Usually, I don’t like it when people get too close. Yet, with Penny, I want to pull her into my bubble and hold her hostage there, keep her with me always. The girl is special to me.
I lace up my boots and trek out into the fields, enjoying the sunlight that streaks through the trees. I don’t make it far before coming across my parents. They're out taking an early walk together.
“Beautiful morning, isn’t it?” Ma asks wistfully, staring off toward the cluster of maple trees concealing Eli’s house on the edge of the river.
“Sure is.” I follow her gaze, suddenly feeling a little nostalgic at the reminder of my brother.
Mom quickly snaps out of her thoughts. She drapes an arm around my back and I drop a kiss on her cheek.
“What are you working on today, son?” Dad asks, eyes flicking around the farm.
I give him a rundown of all the projects I hope to finish by this evening. I don't mention that I’ll also need to give Penny a ride to her house so she can pick up her own car. I didn't take that into account when I kidnapped her yesterday.
My father squints back toward my cabin. “I think I'll take Callie for a ride this morning. I've got to find her bicycle, though. It's buried under a load of crap in the shed.” The shed he's speaking of is right next to my house. Specifically, right next to my bedroom window.
“Um…maybe you could wait another hour or two before you get started?” I hesitate. "Penny's still sleeping."
My parents’ eyes swing toward me. Dad's gaze narrows while my mom gives me this pathetically hopeful look.
“There’s a problem at her apartment and she needs a place to crash for a while,” I say to dispel any of their assumptions.
A few days ago, I decided to be direct with my parents and tell them that Penny’s pregnant. I wanted them to hear it from me. Not my blabbermouth brothers or their women or worse yet, the gossip mill around town. When we had the discussion, I could see that they were both holding their tongues. I know they still think I made a mistake by doing things this way. But they don’t understand Penny like I do.
Ma sighs loudly. “I wish you two would just…”
Her words trail off when Dad gives her this look. The one where he tightens his mouth into a thin line. The one that says, 'Don’t push it, woman'. I know it well. I have a suspicion that I use that same look when Penny tries to get under my skin.
“Well, I’ll leave you men to it, then,” Mom says, a hint of her annoyance peeking through. “I’ve got to get back to the guesthouse. We’re booked for an engagement party tonight, and we’ve got to get everything decorated.” She gives me another quick hug before sharing a kiss with my dad. Then, she throws one last longing glance toward my brother’s house, causing my heart to crack a little. I hate how torn up she is over Eli’s situation.
We watch Ma trod off, back in the direction of the guesthouse. Then my father claps me on the back. I think that’s going to be goodbye, but he follows me toward the barn. “How’s the remodel going with Penny? I bet she covered every inch of the cabin with rainbows and floral patterns.”
“It's going great, actually,” I answer with a muted laugh. “She's making everything a little bit fancier but overall, I think she really does know my style.”
Dad chuckles and mumbles under his breath. “I think that girl knows everything about you." When I shoot him a look, he holds up both hands in surrender. "Your mother and I promised ourselves we wouldn't meddle."
"Ma? Ma won't meddle?" I speak in a disbelieving tone. “It’s only a matter of time until the woman cracks and all her opinions come spewing free.”
There's amusement on his face. He shrugs a shoulder and shoves his hands into his pockets as we stroll.
"That's good..." I say but after we walk some more, I’m the one who just can't hold my tongue. "Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy, like I have no damn idea what I'm doing. I told myself that once she got pregnant, we'd just go back to being friends like we were before. But now that she's carrying my baby, I want to protect her, I want to take care of her. I want to be there for her." My heart feels raw, fragile and out in the open. “I’m trying to respect her wishes about the single mother thing but—dammit, Dad—I want to be her man."
I'm feeling a tight pull in my chest. The level of idiocy of signing that legal contract is finally starting to sink in.
My father’s pace slows to a stop. He turns to me and speaks forcefully. “We’ve had this conversation before. You know where I stand on it. If a relationship is what you want, figure it out, tell her, be a man about it. And do it before you miss your chance.”
My mouth is clamped shut. Dad always tried the hardest with me. I was never sure if it was a genuine bond between a man and his oldest son, or if he just felt sorry for my grumpy ass.
I don't want to dismiss what he’s saying or take his advice lightly. My father has been through the fire to protect our family. So, I know that what he's telling me, he's saying from experience.
“Just think about it, Walker. You could be one conversation away. One conversation away from the life you've always wanted with the woman you've always loved. All you've gotta do is take a chance. Open your mouth and dare to tell her how you really feel.”
Outwardly, I stay silent but in my head, I’m compiling a list of reasons why I shouldn’t go blabbing to Penny about my feelings. The girl is my best friend. Our friendship has stood the test of time. I was Penny’s defender throughout
