Instantly, a deep calm sweeps over me. I fill my lungs with air. I wipe a bead of sweat off my forehead, probably only smearing more grease on myself. A grin starts curling the edges of my mouth before I can even turn around.
“Hey, you,” I whisper when I face her, relief washing my heart.
But Penny doesn't look up when I speak. She's not even looking in my direction. She’s walking toward me, eyes glazed over. Her pace is weird. Slow. Almost as though she’s in some sort of trance.
Alarmed, I hop off the tractor and meet her partway. "Penn? What's going on?"
She stops just inches away from me and that’s when I see it.
A small white pregnancy test rests in her palm.
Shock. That’s what I see now on her face. She’s in shock.
My pulse races. My anticipation climbs. “Penny…? Talk to me.”
Her lips move but she struggles to get words out. So, she just holds the tiny stick out to me. I avert my eyes downward, with no idea how to read the small display. I was expecting to see something helpful—like words or numbers or flashing neon lights or something—but instead, there’s just a bunch of pink lines.
I use the back of my finger to lift Penn’s face. I end up smearing grease all over her pretty chin. I just want to kiss it.
Nervous laughter fills my chest. "Come on, woman. Give me something here! Does this mean what I think it means?”
She meets my eyes finally. “I’m pregnant.” It’s barely more than a whisper.
I blink. "You're...?"
She nods and her eyes are cloudy with happy, glittery, stunned tears. "I'm pregnant, Walker."
My friend's quiet words slide through my system before settling in the center of my chest. Excitement explodes like a piñata. “Fuck yeah!”
My hands grip her tiny frame, and I spin her around the barn while her laughter spills out.
She’s pregnant. My best friend in the whole world is pregnant. With my baby.
I can't control myself—I hold her to me and kiss those soft, swollen lips...
All while wondering if this is our last kiss.
I've done my job, I've served my purpose.
Will Penny still need me now?
28
Penny
I’ve nearly chewed off the nails on my left hand, sitting back here in the exam room. This time, I’m alone. Walker did his part, so I didn't feel like bugging him to come with me to the doctor again. I hate admitting that I do wish he were here with me, I wish I wasn't sitting here alone.
But this is the path I've chosen—single parenthood—and there's no turning back. It doesn't matter that my feelings for my friend have only grown stronger over the past few weeks.
In any case, I need to focus my energy on this appointment. It took a few days before the clinic could squeeze me into their packed schedule. I've got my fingers crossed that things will go as expected, that the blood test will confirm what the at-home test indicated.
The nurse pokes her head into the room and the toothy smile on the woman’s face puts me at ease. She knows the outcome I'm hoping for. I hold my breath and my heart stops beating as she closes the door behind her. “Well, congratulations, Miss Merlini. You're pregnant.”
I nearly fall off the table in relief. "I'm pregnant?"
She nods. "You're pregnant, dear."
I cover my mouth with both hands to hold back my happy sobs. I’ve wanted this for so long, and even though I was hopeful, I didn't really expect it would happen the first month of trying. I pull in a thankful breath.
But in the next heartbeat, my chest is tightening. I'm pregnant...And now I'm wondering what that means for Walker and me because god knows I've been growing accustomed to his kisses, to his sleepy smiles, to the feel of his body in bed next to me every night.
This is a blessing, I try to convince myself, because I don’t think my heart could handle too many more months of sleeping with Walker. I might be able to persuade my body that all the sex was for some greater purpose, but my heart? My heart was just not getting the message. At least now, I can move on.
The nurse hands me a prescription for prenatal vitamins and an eight-page list of 'do's and 'don’t's on my way out. Who knew there was so much food I’m suddenly not allowed to eat? Like seriously? Luncheon meat? There goes a whole page in my coupon book.
I leave my appointment on a high and I just want someone to share my news with. I send a text to Iris, who rounds up the girls. We all make plans to meet up at Renewed Gowns, Lexi’s second-hand bridal shop on Promenade Street.
Twenty minutes later, I strut into the bridal boutique with a grin so big it barely fits through the front door. The shop is officially closed for the day. My friends are waiting with flowers and candy and strawberry milkshakes from Jittery Joe's. They heap onto me with hugs, shooting a dozen questions at a time.
“You haven’t been sick or anything?” Lexi asks. She sits behind the counter with her feet up on a box of second-hand wedding shoes as she winces and caresses her jumbo-sized belly.
I lean on her counter and sip from my takeout cup. "The fatigue was the first symptom but I tried chalking it up to my shifts at the bar, the stress of getting my business off the ground and the non-stop sex sessions Walker and I had been having on a nightly basis. But then came the extra tender breasts that seemed to balloon in size overnight. When I puked up the apple I had for breakfast yesterday morning, I knew it was time to get a pregnancy test. Plus, I’m starving all the time, and did I mention my boobs are killing me?”
Iris leans on the glass display next to me. “They do look huge already,” she muses with a little laugh, propping her chin
