“Enjoy your morning?” she asked.
“It was nice,” I said. I didn’t want to lie, but I also didn’t want to admit that I had spent the morning frolicking with the man of my dreams. Even if she suspected I’d been with Roki, I doubted she knew exactly where we’d been, considering Roki’s control over the Protectors.
I tried to shift the conversation. “Where’s Papa?”
“Getting our things into the flyrarc.” Then Mama gave me that unimpressed motherly stare. “Where’s your boyfriend?”
There was a touch of sarcasm in her voice that I didn’t like. Mama irked me when it came to Roki. She had forbidden me from seeing him at first, accusing me of bringing shame to our family. Then she had restricted our time together. I had invited him over for dinner, hoping Mama and Papa would get to know Roki and like him as much as I did, but that wasn’t what had happened. My parents had stepped out of the room during the meal, and I had overheard Papa telling her, “Don’t worry, dear. Kaelyn will come to her senses soon enough, and we’ll be rid of the lowborn scoundrel.” The worst part was that Roki had heard it too.
Enough was enough. I said to Mama, “And so what if he is my boyfriend? Would it be so bad for me to date an ordinary boy from Nurlie?”
“Oh, honey,” Mama said, shaking her head sadly. “You are the daughter of Gaard-Ma and Gaard-Elder. Have you forgotten that? As the highest-ranking family of Gaard, we are bound to the moral code of Decens-Lenitas. We are role models. We must marry people who are like us. I’m sorry, Kaelyn, but you simply cannot be with someone who doesn’t share our moral code. Why not someone of royal blood from another clan? What about Jaken or his brother, Zawne?”
I was frustrated and angry at having this conversation over and over.
“I don’t want to be with Jaken or Zawne,” I said. “I want to be with Roki.” I stomped my foot, not caring how childish I must have looked. “I don’t care where he’s from or if he doesn’t agree with Decens-Lenitas. What does it mean, anyway, our moral code? Roki has a love for all things living. So what if he doesn’t belong to a royal line? I know he would put his family first. And who cares if he doesn’t believe in lab babies and if he prefers natural births?”
Mama gasped at this. “Family? I had no idea you two were getting so serious.” She stood up straight and said in a domineering tone, “You are not to see him anymore. He believes in natural births? Is he mad?”
“He’s perfect,” I said. My composure was flaking apart. I was so angry with Mama. I spoke without thinking and didn’t care if it got me into trouble. “Roki has my feelings in mind. He took me into the heart of the city today, to the Historical District, where I saw the market reenactment. He did it so I could escape this stuffy place and all your stuffy rules. I don’t want this to be my life!”
Mama’s eyes were wide. She looked mortified.
I kept on in anger. “You’ve never done that for me, taken me out into the city. Not with a chance of your face being on the news.” I made quotation marks in the air and said, “Headline: ‘Gaard-Ma seen with civilians.’” And I scoffed, “No, not with your precious reputation to uphold. You’d never go to where I went today, walking in the street with the people. We are supposed to adhere to the moral code, but why does the moral code need to make us so … so lofty! We should be able to love who we want, go where we want, and do what we want. I hate being trapped in this system!”
A thousand emotions were passing across Mama’s face. As she stood before me, frozen, I wondered what she was thinking, what she was feeling. I hadn’t meant to denounce Decens-Lenitas. I believed wholly in its teachings. The moral code encompassed many things. For example, love for all living things, strength of mind, recognition of the class system and the monarchy, obedience to the Protectors, and outlawry of pregnancies in favor of lab-conceived and lab-grown babies. I just didn’t understand why virtue meant being a snob.
“Kaelyn,” Mama said. She appeared to have composed herself, though I could see a ferocious heat burning underneath her pinched smile. “In time you will come to understand that life is not easy. We must make sacrifices for the greater good, for the good of Gaard and for all of Geniverd. We clan leaders must maintain appearances and marry into other clans with hopes of ascending the throne. The more virtuous in the laws of Decens-Lenitas you are, the higher your chance of being promoted to king or queen. It’s why Raad, now that he has completed his Aska training, is much closer to reaching the throne.”
I couldn’t have cared less about the throne. I was proud of my brother, Raad, and I loved him. Askas were considered to be highly skilled at Decens-Lenitas and at fighting, and so were highly esteemed. A few of them who weren’t heirs were allowed to become engineers after their training, to oversee design blueprints for Protectors. Raad was brave and strong and wise for completing the brutal training, yet I didn’t see what it had to do with Roki. I asked, “Are you upset with me because I haven’t lived up to Raad? I’m not as virtuous or as brave as him. Is that why you torture me like this?”
“Honey …” She shook her head. “Of course, no. I love you both very much. I just don’t want you to waste your life. Look at what
