His stomach twisted again as reality washed over him. That baby would grow up either way. Go from an infant to a toddler, then a child who’d learn to call him ‘Dad’. Maybe they’d look at him the way he’d seen Marley and Presley look at Gray. As though he was the king of the goddamned world.
Or maybe they’d look at him the way he saw his dad. As a disappointment. Somebody who was never there for him.
As the person who always let them down.
“This is your room,” Gray said opening the door to the guest room. Like the rest of the house, it was huge, with an oversized divan and expensive bedspread, the walls a soft gray, with a darker, thick carpet.
Logan nodded. “Thanks, man. I’ll just take a shower then come out and say hi to everybody. You need any help with dinner?”
“That’d be great.” Gray gave him a smile. “I have a feeling bedtime’s gonna be a battle tonight. Pres and Marl have been going crazy all day with all the attention they’ve been getting. They’re going to hate having to sleep.” He lifted an eyebrow. “I’ll tell ya, nobody ever prepares you to be a parent. It’s harder than anything I’ve ever done.”
Logan’s mouth turned dry. Presley started to grumble, arching his back to try to get out of Gray’s hold.
“You okay, man?” Gray asked. “You just went white as a sheet. You sure you’re not coming down with something?”
Logan opened his mouth to say he was fine, then closed it again, because fine was so far away from what he was feeling right now.
He was terrified. Confused. And already feeling like he’d failed before he even began.
“No,” he said, his voice rough. “I’m not.” He lifted his gaze to Gray’s, taking in the concern etched on his brother’s face. “Can we talk about it later?”
“Take this.” Gray tossed him a bottle of beer, then pulled a cap off the other and took a long gulp. “Okay,” he said once he’d swallowed it down. “Spill. Who’s the lucky lady? Is it someone from the restaurant?”
The two of them were alone in the kitchen, loading the dishes into the huge stainless steel washer that wouldn’t look out of place in one of Logan’s restaurants. He’d helped Maddie and Gray design this kitchen, and had worked with his contacts in Boston to supply the best appliances money could buy. Maddie and Becca were bathing the twins before their bedtime, and Dad and Aunt Gina were in the living room, waiting for Becca to drive them home. Tanner and Van had left after dinner. They had a week before the holiday season began at the drive-in they owned, and they needed to work in the morning.
Logan’s brows knit together. “Why do you think it’s someone from the restaurant?” he asked.
Gray made a face at him. “Because you’re never anywhere else.”
“Yeah, well Courtney lives about a mile away from here.”
Gray blinked. “The mom’s from Hartson’s Creek?”
Logan nodded. “You know Creek Edge Farm? On Main?”
“Yeah, I know it.” His eyes widened in recognition.
“I didn’t know her until this year,” Logan admitted. “We’ve only saw each other a few times, really.” He leaned his arms on the counter, clasping his hands together. “We met by accident when one of her hens ran in front of my car. Then things got a little out of hand.”
“Wow.” Gray raked his hand through his hair. “I had no idea.”
“Nobody did. It was a casual thing. She didn’t want anything serious, and neither did I.”
Gray chuckled. “Getting pregnant sounds pretty damn serious to me.”
Logan sighed, staring out of the glass doors. Night had fallen, and the sky was dark. And he still hadn’t gotten his head around what Courtney had told him. “It was an accident.” He shook his head. “My fucking fault. I forgot to use a condom.”
“You forgot?” Gray gave a low whistle. “Oh boy. It’s not like forgetting to turn the light off or something. You only had one damn job.”
Logan dropped his head into his hands. “I know. I fucked up. And I have no idea what to do about it.”
Gray was silent for a moment. Logan swallowed hard, the reality of his situation pressing down on him like a dead weight. “She’s having my baby,” he said, lifting his gaze to his brother’s. “I’m gonna be a dad and I’m not ready for it.”
“Nobody’s ready for it. I know I wasn’t.” Gray wiped his hands on a towel and took another mouthful of beer. “But really, that doesn’t matter because the baby’s coming whether you like it or not. So what are you gonna do?”
Logan blinked like a deer in headlights. “I’ve no idea.”
“It’s a long way between here and Boston,” Gray said, his voice even. “You planning on being a part-time dad?”
The question felt loaded. Logan lifted his hands up. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “My business is there. My baby is gonna be here. I have no fucking idea how to make this work.”
“How far along is she?”
“Ten weeks.”
The corner of Gray’s mouth quirked up. “Then you have around six and a half months to figure it all out.”
Six months. Damn. That didn’t feel like very long at all. “I’m gonna mess this up. The way I mess everything up.” He shook his head. “This poor kid is doomed from the start.”
Gray threw the towel at him. It brushed against Logan’s hair before landing on the floor. “Shut up,” Gray told him. “You’re not gonna mess it up. And you’re not gonna be a bad dad. Not unless you really work hard at failing.” He walked around the counter, and pulled out two stools, sitting on one and offering the other to Logan. “You’re gonna be there for your kid, right?”
Logan frowned. “Of course I am.” He was as surprised as Gray by the vehemence in his voice. “I mean, I’m going to fuck it up. We both know that. But I’ll try to be
