“What happened, your highness?” He asked, placing a bag down beside Chloe and crouching at her feet. His voice was accented, but she understood him well enough. She could have slipped into Ras el Kidan but the language was part of her past – a past she needed to forget.
She stuck to English.
“Nothing, I…”
“She fainted,” Raffa contradicted, coming to stand over them. “And she looks terrible.”
Chloe swept her eyes shut, his assessment no less hurtful for being true.
“Would you mind having the room cleared, sir?” The doctor asked, without looking at Raffa.
Raffa barked a command in Ras el Kidan and the servants disappeared.
Apparently the doctor knew better than to ask Raffa to join them. “Lie down please,” he said gently, arranging a pillow behind Chloe’s head.
“This is silly.”
“Chloe,” Raffa’s voice was thick with torment. “Just do as he says. Please.”
She jerked her eyes to his and felt something pass between them, something she didn’t understand. She’d come to Ras el Kida to mourn the passing of her father-in-law, but also because she wanted to see and support this man, and instead, she’d arrived and brought pain to him, and now she was making trouble when he no doubt had other things to attend to.
“You don’t have to stay,” she said softly, lying back against the pillows.
A muscle jerked in his jaw but he remained resolutely where he was.
“You fainted?” The doctor asked, taking a blood pressure cuff from his bag and wrapping it around her upper arm. It squeezed against her flesh and Chloe stared at the ceiling while it did its job.
“Yeah. But it wasn’t a big deal. Like I said, I hadn’t eaten and…”
“In how long?” The doctor prompted.
“I had an apple this morning. American time.”
The doctor frowned, but it was nothing to the glower or Raffa’s face. “And before that?”
Chloe blinked. “I… can’t remember.”
“Do you make a habit of skipping meals?” The doctor asked, removing the cuff and taking a thermometer from his bag. He placed it under Chloe’s tongue so she shot him a look of pique. He answered with a smile, before removing the thermometer.
“No,” she answered. “I’ve just been…forgetful lately. Out of routine.”
The doctor lifted his gaze to Raffa’s face then returned his attention to Chloe.
“How have you been sleeping?”
She swallowed. “Fine.”
“Chloe?” It was Raffa now, and he crouched down beside her. “Tell the truth.”
How did he know? How did he know that she tossed and turned all night every night, as though each shift might somehow fill the empty, gaping void inside of her?
“Not well,” she answered, staring at the ceiling.
“Is this the first time you’ve fainted?”
“Yes. No. I nearly did when I heard the news about Malik,” she whispered. “I was so surprised. It just hit me that I hadn’t been here…” Her eyes flew to Raffa’s face and she felt a sob welling inside of her. She hadn’t been here for him – she loved him, she loved him with all that she was and she’d walked away from him. She’d done it to protect him, but how she wished she could have comforted him as well!
His eyes met hers for a brief second before jerking away, a muscle throbbing at the base of his jaw.
“Have you been sick at all? Any viruses? Flus? Nausea?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I mean, I don’t feel great a lot of the time at the moment, but I think that’s just because I’m not sleeping well.”
The doctor nodded, but his brows were drawn together.
“Do you mind if I touch you, Chloe?”
“Touch me?”
“I just want to check your abdomen.”
She frowned. “Why?”
“Has it occurred to you that you might be pregnant?”
Beside her, Raffa stilled. And she hated, more than anything, in that moment that she was going to disappoint him. That he had this glimmer of hope, that a baby had been conceived, and she was going to fail him – as always.
“I’m not pregnant,” she said. For all the reasons she’d left him, she still couldn’t reveal the truth about her inability to conceive. He would still feel honour-bound to tear up those divorce papers, and they’d both be locked in a loveless, childless marriage. He deserved so much better than that.
“Let’s just double-check,” the doctor said, and because there was no harm that could come from the inspection, Chloe nodded.
He pressed his fingers against her abdomen, low, and she startled at the feel of another man’s hands on her body. Though his touch was clinical, it was odd to have anyone touching her, besides Raffa.
She knew, without even consciously making the decision, that she would never be with another man again. Not for as long as she lived.
“I thought as much,” the doctor said, a large smile on his face as he stood.
“What is it?” Chloe pushed to sitting.
“You’re about three months along, I’d say. We’ll need to run tests to confirm the date, but there’s no mistaking it. If you were any earlier in the pregnancy, I wouldn’t have been able to feel the baby.”
“No,” Chloe’s denial was instantaneous. She didn’t look at Raffa. “I can’t be. You’re mistaken.”
“Impossible,” the doctor demurred, his smile kindly. “I can feel it for myself.”
“But I…” But what? She’d been so grief-stricken since leaving Ras el Kida, she’d ceased tracking her cycle. It had no longer seemed to matter; she knew she wasn’t pregnant and that she couldn’t become pregnant. So what was the point? Had she menstruated since she’d left?
It was absurd, but Chloe couldn’t recall! Surely there’d been something?
She shook her head; none of this made sense.
“I don’t believe this. It can’t be true.” Chloe dug her fingernails into her palms, her mouth wide open.
And the doctor frowned, a look of confusion on his face. “I take it this isn’t the news you were hoping for?”
Raffa, rendered immobile by the revelation, stood to his feet now. “Thank you, that will be all.”
The doctor’s frown deepened. “I will need to consult further
