"Diana, as you said, he's a grown man and Penny's grown, too. We can't go meddling just because—”
“No.” She backs up further.
“Come on, Snowflake,” Dad pleads.
"You fix this," she threatens, wiping her eyes again. "You fix this, Lucas. And just so we're clear, the outcome I'm looking for is a big wedding and a new daughter-in-law and another beautiful grandbaby to love all over."
On that, she storms out of the room.
I scrub a hand down my face. Oh, fuck. But I can’t wipe away the layer of grime piling up in my chest. Dammit—guilt is creeping in. Can I really walk away from my own child? Before the little thing is even born?
When I glance up, I’m met by Dad’s penetrating glare and I know I’m about to get an earful. “Penny is a huge part of your everyday life and this child will be, too." He folds his thick arms over his chest. "Do you really plan on going the next eighteen years, seeing that kid all the time and not getting attached to him? Not having an opinion when Penny enrols him in some bullshit all-boys school or lets him sign up for men's synchronized swimming as an extra-curricular or gives him an awful bowl haircut? Trust me—having to watch your child’s life from afar like a spectator is going to eat you alive, son.”
Son…Thirty-five years and my heart still scrapes on my ribs every time he calls me that.
“This is fucking hard, Dad.” I sound like a whiny brat, even to my own ears.
Romantic relationships are hard. I’ve known this since I was a child. One day, two people are head-over-heels for each other. The next day, they’re in court, tearing each other apart for the whole world to see. I can’t let that be the outcome for Penny and me. I’d rather play it safe. I’d rather stay friends.
My father cuts me no slack. “Life is hard, Walker. Protecting anything worth loving is hard. You think I didn't have to fight for your mother? You think our love story came easy? You think there weren't road bumps that the rest of the world didn't see? But I fought for her. I fought for you and your brothers and this family. To keep us together. Because I knew that I didn’t even stand a chance at finding happiness in this hard world unless I had all of you in my life." He clasps my shoulder with his massive hand. He gives me a meaningful stare that grabs me by the guts. “And, son, I have never regretted putting my all into that fight.”
On that, he turns for the doorway and follows after Mom, leaving me all alone with an unsettling reality. After having Penny's warm body in my bed last night, I don't know if I have the strength to face my cold sheets alone from here on out.
25
Penny
So...about that artificial insemination thing...?" Jessa clutches a steaming coffee mug between her palms and grins.
Lexi's grin is even wider. She sits at the kitchen table, both hands braced on her belly. "Looks like you and Walker decided to take a detour, huh? 'Cause there's nothing artificial about that hickey on the side of your neck."
"And that limp, girl." Iris laughs as she munches on fresh fruit. "You're gonna need to go get that checked out."
We're all gathered around Walker's kitchen table with burnt bacon and eggs and coffee sitting in the middle. My friends continue to make light of my situation but my heart is a tight fist in my chest. I'm still trying to process everything that's happened in the past eight hours.
My best friend licked my pussy like a desperate man trying to survive a drought. Then he fucked me hard enough to chisel his name into my bones. And then he made me breakfast?
Dammit, Walker Kingston. Would you stop melting my ovaries? I'm trying to get pregnant over here.
I slide a piece of bacon into my mouth. "Do you assholes want to hear what happened or do you just want to keep taking snarky jabs at me?"
I'm met with the girls' eager nods. From where I'm sitting, I have a clear line of sight to Callie, lounging on the couch, watching a children’s show on Jessa's phone. I double-check that she's out of earshot before I dive into my story because this is definitely not one for innocent, little ears.
I start all the way back at my last appointment at the clinic, the way Walker changed his mind at the last minute and then suggested we go the au naturel route. I explain to them that I tried to resist but last night, my desire just became too much. I tell them that I showed up here uninvited and then I go into detail about what happened next. The girls hang onto my every word with undivided attention.
"So is he a beast in bed?" Lexi takes a bite of her toast. "He looks like a beast in bed."
I gnaw on the inside of my lip when I think of the things he did to my body. I don't understand it. From the second we touched, he knew exactly how to kiss me, how to tease me, how to get me there like no other man ever has. "He's a beast in bed..." I tell her. "...and on the couch...and in the hallway...and in the shower..."
Uproarious laughter rolls across the table.
"So are you guys together now?" Jessa asks. Her hope beams blindingly bright. I can tell that she's really rooting for me to get a happy ending. With Walker.
I glance out the window, in the direction of the Kingston guesthouse. Walker is over there with his mother now. He's probably getting grilled. For me. I flinch.
The man is so many kinds of wonderful. But still, he's not mine. And I can't let myself forget that.
When I bring my eyes back to Jessa, she's still waiting for my response. I laugh but even I can admit it sounds sad. There's no fairytale ending for us. "No, Jessa. We're only trying to make a baby. Aside from that, we’re nothing
