Her pretty cheeks are pink now. I don’t know why she’s embarrassed about this. I’m proud of her for going after what she wants, even if I’m not crazy about the reason why she’s doing it.
She drops her gaze to the throw pillow in her lap. She tugs absently on the fringes. “I think it’s time I focus on the future...” She has no idea I already know about the future she’s referring to.
“Well, I need some help with redecorating my cabin,” I tell her. “I’ll pay you.”
Penny's eyebrow goes higher. “I’ll do it for free,” she says, her words slow and suspicious.
It's no secret that I'm not the most style-conscious guy so my sudden impulse to fancy up my shabby little cabin is clearly out-of-character. I threw a big, ol' mantrum the last time she tried to change my living room drapes and add a few fancy pillows to my couch.
“No, I said I’d pay you, Penn.”
“I already owe you a zillion favors so I’m happy to do it for free. You’ll make a good reference for my next client.” Despite her tight smile, I hear the distrustful tone in her voice. She knows I'm up to something. “You okay?” she asks, scanning my face with those perceptive green eyes.
Penny knows me too well. There's no point in playing games. So, I go straight in for the kill.
There's no hiding the bitterness in my voice when I speak. “I will pay you since you need to save for your pregnancy.”
I expected silence. I expected shit to be awkward. But Penn never does what I expect her to. She jumps up from the couch, pointing a long finger at me, like I’m the criminal here.
“I knew it! I knew you were acting weird!” She paces a few steps on her modern rug, shaking her head. “Lexi and Iris really talk a lot, don’t they?”
“I overheard your little videocall,” I grunt out. I glance up and I meet her wide green eyes, the pretty eyes I've been in love with my whole life. Suddenly, I realize what I felt earlier this evening when I heard the news while eavesdropping on the girls' conversation.
It hurt. I…hurt.
When Penny moved in here, we binged on pizza and beer while painting the living room teal blue. When she bought the shelving unit from hell, I spent an entire Sunday afternoon trying to figure out how to put the thing together. When a window gets jammed or when a cupboard door falls off, I'm the one she calls.
I've always been there for her. That's why I'm pissed she didn't even talk to me about this.
She's having a baby.
“So, you weren’t even gonna tell me? You were going to plan a pregnancy—by yourself—and not tell me? Some best friends we are.” I sound bitter as fuck.
Penny looms over me and I slouch like a woeful, discontented teenager. Her hands fall to her hips, and I know I’ve pushed her over the edge. “First of all, Walker, this is my decision, and you don’t have the right to be mad.”
Fuck, she's absolutely right. And I don’t know why that bothers me so much. I shift my head to try and hide the scowl I can feel on my face.
She pauses. Her voice softens. “Secondly, I would have told you, once I’d done all my research and figured everything out.”
It’s wrong for her to be doing this whole pregnancy deal alone. It’s too much for one person. Not only is it expensive, it’s emotionally draining and physically exhausting, too. I don’t know if I can watch her go through it on her own.
That’s just the thing with Penny. She’s never needed nobody. Probably because of all the times she's been let down by her mom. After being repeatedly disappointed by the person who's supposedly biologically programmed to have her back, my friend got used to depending only on her own damn self.
"I just don't understand why you want to do this," I grumble. I fold my arms across my chest.
"Of course you don't understand." She shakes her head. "You come from the perfect family. You have parents who love you, siblings who have your back. You don't understand what it's like to be me. How fucking alone I feel. I am all alone in this world, Walker. So maybe I'm selfish for wanting a baby but there is no doubt in my mind that I can love this kid. I will love him...or her...or them."
I rise to my feet, now towering above her. Her breath hitches. Her gaze slowly rakes up my body until she finally meets my eyes. She may be tall, but I’m still a head taller. She moves to step back, but without thinking I grab her by the waist.
“You're smart. Funny. Beautiful." Her skin pinks up when I utter that last one. I know I'm toeing the invisible line between us. "You shouldn't have to do this."
Her gaze drops to the floor. She mutters, all snarky. "Well, thank you very much but being 'beautiful' doesn't keep a girl warm at night..."
I lower my face to catch her eyes and force her to look at me. "You deserve a good man by your side, starting a family. Not some faceless college student jizzing into a specimen cup for a few dollars so he can fund his next drunken rager.”
She's still giving me that attitude of hers. My cock loves when she gets all sassy like this. “Let me tell you something, Walker. This is the twenty-first century, and not every woman has the luxury of being swept off her feet by Prince Charming.”
“Well, you may not have Prince Charming, but you have a best friend. You have me.” I say words I never thought I’d utter in my lifetime. “I’ll be your sperm donor, Princess. Let me be your...baby daddy.”
8
Penny
His too-large hands are still gripping my sides. My jaw drops.
Let me be your...baby daddy.
I need to pinch myself. The man of my dreams just offered to jizz into a cup for me. On a countdown of the wildest conversations Walker and I have ever had, this one officially takes the top spot. I’m floored that he’d even suggest this.
I can’t deny the way my body rouses
