“I doubt our paths will cross very often. I don’t ever come to the manor, and you ride so rarely. Why would we be forced to fraternize?”
“Wouldn’t you like to . . . to . . . fraternize?”
Her cheeks heated, and she felt like a needy beggar. Why, precisely, had she visited him?
She didn’t want to rekindle their amour. She was twenty-eight, a widow who wasn’t grieving her husband, but who was definitely grieving her marriage. She wasn’t in the market for a beau, yet she craved things from him she couldn’t identify.
“I can’t bear for us to carry on as if we’re strangers,” she said.
“Well, we are strangers. How can you fail to comprehend that fact?”
“You used to know me better than anyone.”
“We were children, Margaret!” He threw up his hands in frustration. “We believed we were so smart. We believed we could bend the world’s rules, but we couldn’t. You’re home, and I’m still here, but so what? What are you hoping to have happen? For the life of me, I can’t deduce what it is.”
“I can’t figure it out either. I’m just . . . just . . .”
Tears swarmed to her eyes and dripped down her cheeks. He appeared stricken, as if she’d hit him with a club.
“Don’t you cry on me,” he said. “I can’t deal with it.”
“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have wed Mr. Howell! You warned me, but I didn’t listen, and I hurt you, and . . . and . . . and . . .”
She stopped talking, thinking—if she didn’t shut her mouth—she might vent so much woe that she would flood the entire kingdom. She was that forlorn.
She saw now why she’d bothered him. She needed him to fix what was wrong. She couldn’t fathom how to repair it on her own, and he was so strong and capable. He had sturdy shoulders, the kind a woman could lean on when she was alone and in trouble, but he wasn’t interested in being her knight, and she shouldn’t have prevailed on him.
It was the height of presumption for her to have assumed he should oblige her. It had been the problem during their prior amour. She’d viewed him as a sort of toy, a sparkly object she could utilize to entertain herself. The minute he’d become inconvenient, she’d cast him aside.
She yearned to revert to the spot where they’d been previously, to ignore the intervening years, no husband for her, no wife for him. She’d like to forget that she’d tossed him away as if he didn’t matter.
She was so embarrassed, and she would have skirted around him and run off, but before she could move, he pulled her into his arms.
“My poor, poor Margaret,” he murmured. “You’ve always been such a pest, and I can’t ever swat you away.”
“Please forgive me! Let me apologize, and tell me my apology is accepted. Don’t act as if you don’t know me.”
“I can’t act that way.”
“Neither can I,” she wailed quite miserably.
He laughed, sounding miserable too, then he was kissing her and kissing her. She was cradled to his broad chest, and her body relaxed against him, and for the first time in over a decade, she felt safe and cherished.
She couldn’t guess how long they continued, but it was long enough that the sun set and dusk arrived. They didn’t chat, didn’t pause to consider their wild conduct. They simply held each other like survivors of a shipwreck.
Finally, one of his boys called, “Pa! Where are you? It’s late.”
He drew away and chuckled. “It’s been difficult for them since their mother passed away. They can’t bear to be parted from me.”
“I’m sure you’re the best father ever.”
“I have to get back. Will you come with me?”
She stared at the manor, where lamps were being lit. “I probably shouldn’t. I’m a distraught mess, and your sons would realize I’ve been crying. I would hate to have to explain why I’m so sad.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He squeezed her hand. “Maybe you could join us for supper.”
“I can’t wait until evening. I’ll be too impatient. I’ll visit the stables in the morning. Early!”
“I’ll look forward to it.”
She gazed up at him. Silhouetted as he was against the lavender sky, he was perfectly magnificent. He delivered another stirring kiss, then he started off.
He hadn’t gone ten steps when he peered over his shoulder and said, “I miss you already.”
She sighed with gladness. “I miss you too.”
She sank down on the bench, feeling relieved, feeling as if something good might happen for a change. With this fabulous turn of events, how could it not?
“Hello, Miss James. Fancy meeting you here.”
“Hello, Captain.”
At encountering him, Joanna’s pulse raced, which was incredibly infuriating. He was intertwined in her life in a manner he shouldn’t be, and she couldn’t keep it from occurring. She could command him to stay away, but he was such a vain oaf. He’d never heed her.
They were in the front foyer of the manor, and they’d bumped into each other as she’d come downstairs from conferring with his sister. He’d insisted she have him apprised whenever she was on the premises, but she’d been debating whether to have him informed.
She’d just decided she wouldn’t have him notified, but he’d appeared. Like magic. Evidently, with Fate observing their antics, there could be no avoiding him.
“What brings you by this time?” he asked. “Are you healing the sick? Performing miracles? Making my footmen fall madly in love with you?”
“I was talking to your sister.”
“How is she?”
“She’s well.”
In Joanna’s view, Margaret was merely grieving and lonely. Her tropical fever could be an annoyance, but it wasn’t critical. Margaret didn’t seem to have any friends, and Joanna popped in often, simply hoping she’d feel less isolated.
“Are you headed home?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“We have guests tonight so I can’t escort you.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to.”
“Will you let me send you in a carriage?”
“No, thank you. It’s much quicker if I go through the woods. If I went in a carriage, it would take forever.”
“I don’t suppose you’d allow me to supply you with a cart and a
