He pushed back his chair with a clatter and jerked to his feet. “I forgot the cookies.”
The last thing Lauren wanted was more food but she let him go, pretending she hadn’t seen the tears in his eyes. She leaned back in her chair, sipping her hot cocoa while he grabbed the plastic container of cookies from the counter. His bootheels clacked on the hardwood as he returned to the table and plopped the container between them.
“Have one.” He dropped into a chair and shoved the container closer. The eyes that met hers were clear and very blue.
Though she knew he’d used the cookies as a distraction, Lauren’s mouth began to water as she gazed at all the varieties. She took a cookie...just to be polite. As she downed a clumsily decorated—yet still delicious— Nutter-Butter-Santa, she waited for Seth to continue his story. She waited. And waited. And waited.
Lauren didn’t relish playing twenty questions but it appeared she had no choice. She wanted to learn more about Seth’s wife. Not because she was nosy, but because losing a mother at such a young age was hard on a child. Understanding the dynamics of the family relationship would help her better meet Ivy’s needs. Okay, and maybe assuage her curiosity at the same time.
“Did you two go to the same college?” Anna had told her Seth had graduated from Central Montana University in Bozeman.
“Jan didn’t attend college,” he replied.
Lauren quirked a brow.
“Higher education wasn’t her thing.” Seth shrugged. “She was smart, but it was things around the house that interested her.”
There were lots of arguments Lauren could have used, even the simple “education for the sake of education,” but she stifled the urge. Why Jan had chosen not to pursue a degree was none of Lauren’s business. “If she didn’t go to college, what did she do after high school?”
“She worked at Millsteads’ dude ranch.” Seth’s eyes took on a distant glow. “Jan was quite the history buff. She made meals for the tourists the old-fashioned way, in those big cast-iron skillets. Taught them how to make bread and soap the way the settlers did in the 1870s.”
Lauren heard the pride in his voice, saw it in his eyes. “Sounds like an incredible woman.”
“Jan always knew exactly what she wanted out of life.” A smile lifted the corners of Seth’s lips. “She was a great wife and mother.”
Lauren felt a twinge of envy. The more he shared, the more it became clear that if Seth ever remarried that woman would have some pretty big shoes to fill.
“I’m not saying she was perfect,” Seth added as if he could read her thoughts. “The fact that she always knew what she wanted sometimes made it hard for her to understand those of us who weren’t so sure.”
Lauren’s ears pricked up. Seth had experienced career indecision?
“I struggled with what I wanted to be when I was growing up,” Lauren said as she drew an imaginary figure eight on the tabletop with her finger, remembering the strained silence that would fill the house whenever she suggested something that didn’t meet with her parents’ approval. “I remember one time...I mentioned to my father I was considering getting a business degree and going into market research. He didn’t speak to me for days.”
“Yeah, right. No one would—” Seth stopped. “You’re serious.”
Lauren nodded.
“No offense to your dad, but what’s wrong with that career?”
“Not prestigious enough. My father is a world- renowned mathematician. To him, market research is more art than science,” Lauren said. “More important, it wasn’t a field he’d chosen for me. Right off that made it unacceptable.”
“Nice guy.”
“I ended up falling in love with psychology. He liked that even less, but I let him rant.” Lauren smiled. “What about your parents? Would they have been okay with you becoming something other than a rancher?”
Seth thought for a moment. “I think so.”
“Ranching was in your blood.” Lauren kept her tone light. “Right?”
“The land, this part of the country, is a part of me. I struggled with the expectation that I would become a full-time rancher.” The distant look returned to Seth’s eyes. “From the time I was Ivy’s age, I wanted to be a large-animal vet.”
“Why didn’t you do it?” Responding to the passion in his voice, Lauren pushed her cup aside. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table.
“I was actually in my third year of vet school when my father started having health issues. Then he and my mother decided to move to Florida right around the time Jan discovered she was pregnant. It was clear my place was here, not in Bozeman.”
“I didn’t know you were married in college.” Lauren wondered how she could have missed that part of the story.
“We were dating but not married.” Seth’s voice was even and well controlled. His expression gave nothing away. “Jan had some health concerns early in the pregnancy. She wasn’t keen on being away from her folks. When my parents decided to relocate, it made sense for me to move back.”
“You only had a year left.” Lauren did her best to hide her shock. “You gave up your dream when you were so close.”
“I suppose that’s one way to look at it.” Seth shrugged. “I prefer to view it as trading one dream for another. Jan and Ivy and the land were what I wanted, too.”
Lauren stared in amazement. There wasn’t an ounce of bitterness or regret in Seth’s voice. Jan had been one lucky woman.
“Enough about me.” Seth lifted a hand in a dismissive wave. ‘Tell me about you.”
Though she’d barely scratched the surface on what made Seth tick, his tone made it clear he wouldn’t welcome any more questions about himself. She got the distinct impression he regretted saying as much as he had.
“Not much
