Lying to herself had become a pattern. She’d told herself she didn’t need or want more than she’d been given. But she did. She wanted a man who would love her mind as much as he loved her body. She wanted a man who would be her best friend. She wanted a man willing and able to commit to her one hundred percent. If only Seth were free to love me. If only—
She slammed the door shut on the pointless wishing. Wishing things were different didn’t change the reality. There was no room in Seth’s life for her. Whether they matched or not was a moot point.
Lauren strolled over to the nearest wastebasket and dropped in the envelope.
Chapter Seventeen
Lauren stood on the porch and breathed in the fresh Montana air. For mid-January, a sunny day in the upper-fifties was practically balmy. She’d done a few chores after Kim had left. Then, feeling restless, had taken a stroll around the yard. She’d asked Ivy if she wanted to come outside, but Ivy had moved from her homework to teaching Bailey some special “super-duper” trick as a welcome-home surprise for Seth.
Lifting her face to the sun, Lauren reveled in the warmth against her cheeks. She wasn’t sure how long she stood there. Only that the sound of an engine snapped her to attention.
A bright red pickup rounded the curve in the driveway, and Lauren’s heart gave a leap. She opened the front door. “Ivy, your daddy’s home.”
“Don’t let him come inside,” Ivy called back, her voice filled with panic. “Bailey’s not cooperating.”
“I’ll stall,” Lauren promised. She shut the door and returned to the front rail, trying to still the excitement rising inside her.
The truck pulled to a stop and Seth stepped out. He wore her favorite shirt—the one Anna had given him for his birthday. The one that made his eyes look as blue as the ocean.
Lauren was seized with the sudden urge to run to him, like a heroine from an old-time movie when her husband comes home from war. But he wasn’t her husband. He wasn’t even her boyfriend. Still, he was home and she couldn’t stop joy from sluicing through her veins.
Seth ambled up the walk, the sun highlighting the gold in his hair, those gorgeous eyes focused directly on her. He paused at the bottom of the steps. “Hello, Lauren.”
Her cheeks heated under the intensity of his gaze. “Hello, Seth.”
Keeping his gaze firmly on her face, he climbed the steps. In seconds he stood an arm’s length away, close enough to touch but not touching. “Where’s Ivy?”
“Your little dog trainer is inside showing Bailey a new trick. Shh.” She touched a finger to her lips. “It’s a surprise.”
He took a step closer, his gaze lingering on her lips. “Discretion is my middle name.”
The air sizzled with electricity. Her knees turned to jelly and she tightened her fingers around the porch rail for support.
“I missed you,” he murmured. “God, how I missed you.”
The words seemed to come out of nowhere. For a second she wondered if she’d only imagined them. Until she saw the look in his eyes.
“I missed you, too.” The admission flowed from her heart. In a matter of days she’d be gone. Nothing was going to change that outcome. But for these few fleeting moments she would be honest. With him. With herself. “I felt as if part of me was missing. I know it sounds silly...”
“Not silly at all,” he said. “I couldn’t wait to get back here. As soon as I finished, I jumped in the truck and headed home.”
Lauren’s heart skipped a beat. She gestured to the porch swing. “Do you have time to sit for a few minutes? Ivy is working with Bailey on a new trick. She wants him to have it mastered before you come inside.”
“I was hoping we’d have some time alone.” He rocked back on his heels and grinned at her questioning look. “I have something for you. It’s in the truck.”
“For me?” Lauren swallowed against the sudden lump in her throat. She couldn’t remember ever getting a gift for no reason.
“Just a little something I saw in a store and thought you’d like,” he said.
“Well, go get it.” She gave him a little push. “The suspense is killing me.”
Lauren shifted from one foot to the other, watching his every step. When he reached into the truck and pulled out a yellow plastic bag, she narrowed her gaze. What kind of gift came in a grocery bag?
Seth shoved the bag under his arm like it was a football and headed up the walk.
“It’s a belated Christmas present,” he said when he reached the porch.
“You already gave me a Christmas gift.” Lauren held up her arm, the silver bracelet glinting in the sun. “I love it.”
“I think you’ll love this, too. At least I hope you do.”
“I’m sure I will.” Lauren reached for the bag but he tucked it behind his back, out of reach.
“Sit on the swing,” he instructed. “Then close your eyes.”
“If you’re planning on putting on the Santa suit for this, I’m telling you right now, it’s not necessary.”
He laughed and she laughed along with him as they walked to the swing, his hand nearly, but not quite touching hers. The breeze ruffled his hair and carried the scent of his cologne to her. She inhaled deeply, reveling in this perfect moment in time, committing it to memory.
Lauren took a seat on the swing and promptly held out her hand. “Merry belated Christmas to me.”
A smile tugged at the corners of Seth’s lips. “Eyes shut first.”
Lauren did as he’d requested, but as soon as he placed the bag in her
