As it was, I was too tired to focus. And all I wanted to do was go back to bed. However, I had already been up for three hours, working on paperwork for the Boulder Bean and doing a bunch of prep for the rest of the week. Finishing cleaning my house was not high on the to-do list.
“Found it!” my son shouted as he ran back into the living room, and I poured more of my coffee into my thermos, knowing I’d need more at work today.
Thankfully, my staff had a handle on opening and had offered to take care of it for me this morning, even though it was supposed to be my shift. They understood that I was a single mom. And, sometimes, even though I owned the business, my son came first.
No, he always came first.
Then the business, then my friends…then me. Sometimes.
I groaned. Crap. My friends were supposed to show up today for a quick lunch. That most likely meant the inevitable end of any free time I might have.
I loved my friends, the pact sisters as one of the guys had called us. They were the other parts of my soul, the ones that kept me propped up and reminded me that I was human, a woman, and allowed to have some semblance of a life.
Only I did not want to meet with them today, for obvious reasons.
“Where was it?” I asked as Joshua came stomping in, his too-big backpack over his little shoulders, making him look far too adorable for his own good.
“On the peg in my bedroom.”
I barely resisted rolling my eyes. “You mean where it’s supposed to be?” I asked with a singsong tone.
“Maybe,” he said, drawing out the word. “Can I have a muffin?” Joshua asked, rising to his tiptoes.
“The muffins are at the café, and you already had your cereal.”
“But I’m a growing boy. I need muffins.”
“Maybe after school.”
“But after school, that’s the time for cupcakes. You know, muffins with frosting.”
I loved his brain. He was a handful, but he was mine. “That’s not exactly how that works. And after school, you will be eating your fruit snacks.”
“You call them fruit snacks, but it’s just fruit,” he mumbled.
I went to my knees in front of him, brushed his hair from his face, and looked down at the little man I loved more than life itself.
He had so much of his father in him sometimes that I had to focus to see what parts were from me. I had to look to see them. In his smile, the way his eyes twinkled just like my dad’s had.
I loved this little boy with every ounce of my being.
And though his entrance into the world hadn’t exactly gone as planned, his existence in it was everything I needed and more.
I would end the world for him. I would do anything for him.
Sometimes I just wished I didn’t always have to do it alone.
I shook off that thought and stood up, kissed the top of his head, and held out my hand.
“Okay, little man. Let’s get you to school so I can get to work.”
“I’m sorry you couldn’t go to work today.”
I paused as I looked down at Joshua, frowning. “What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“I know you have to open the shop and do all the baking and the cooking. But you couldn’t because you have to take care of me,” he told the floor, his head lowered. I went to my knees again, hugging him close.
“Joshua Bristol. You are the best thing in my life. If I want to take the morning off so I can hang out with my best bud, I will.”
“But how are you supposed to make money and keep a roof over our heads?” he asked, and I held back a wince.
I had no idea where he had learned that phrase, but at six years old, he was far too precocious for his age.
“My staff can help me, and I will be working. You have to go do your job, and I will do mine.”
“I miss Miss Nancy.”
I held back a grimace. Nancy had been a wonderful babysitter until she ran off with the older married man she had been boinking the entire time. The scandal had rocked our little part of Boulder, Colorado, the small town that was anything but small.
Now, I was down one babysitter. While I loved Constance, my other nanny, she was in college and had morning classes all semester. That meant she couldn’t come over and help with Joshua’s morning preparations, which had been part of Nancy’s job.
I would figure it out, find somebody I trusted enough. But until then, my friends were helping me pick up the slack, and I would forever be grateful.
Even Hazel’s man, Cross, had helped out a few times. His brothers had, too.
I held back a wince at the thought of his brothers. I liked them. I loved his sister. But one of their brothers? I just wanted to throw something at even the thought of him.
I didn’t know what it was about Macon, but he set my teeth on edge.
It didn’t help that Joshua had begun clinging to him like a little monkey recently. And Macon seemed to encourage it.
He scowled and growled, but then he became the sweetest man to my baby boy. And if there weren’t something off about Macon that made me hold back, maybe I’d appreciate that my child had someone to look up to.
But Joshua didn’t have a father, not really. And I wasn’t going to let him latch on to the Brady brothers when they weren’t constants in his life.
“Are you okay, Mommy?” Joshua asked, his voice low.
I pushed away all thoughts of Macon, fighting, and that growl of his that did things to me that I’d rather not think about.
“Mommy is just fine.”
