“Thank god,” I reply, collapsing next to her.
I pull her into my arms, holding her much too tightly, but I can’t seem to let go. Not when I came so close to losing her.
Tears spring into my eyes as I study her beautiful face. “I’ve been so foolish, Chloe. You’re all that matters to me. Our future . . . it’s the only thing I care about.” I rub a hand over my face, trying to contain my emotions. “I know I get too caught up in work sometimes, but it’s because I want to lay a good foundation of our life together, for our children . . .”
“Children?” Chloe’s eyes are filled with tears now, too. “You think about our children?”
“Of course,” I say, pressing my forehead against hers. “How could I not want to start a family with you?” I pause, then quickly add, “But I’m not pressuring you. If you don’t want to have kids—”
“Donovan, nothing would make me happier.”
“Really?”
“Yes!” She throws her arms around me and we’re kissing like it’s the only way to breathe.
When we finally come up for air, I feel like I’ve been reborn. Chloe’s eyes are sparkling, and I want to spend the rest of my life making her look at me this way. “I love you, Chloe.”
“I love you too, Donovan.”
A shiver rips through me as I think about just how close I came to losing her. “When I heard the ice cracking . . .”
“I know,” she says, soothing me as she runs her fingers through my hair. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Do you promise?”
She nods. “Just promise me one thing.”
“Anything.”
“That we’ll focus on us more and talk about our future, because I really want one with you.”
“I promise,” I practically sob, pressing my lips to hers over and over. “A future with you is all I want. It’s just . . .”
“What?” she asks, her eyes so vibrant with life I find myself weeping again.
Chloe’s hands gently cup my cheeks as she kisses away my tears.
“I’m sorry,” I say, when I find my voice again. “I know I’ve been so focused on the wrong parts of our future. I know the money and success we leave our children isn’t the important part. It’s the love.”
Chloe nods and waits for me to continue, but choosing the right words is difficult. I don’t know how to make her understand that I love her more than I’ve loved anyone in my life and that feeling is crippling.
It’s my turn to take her face in my hands. I want her to understand me. “Sometimes it’s still hard for me to feel I deserve more . . . What I have with you now, it’s everything, Chloe. Just getting to spend the day with you . . . It feels so perfect that I feel selfish asking for more.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, of course I want to marry you and have babies with you. But I think . . . I think I’m hesitant to speak my hopes for our future out loud because my life with you is already so much better than I ever dreamed it could be. I’m afraid if I ask for too much . . . I’m afraid it’ll all get taken away from me again.”
Chloe presses a kiss to my forehead, wrapping her arms tightly around me. “Donovan, what you went through . . . losing Vivian like that . . . I can’t even begin to imagine what that’s like. But I’m not her and if you keep living in the past we’re never going to have a future.”
“I know.” I rasp out the words, beyond disgusted with myself. “You’re right. I’ll do better, Chloe. You deserve better.”
“It’s not just you, Donovan. I need to do better, too.”
I cock my head in confusion.
“I’ll be better at telling you what I’m thinking so we don’t get to this point ever again.”
I take her hands in mine. “Chloe, that’s what I want. I want to know every thought in that beautiful head of yours. And I promise you, if you confide in me, you’ll want for nothing. Please,” I beg. “Just give me another chance.”
She grins. “I already told you, Donovan. I’m not going anywhere. I love you too damn much.”
I gasp with relief and pull her into my arms. “I love you, Chloe. And I’m so sorry I made you doubt that for even a moment.”
“And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I was feeling sooner. I think we both could’ve avoided a lot of heartache.”
I nod in agreement, but it’s already water under the bridge. Chloe is here, in my arms, still breathing. And somehow, she still loves me. Maybe even more than ever based on the joy sparkling in her beautiful eyes.
“Can we promise to talk about these kinds of things together?” she asks, smiling brightly. “I don’t always know what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours and sometimes that can be scary.”
“From now on I’m your open book, Chloe.”
She giggles “Really?”
“Ask me anything. Do you want to know the names I have picked out for our four kids? Or how about the two dogs we’re going to have? Or the name I want to go by when I get to be a grandpa?”
Chloe has tears in her eyes again, but I know these are from joy. I continue to rattle off all the things I dream of for our future until she’s breathless with laughter. Cradled in my arms she grins up at me. “Donovan, that all sounds wonderful, but I was hoping we’d start with a wedding first.”
“Your wish is my command,” I tease.
I kiss her until my heart feels like it might explode. She’s so much more than I deserve. As I gaze down at her I have an overwhelming urge to make her understand just how much she means to me.
“Chloe, I'm so sorry for making you feel taken for granted. I'm sorry for assuming
