“I’m delighted that matrimony is on your schedule. It means I won’t have to drag you to the altar, but why are you eloping? Why not proceed in a church?”
“We’re in a bit of a rush, but I doubted there was a bishop in the kingdom who would grant me a Special License.”
“I can obtain a Special License for you. What about your brother?”
“My. . . brother?” Caleb asked, feeling even more perplexed.
“According to Libby, he needs to have his own wedding before he ships out. Is he still in London? Or has he left already?”
“He’s still here.”
“Then he’s about to be a husband too.”
“The young lady in question isn’t interested. She assumes she can ruin herself without consequence.”
“You listened to her?” Barrett said. “You let her decide?”
“I have no authority over her, so I’m in no position to make her behave.”
“Well, Ralston, my fiancée and yours expect a wedding between the pair, so we have to accomplish it. Then you and I will ride to Barrett and complete your own nuptials. I must confess though that with all these marriages taking place, I may break out in hives.”
“I warned my brother that he couldn’t avoid it. It’s the girl who’s being silly.”
“You and I will fix that situation straight away.”
“And as to Caro,” Caleb said, “she’s so angry with me. If I stagger in at Barrett, she’ll likely throw me out a window.”
“Again, Ralston, she doesn’t get to decide. You and I will handle it, and perhaps we can arrive with a few incentives that will convince her to like you again.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“How about if you summon your brother? We have to inform him that his bachelor days are over. While we wait for him, I’ll tell you what I was thinking.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Yes, tomorrow.”
Janet gaped at Blake, and she felt something crack in the center of her chest. It had to be her heart breaking.
“What time do you sail?” she asked. “Could I come down to the dock and wave goodbye?”
“The tide turns around eleven in the morning.”
She noticed that he hadn’t answered her question about whether she could come to the dock or not. Would he like that? Was it allowed?
She supposed she ought to simply be glad he’d bothered to tell her he was leaving. He could have just boarded his ship and traipsed off. She wouldn’t have figured out what had happened until he’d stopped visiting.
He grinned his devil’s grin. “Will you miss me?”
“You’re much too vain, so I won’t admit it. It would merely inflate your ego.”
“I’ll miss you,” he thrilled her by saying.
“If you can bring yourself to confess it, then I shall confess the same. I will miss you too.”
He chuckled. “We had quite a go of it, didn’t we? I’ll always be proud of how brave you are.”
She wasn’t brave though. She was young and scared and very stupid. She needed to inform him she might be increasing, and she was desperately anxious to ask him for some more money, but he’d already given her so much. Dare she beg for more?
They were in her London apartment, and she yearned to drag him into the bedroom like the worst doxy. She wanted to hold him close one last time, but he couldn’t tarry.
Again, she had to remember she was lucky he’d stopped by. He could have vanished with no warning. If he had, she truly believed she might have perished from despair.
She’d known the end was approaching, but she’d been living in a bubble, watching as his departure date neared, but pretending it wasn’t about to arrive.
Now what. . . ?
She wished Caroline hadn’t left for the country to stay with Miss Carstairs. Or she wished she’d accompanied her cousin. It would have been better than listening to the quiet that would descend once he walked out.
“If I had to contact you for some reason,” she said, “is there a way I could do it?”
“I’ll get mail in Gibraltar, so feel free to write. I’d like to hear from you, but it will take forever for me to receive a letter.”
“I see. . .” She forced a smile. “I guess I’m a bit fonder of you than I realized.”
“Could I tell you a secret?”
“Of course. You can tell me anything.”
“My brother learned about our affair, and he suggested we marry, but I told him you’d never settle for such a dreary conclusion.”
On having him repeat her words back to her, she could have wept with regret and insisted she hadn’t meant any of them.
She didn’t want to wind up alone and forsaken. She didn’t want to birth a child when she had no husband to give it a name. There might be a world in the future where a woman could carry on like that, but it wasn’t here yet. And though she liked to picture herself in a different light, she was no courageous radical.
She was just Janet Grey from Grey’s Corner, and she didn’t have the maturity required to face down society as a pariah.
“Could I tell you a secret?” she asked.
She gazed into his beautiful blue eyes, and there were so many comments struggling to burst out that she might have been choking on them.
How did a girl propose marriage? It was why fathers dealt with the situation. A man could confer with another man and fix the dilemma. A man could coax another man to behave appropriately. What could a woman do?
She started to tremble, and he frowned and said, “Caleb was probably correct. Maybe we should wed. It’s the expected path for us, but I would never pressure you into it. It would have to be your idea.”
She was saved from responding by a brisk knock on the door. “Hold that thought. Let me see who it is.”
She peeked out, being surprised to discover his brother standing there. There was another man with him. They appeared large and important,
