“Oh my God, hello?” She answered with an anxious tone.
“Hi Reagan,” I replied, my voice sort of cracking.
“You have no idea how good it feels to hear your voice.” She said. I could picture her with tears in her eyes. There was some silence for a second. I had no idea what to even say to my best friend and that was a first.
“So how are you feeling? I missed you so much; I’m sure you saw I texted you like seven hundred times.”
“Yes, I did see,” I replied. “I’m glad to know you didn’t forget about me.”
“I would never Sutton,” she said quietly.
“So what have I missed?” I asked matter of fact.
“Well, Shane hasn’t been the same. He blames himself for this and he really has been a wreck. He’s actually been talking about joining the military. He cut all his hair off and has a crew cut! Can you believe that? I’m coming. I’m gonna come see you.”
I felt a knot rising in my throat. My cheeks were hot and I was trying to resist the urge to cry. I just felt depressed and not like myself.
“Tell Shane none of this was his fault. Things just happen sometimes. Maybe you just want to come see me when I’m home?” I asked. “We can facetime every day now that I have my phone back,” I said, doing my absolute best to swallow the knot in my throat.
“Okay, Sutton. Whatever is best for you. Just let me know when you’re getting out and I’ll be there waiting at the hospital doors.” I laughed.
“I love you Reagan; just a lot going on.”
“I’m sure.” She replied.
“Did anyone tell you about Luke?” I asked. My heart skipped a beat as I said his name.
“A little bit.” She answered flatly, probably unsure of what to say.
“I don’t know Reagan, I'm not crazy. I swear I’m not. But it’s like I’m just so confused because everything just felt so real. I can tell you details about him and the things we did.”
“I believe you Sutton,” She replied. I wasn’t sure whether she actually did or not but I appreciated her support.
“I wish I understood any of this,” I said with a sigh.
..
“Great job Sutton. That’s ten laps. You beat your record.” Sarah, my physical therapist lifted up her hand to give me a high five. It had been two weeks since I had woken up from my coma and I was feeling great. Dr. Grebs had been monitoring me and I had sessions with Dr. Weston a few times a week.
I mostly felt normal since waking up except for being so easily exhausted. I was also still confused about everything. I did my best to just live in the moment, but part of my treatment with Dr. Weston included talking through my unconscious thoughts about Luke. He hadn’t come to see me since I had woken up but I didn’t ask about it much. My biggest goal was to just get out of the hospital and get back to my life.
“So Sutton, your homework to complete before the next session is to make a timeline of the events that you remember occurring while you were actually in the coma. We’re going to go over it and make a timeline of what actually was occurring. I want us to try to recognize any relationship that may be connecting the two timelines.” I sighed out loud. “Is something wrong?” Dr. Weston asked.
“I’ve just been doing my best not to think about Luke or anything I thought happened because none of it is real.”
“Hmmm.” Dr. Weston replied, rubbing his hands over his scruffy beard. “I don’t think suppressing the events whether they’re real or not will be beneficial to you. Yes, it’s important to recognize what is fiction and what actually occurred but talking through everything is essential to your recovery. Do you agree?” I nodded.
“Yes, you’re right. Thank you, Dr. Weston.” I replied, exiting his office and making my way into the hallway where a nurse was waiting to escort me back to my room. I knew Dr. Weston was right but I was still dreading this assignment.
The next day I sat in my bed with my desk pulled up to me. I looked at the memory game that sat in front of me. I had been playing it nonstop probably more than I ever had as a kid. I tossed it aside and sat staring at a blank sheet of notebook paper in front of me.
It brought me back to a few weeks ago when they asked me to attempt to write again. I was thinking it would be a breeze but my hand felt weak and shook as I wrote. My lettering looked like a five-year-old had written it. I was horrified. It was the same thing when I attempted to walk. I needed a walker at first. It was almost as if I had to start over. The doctors had let me know my body just needed to make connections again and it would heal and he was right. In two short weeks, I was doing much better than before.
“Whatcha doing?” Gia asked, jumping onto my bed and bringing me back to reality.
“Oh. Hi G. I have to make a timeline of the things I remember happening for my homework.” Gia nodded.
“Well if you want I can draw pictures after to make it a really great timeline?” She shot me a big smile. I put my hand on hers.
“I would love that. Where’s mom and dad?” Gia shrugged.
“You know talking to doctors or something. Who knows.” I laughed.
I started out by creating a list of everything I could remember:
Locking eyes with Luke on the boardwalk
Reagan and Shane come visit (night of accident)
