I started to cry. I had never imagined Zawne could be so icy, so heartless. Yet it was my own fault. I had lusted after two men, and now I was paying the price.
“I didn’t betray you,” I said, but my words came out weak. “I’m not going to see him again. I am yours, Zawne. I am only yours.”
But a part of me wondered, Am I only saying this because Roki turned out to be a scoundrel?
Zawne saw my pain, and his anger faltered. His expression changed to one of compassion. He wasn’t so heartless after all. “We will work it out,” he said, his voice softer. “We are set to be king and queen for the next forty years. We will be together.”
“When?” I asked. I hated how I seemed to be begging my own husband for time together.
“We’ll find opportunities,” he said. He sounded sad, unsure. “We’re both busy between council meetings and visiting Shiol, but we will find time. We’ll find a way.”
Then Zawne left. I was alone, tears spilling onto my untouched meal.
I needed Tissa. I had Nnati available to me every day, since he lived on the other side of VondRust in the advisers’ mansion, but my sister-in-law was on the other side of Gaard, ruling the Ava-Gaard alongside my brother. It had been ages since we’d talked. One night, after a long series of council meetings, while Zawne drifted off to Shiol, I fired up my visin and called Tissa.
“So good to hear from you,” she exclaimed. “It’s been too long. How are things?”
“Things are things,” I said. I was ready to unload. “It’s a bit chaotic. Everyone in the kingdom is waiting for me to rule on Lordin’s commemoration, the monument they want me to approve in the capital. It’s been weeks and I’m still undecided. All I can say is that I’m glad the ex-queen and ex-king are coming home early from Shondur. They decided to live in VondRust, and they’ll be back tomorrow.”
“It’s good to have a confidant,” Tissa said, reminding me of how Roki had been just that before the betrayal. “But why are you so undecided about Lordin?”
I groaned into my visin. How could I possibly explain to Tissa that I was competing for my husband’s love with a dead woman? “It’s complicated,” I said. “I’m just unsure what to do. I don’t know if Lordin really deserves a monument. It doesn’t seem very humble, if you ask me.”
“No,” Tissa said, “it doesn’t. What does Nnati think?”
I laughed. “You know Nnati. He wonders how we can spend all that money on such a thing. He doesn’t think one person deserves to be raised up so high. She was righteous and fluent in Decens-Lenitas, and people all over Geniverd looked up to her, but Nnati questions the morality of the project.”
“As he would,” Tissa said with a smirk. “We’ve always known Nnati thought Lordin was too self-righteous, using her fame to reach for the stars. Sometimes I wonder if he isn’t a secret Gurnot.”
“As if!” I said. “Not in a million years. Besides, Nnati has too much work to be running around with those scoundrels, setting fires and wreaking havoc. Not to mention he’s loyal to me. There’s no doubt about that.”
Tissa nodded her agreement. “No doubt at all.”
“Anyway,” I said, “the clans want a monument, so I suppose I will have to build one. Really, there are too many important things I need to focus on besides Lordin. It’s a relentless barrage of problems here. It seems like everyone has a grudge with everyone else. And Surrvul is always involved in one way or another.”
“It’s the same here, on the other side of Gaard,” Tissa said. “Every day is something new. Raad and I try to deal with the problems as quickly as possible, but even with our council, decisions are tough.”
We both went silent then, letting the gravity of our new appointments weigh upon us.
Then Tissa said, “By the way, I meant to introduce you to Rein and Forschi.” She shifted her visin from her face to her bed, where two big dogs with puffy white coats and little black eyes sat quietly. The dogs lifted their paws and waved at me. They were adorable.
I waved back. “Hello!”
And then Tissa’s face zoomed back in. “Aren’t they just the cutest?” she said. “Raad had them made specifically for me. I got them yesterday. You’d never guess they aren’t real, right? They are smart replicas. They understand everything I say; they can dance; they can cuddle me; they can follow complicated orders. Plus I can turn them off when they get annoying! They don’t even need to use the toilet. I’m supposed to keep them clean, but I just make one of the Protectors do it for me. I really can’t be bothered with cleaning anything but myself.”
“Do people have real pets?” I asked.
“People do, Kaelyn, not nobles. Nobles get smart replicas. They’re better than natural animals, which can be unpredictable and stinky. The last thing I need are muddy paw prints all over the new carpets in our chamber. That would be a disaster, and I simply don’t have time for it.”
Tissa sighed. It was as if the mere notion of a dirty carpet stressed her out. “Things were so much easier, huh,” she said, “back when we worked from our office in the city. Our only concern then was helping the less fortunate. Now a whole new team is running GMAF. I’m ruling over Gaard with your brother while you try to mend the world with Nnati whispering in your ear. Things sure have changed.”
“They sure have,” I said. Things were tough. Even with the Crown of Crowns’ recommendations to guide me, I repeatedly had trouble making firm judgments. I worried that my council was beginning to question my indecision.
I began to ask, “How’s Raa—?” but
