“You can’t threaten me,” Zawne said. “I am your king!”
Raad laughed. “Not if the Gurnots tear you limb from limb. If the fighting keeps up, you know damn well there will be war. If you spit on Kaelyn’s memory now, Gaard will remember. Gaard never forgets.”
Zawne sighed. He seemed stripped of life, empty, like he had been after Lordin’s death. It must have been a crushing blow for him. Both his loves had perished. Zawne was the only human left to carry the secret of Shiol.
“I loved your sister,” Zawne said. “I loved her with all my soul. You and I will work out her burial. I’m sorry to snap at you. It’s just … it’s just so devastating.”
Raad softened. He looked to be holding back tears. “I understand,” he said. “If it wasn’t for my Aska training, I’d be in ruins. I’d be on the floor with a bottle of rum.”
“Me too.”
The two men lingered silently on each other’s screens. The sorrow was full and sweaty, making them appear damp. Zawne surely knew I was a Min, that I wasn’t gone for good. But Raad didn’t. His heart was shattered to pieces.
“There’s something you can do for her,” Raad said to Zawne. “Emell, Lordin’s mother, she murdered Mama. We need an investigation. We must check her alibi, do DNA samples, and review all P2 footage from that day and the previous week. We need proof for an arrest.”
“I’ll handle it,” Zawne said with a sigh. He didn’t seem shocked. I wondered why. Maybe Zawne was too defeated to care.
“I have to go,” Raad said. “Papa is bleeping on the other line. This news will devastate him.”
Oh no, I thought. Not Papa. His heart can’t take it! I feel like such a fool!
Roki took hold of my arm. He had been right. Even without reading my mind, Roki knew my thoughts. “It’ll be okay,” he said. “We’ll find a way to keep you in their lives.”
“How?” I asked. Zawne had ended the call and was lying on his sofa, blinking at the ceiling like a zombie. “Tell me how, Roki. I can’t leave them like this!”
“We’ll have to figure it out later,” he said. “I’m sorry, Kaelyn, but we have a mission to complete. You need to get inside Zawne’s mind while I keep our presence masked. Rummage through his memories. Find the clue.”
“All right,” I said. But I was extremely distraught. Seeing Raad’s teary eyes, hearing him talk about Papa, about my burial—it had jarred me.
I tried to relax. I took a deep breath, stretched out my gift, and drifted into Zawne’s memories.
Chapter 17
A lifetime flashed by, the life of a royal boy grown into a man. I couldn’t slow to watch Zawne’s younger memories. It was as if my instincts had control over my power. They guided me to a dusky night on the beach, Zawne standing before his commander as his Aska training began.
“This is not a physical test,” boomed the authoritative voice of Zawne’s commander, a hulk of a man nearly seven feet tall. “This is not an athletic sprint to the finish line. This is not a day at the beach. This, men, is the greatest battle you will ever wage against your minds.”
The commander, a man named Thun, paused to let the gravity of his words wash over the two dozen men gathered on the dusky shore. “Your mind will tell you to stop. The pain will be severe. The stress, the fatigue, the agony—they will destroy you. Your mind will beg for release. Your body will beg for reprieve. You will have none. The desert will burn you. The starkness of the ocean will swallow you. The traitorous brain in your skull will trick you. There is no way to overcome. Here, there is only suffering. There is only pain. Should you balk beneath it, you will die.”
Thun paused, massive black waves breaking against the shore behind the nervous recruits. The air smelled of seaweed and driftwood. Zawne listened to Thun impassively. He already looked dead, unfearful of any pain, for there could be no pain greater than the loss of love.
“There will be no special treatment here,” Thun said. He was looking at Zawne, at the spoiled prince. “Should you choose to wade into these waters, you will either die or overcome. There is no rescue. Your visins have been deactivated. There will be no calling for help, no food being delivered, no paths to guide you. All you have is your team and your pain. I suggest you embrace them both. Value your teammates, for without them you will die. Value your pain, for if you cannot embrace it, you will die.”
Thun paused, puffed out his chest, and stared into each of the twenty-four recruits’ scared faces. “Some of you are boys. You will probably die. Some of you are men. You, too, will probably die. The sharks will rip you to shreds. The leopards will chew on your bones. The hyenas will laugh at you in the night when you feel most hopeless. Should you give up, you will die of starvation and be stripped bare by the desert winds. Should you somehow make it to Lodden, the training will likely break you.”
“I can’t do it!” screamed one of the men. He dropped to his knees and shrieked, “Let me go home. I don’t want to die here!”
Thun walked to the boy, glared down at him as he groveled in the sand. “Go,” Thun said. “Go home, child. Congratulations, you’ve just cost your team a man.”
The boy ran, scuttled through the sand and vanished into the night.
“Anyone else?” Thun asked. Again he was looking at Zawne. “If anyone wishes to leave, now is the time. Once you set foot in the water, you are beyond my help. You are forsaken to the
