She pushed back her chair and stood. “I can’t discuss this with you.”
“Why not?”
“Because it hurts me, you dunce.”
“Why does it hurt?”
He reached out and tried to hold her hand, but she yanked away and staggered off. If he touched her, she couldn’t focus, and she might utter any humiliating comment.
“I’m a very proud woman, Jacob Ralston, and you chased me until you caught me. You used me badly, then tossed me aside. You bluntly and brutally apprised me I could never be worthy of you, and I can’t dawdle as you wax on about your next fiancée. All the while, I’d have to remember that you would never have considered me!”
His grin became even more sly. “Why, Joanna James, I could have sworn that you told me—over and over again—that you would never marry.”
She was aggravated to have him hurl her own words back in her face. “I might have mentioned that once or twice.”
“But what if you met a kind and loyal man, one who loved you madly? What would your opinion be then?”
“I . . . I . . . can’t answer a hypothetical question.”
“Why not? Are you afraid your attitude about matrimony just might be ridiculous?”
He stood then too, and he stepped toward her. She lurched back, and they moved across the floor in a sort of awkward dance. Finally, she bumped into the wall and could go no farther. He swooped in and slapped his palms on the plaster, trapping her between them.
“You, Miss James, are the most infuriating female.”
“You believe that because I’ve never been in awe of you.”
“No, you haven’t ever been, but why is that exactly? I’m handsome, rich, and renowned. I’m landed and important, and I have a famous name and ancestry. The only thing I lack is a fancy title, yet none of my qualities appeal to you.”
“I don’t care if you’re landed and important. Those traits don’t interest me in the slightest.”
“What would interest you then? I’m so curious to hear.”
“If I ever broke down and wed, it would be to a man who adored me, a man who couldn’t live without me. He’d have to be my friend, my partner, my confidante. He’d have to be secure enough in his own ego to let me be me, but as I’ve discovered, there are very few men like that out in the world.”
“So you’ll remain a spinster.”
“Yes.”
“You’ll be content with that conclusion.”
“The women in my family always have been. I’m sure I will be too.”
“There’s one little problem with that scenario.”
“What is it?”
To her great consternation, he dropped to a knee and clasped hold of her hand, their palms connecting in a sweet way rather than a raucous one. There was only one reason a man put himself in that position, and she blanched with dismay.
“What are you doing?”
“You know what I’m doing, so be silent and listen to me.”
“No. You’re teasing me, and it’s cruel of you to behave like this.”
He scowled. “Why would you imagine I’m teasing?”
“You’re about to propose, but you don’t mean it. You were very blunt that day at my cottage. You are the grand and glorious Jacob Ralston, and I am lowly, inconsequential Joanna James. You’re the biggest snob I’ve ever encountered—except perhaps for your sister. You could never stoop down far enough to wed me.”
His scowl deepened. “Are you finished?”
“I guess.”
“Then be silent and listen for once.” She opened her mouth to offer another remark, and he laid a finger on her lips. “Hush! It’s my turn to talk. You claim you’d wed if you could find a man who adores you. Well, Joanna James, I adore you.”
“Yes, you probably do, but so what?”
“So what?” He grumbled with frustration. “You are so obstinate! I can’t figure out why I’m bothering with you.”
“Neither can I. Your sister revealed how she views me. Your other relatives would feel the same, and they’d never agree to a match between us. Your friends would laugh behind your back, and your acquaintances would insult you to your face. There’s an odd impulse driving you, so you’re not thinking clearly.”
“I am not thinking clearly?”
“No.”
“Would you like to hear another secret Caleb shared with me?”
“Not really.”
“He advises me that—when you last spoke with my father on his ship—you asked him to watch over you.”
Her cheeks heated. “I might have.”
“This is him watching over you. This is him leading me to your side. I will confess that it took me awhile to heed his message.”
“What message is it you assume he’s delivered?”
“He’s telling me that I will never be able to walk away from you. I tried! I told myself it was for the best, but every time I avoid you, it feels as if fetters are strapped to my ankles to draw me back. You are the one who believes in Fate and destiny. Not me. You can’t stand here and declare you don’t belong with me. My father, God rest his soul, will never give me any peace until you accept what he’s arranged for us.”
She started to tremble. All summer, his father’s ghost had been hovering. Libby and Caro had noticed him too. He’d been such a central character in their lives, and it made perfect sense that he’d intervene.
“You imagine your father brought me to you?”
“I’m certain he did.”
Joanna stared down at him, and she was riveted by the blue of his eyes, by the tenderness of his gaze. He was so handsome, so mesmerizing. He kissed her hand, then said, “Joanna James, will you marry me?”
It was on the tip of her tongue to refuse him, but she swallowed down the words. She would love to have him for her very own, but she was so conflicted. It seemed very, very right for them to end up together, but it seemed a complete blunder too. Weren’t they too different?
“I
