Dora set the phone on her desk and opened the dress up, laying it on the makeshift futon bed. The fabric was yellowed in the underarm area. Again, she felt that odd jolting sensation. For more than a month she'd been Dora, but all of her memories are Serene's, and as Serene, it was only weeks ago that she went to Forever 21 with Bets and bought this white t-shirt dress, now old, the fabric brittle. Like everything and everyone from her past here in this sped-up future, Dora couldn't help but feel the numbness of shock at drastic changes continually lobbed at her, too many to process. For the umpteenth time, she tried to recall this other life she'd been leading.
What compelled her to go into the bedroom she shared with Erica, to snoop around and look for something she couldn't define? A sense? Was it the real Dora, the part of herself that had vanished? She wanted to scream. How could this happen to people? How could she betray herself so completely?
“For fuck's sake,” Dora exclaimed, hands trembling as she picked up the phone and played the messages again.
The sound of the door opening, and voices brought her out of her reverie.
"Hello? Anyone here?"
One of the kids. Sara or Jesse; Dora wasn't sure which. She stepped out of the room to see her son and daughter taking their shoes off by the door, a redheaded woman setting some duffel bags down and a small boy standing next to her.
"Hi," the woman said.
Dora gave them a brief wave, not sure what was happening.
"Mom, you're home," Jesse, or maybe Sara, said.
The woman smiled. "We forgot about the kid's spring shopping. Erica said to drop them by." She smiled again, this time a bit uncertain when Dora didn't say anything. "Is Erica here?"
"She went for a walk with Cuppa." Dora crossed her arms for something to do. She had no idea who she was talking to. Embarrassment kept her from inquiring.
"They went for a walk," the child with the blue eyes corrected. "Erica doesn't use the pronoun she."
Dora blinked her confusion. What did the kid mean, Erica didn't use the pronoun she? How was Dora supposed to refer to her?
The brown-eyed child ran up to her and threw his or her arms around Dora's waist.
"Leave Mom alone, she's confused."
"Mom's trying to remember her life, and we need to let her know when she gets things wrong." The blue-eyed-one shot back.
The brown-eyed child burrowed its face into her chest, breathing deep. Dora wanted to peel this small person off of her. She wanted to set everyone straight and explain that she wasn't a mom, not really. She didn't know what to do with kids, didn't get this strange world she suddenly found herself in. She didn't know what to make of allowing little boys to go around as transvestites. Isn't that what grown perverted men did?
The woman who had brought the kids back watched Dora as if she were some exotic creature. "Will you be alright with them?" She asked. "It's just, I need to meet up with a friend. Laird has a playdate."
"Of course, she's alright with us," the child squeezing Dora said. "She's our mother. She raised us way before you came along."
The blue-eyed one didn't look so sure. "I'm going to call Erica," she or he said and bent to unzip one of the bags on the floor. The small boy, who Dora presumed was Laird, stood idly picking his nose, looking a little bored.
"Erica?" The child spoke into the phone. "Tera just dropped us off here with Mom. Is that okay? Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. See you in a few." The child set the phone down and turned to Tera. "You can go. They're just a couple of blocks away. They'll be here in, like, five."
"Okay," Tera said. "Well, have fun, you guys."
The blue-eyed child glanced at Dora. "Is Dad coming back for us later?"
Tera hesitated. "Well, no, Sara. It's really your mom's week."
Sara's eyes turned frosty. "Okay. Whatever." She hefted her bag up and headed for her room without bothering to say goodbye.
"Sorry," Tera said to Dora and took her son's hand, lingering uncertainly by the door before opening it, her mouth turned down slightly. A second later, she slipped out.
"Do you want to go shopping with us?" The child hugging Dora asked.
Dora now knew that if the other one was Sara, then the one hugging her must be Jesse, the boy. He lifted his face up, his expression hopeful.
"Yes," Dora said, although she actually didn't. Not really.
It was cold on the promenade and the wind stung Dora's cheeks, making her nose run. They'd stopped at a Starbucks to buy hot drinks, coffee for Erica and hot chocolates for Dora and the kids. An attempt by Erica to order Dora's usual cappuccino created a frisson of tension when Dora told her––or them––she didn't drink coffee––another reminder to her family that she was someone else walking around in Dora's body.
Apparently, this afternoon of clothes shopping was one of three seasonal outings they did as a family. Barbara had stopped joining them as of late, Erica explained when they returned from their walk with Cuppa. The kids went through their things and got rid of what they didn't want. Erica and Dora usually brought their donations to a women's shelter. It seemed excessive, Dora thought to herself, taking kids shopping for clothes three times a year.
"Of course, we usually end up buying mostly everything online." Erica had said with a laugh. "Or shopping in your closet. You always have something cute for kids."
"My closet?" Dora echoed and watched Erica's carefree smile disappear, their martyr look of patience snapping back in place, acknowledging that Dora remembered nothing.
"Your online business I told you about earlier," Erica explained. "It's called Dora's Closet. You sell and rent clothes and other fashion accessories. Barbara, Cuppa and I have been running it for
