“It’s not a lecture,” Walter said. “It’s the truth. You’re making everything worse.”
“In the short-term, yes,” Matt said. “But if I’m able to kill Becca, then no one else has to get hurt unless you want more people to get hurt.”
Matt rose up off the ground, snow flying all about him. His veins turned green.
“There’s a bar down the street with somewhere close to seventy or so people,” Matt said. “If you want, I can threaten to kill all of them unless Becca hands herself over to me.”
“You would kill all of those people,” Walter said. “If you don’t get your way. I thought you were in high school, not a daycare. People don’t always get what they want.”
“What I want is of no concern here,” Matt said. “It is what I need that motivates me, and there’s nothing a person needs more than life.”
As Matt said the words out loud, he realized just how much he believed them. Before, when they had just been lurking under the surface of his mind, he had almost shied away from them. They seemed like bad arguments, bad ways of viewing the world, and he didn’t want to be associated with that kind of thing.
But once he said it out loud, the thoughts crystallized in the reality of Walter’s understanding, and they seemed to make a whole hell of a lot of sense to Matt. All he wanted to do was live, and it didn’t really matter who else might have died because of it.
“I don’t need your pity, Walter,” Matt said. “But I gave you a gift, so I would appreciate it if you would stop getting in my way. You’re not as experienced with your NaUs as Becca is. I could kill you and take your NaUs any time I want. But I don’t want to hurt you, Walter. Only one person needs to die tonight, and you need to stop getting in our way.”
“Your way?” Walter said, “I seriously doubt that Becca is just going to hand herself over.”
“She already has.”
Matt felt movement behind him. He turned.
Becca came at him with swords drawn.
“Matt, leave,” Becca said. “This doesn’t need to get worse than it already is.”
Becca had been so very close to giving up, to finally giving Matt what he wanted. But now her mind was changed. Now when Matt killed her, he would have to feel bad about it.
“Becca,” Matt said. “If you could just stop, that would be great.”
“I can’t do that, Matt,” Becca said. “No more than you, yourself, can.”
“I can take on both of you,” Matt said. “It won’t be easy, but I can do it.”
For a moment, no one spoke, all looking at one another. Down the street, people were looking their way. They couldn’t see much, but even the smallest slice of what they might have been able to see would be enough to warrant their attention. Why were they making this so hard? It could have been so easy if they just stopped fighting. Enough fighting had happened over these last few days for Matt’s liking. He just wanted to take what he needed and leave. He’d live out in the mountains somewhere, living off of the land, not being a burden to anyone. He might even return home, but once the police came to ask where his two fathers and cancerous mother went, along with all his friends, then he would have to leave.
He couldn’t have a life with Jolie anymore. She had died for him, and mostly because of him. If she hadn’t ever met Matt, if their two lines of time had crossed but not wrapped around one another, then she wouldn’t have been there that night. She wouldn’t have been infected by the NaU. She would still be living, away from him, and happier because of it. Anyone who ever got close to Matt always ended up worse.
Hell, his father reportedly didn’t start drinking until after his son needed a wheelchair. There were dark thoughts Matt had had all through his life. If he had been born normal, would his parents have stayed together? He wasn’t the major reason for them splitting; he knew that for sure, but he was part of the problem, and a pretty sizable one at that. It’s a little hard to try and make your relationship with your spouse better if you also have to deal with a disabled kid. He hated that word, hated all of the connotations that went along with it, hated when people thought of him as such. But it’s often best to call a spade a spade and then move on to the next thing. Everyone who ever tried to help him was dead now. He didn’t have anyone to go back to.
Neither does your sister, a voice in his mind told him, sounding close to that of Jolie’s. Matt often wondered if taking the NaUs of people also brought a little bit of their own personality with them. He hadn’t thought much about his mom until after he took her NaU, and he hadn’t felt bad for Kent since after taking his NaU. Kent was a special case, though, since Matt had killed the boy, after all, in rather specular fashion, if he was brazen enough to call it that. He didn’t hesitate, even though he wasn’t a hundred percent sure that Kent had wanted to die right then. But the majority of people don’t want to die. He could have done it for Becca a few minutes ago. Then she could have died, and everything would have been fine.
But then Walter had to intervene.
“I’m starting to regret helping you,” he said.
Walter chuckled.
“I might not be up to date with your new way of talking,” Walter said.
