eyes intrigued by my response. “Why do you think it took you losing your livelihood for you to realize your potential, if you don't mind me asking? I always saw your potential, but you would never have listened if I would have told you so.”
“I really don't know. I was already feeling a lot of this before the company was seized. But that just magnified everything. Now, I have to really try to figure out what I’m going to do. I have lost everything… Didn’t you say one time that sometimes you have to lose everything to find yourself?” I said recalling that.
“Aunt Rhonda used to say that. I hated it too,” Mom said. She stared off into space as if she was remembering a memory.
“She was right though. I wish she could be here to see the changes I am making. Seriously making. The old Cash is history.”
“She sees it, just from a distance. I couldn't be prouder and I’m sure she feels the same way…”
“Mom, you are the first to find out but I want to ask Wyatt if he can pull some strings and get me into the academy. I want to use my degree and do some good in the world.”
“You want to be a police officer?”
“Yes. I really do. From what I have been able to find out, it is 720 hours of training. I think I can do it.”
Neither of us brought up the fact of how our father disowned Wyatt when he had stated he was going to become a police officer. He would more than likely do the same to me.
“I think that is wonderful. Of course it scares the hell out of me, but if that is what you want to do with your life, then I think it’s great. You should go for it. Can I ask why? I mean a police officer is someone that follows the rules, not always your strong standpoint. You have to care about others…”
“When I saw Dad do what he did to those people and the way they were put in a horrible spot, it really stuck a chord with me. I wish I would have seen some of the signs and did something to stop it. Maybe if I would have questioned more, and dug deeper into things, rather than just doing what I was told…”
“Maybe… but what good does worrying about that do now? Your father just would have lied to you like he did everyone else. I asked him many of times if he was doing illegal things. He denied it point-blank. I just never caught him in the act or had proof. ”
“He cared about nothing except himself.”
“And you, Son, have lived your last