“I won’t be playing it for the managers at the two clubs in town. That’s up to you to decide.” She chuckled. “My personal use only.”
“Fine,” he said with a dismissive wave.
“But you could consider selling something like this,” she said. “I know you don’t want to do that YouTube thing, but I think there’s a lot of room for somebody as talented as you are.”
“Well, so says you,” he said with a gentle smile. “The thing about musicians is that it’s really hard to stand out. There are just so many of us, and some are truly gifted,” he said. “It’s a sea of voices, and you’re trying to be the one who gets heard,” he said. “It doesn’t really work too well for most.”
“So you say,” she said because, inside, she couldn’t imagine anybody not clamoring to hear his music. Especially with the emotions he poured into it. “Tonight you were truly brilliant.”
Lance remembered Jessica’s words over the next couple days, and they put a little spring in his step and a smile on his face.
Even Shane commented on it. “Man, you had the place in tears the other night,” he said.
“Not sure that’s a good thing, is it?” Lance said. “Considering most of them already have experienced some pretty difficult traumas in their lives.”
“True,” Shane said, “but everybody needs an outlet for their feelings too.”
“I wasn’t thinking of that,” he said.
“Nope, we rarely do,” he said. “Now that you’re heading into your last couple months, from what I can see, how are you feeling about your progress?”
“Considering that I didn’t really see any potential for much progress,” he said, “I can’t believe how strong and vibrant I feel now.”
“Inside and out?”
“Inside and out,” he said. “And honestly, I think the music is responsible for a lot of that inside.”
“And once the inside fires up,” Shane said, “it’s like you can’t do anything but keep the outside going too,” he said. “Once you got music back into your life, your progress moved in leaps and bounds.”
“It feels wonderful,” he said. “I still haven’t figured out what to do with my life, but you know what? I’m not sure that I have to do very much either.”
“Good point,” Shane said. “Too often everybody thinks they have to get a nine-to-five job, but I’m not sure that’s true in your case, is it?”
Lance shook his head. “No, it isn’t. I do have some income,” he said. “It’s not exactly enough to buy a house and to raise a family, but I might just take a few months and see about writing some of the songs that are in my soul,” he confessed. “Since I’ve started feeling better,” he said, “I’ve gotten back to writing.”
“I didn’t even know you wrote songs too,” Shane said in surprise. “If you can pack as much emotion into those songs as you did into Saturday night’s performance,” he said, “they are bound to be a big hit.”
“There might be a big hit among them,” he said, “but in this world nobody can hear you because so many other great musicians are out there.”
“Maybe,” Shane said, “but there’s also an awful lot of recording contracts for talented souls,” he said. “I think that anytime somebody’s really good, an avenue is out there for him to be heard.”
“I could always give lessons,” he said and then made a face. “But that really doesn’t have much appeal at this point.”
“How about just playing at weddings and stuff?”
“That doesn’t appeal either,” he said. “Maybe bars again though.” Then he mentioned the email that Jessica had brought him a couple weeks earlier, if not a month ago by now.
“That might be a great idea,” Shane said. “If you can get by with working a couple nights a week, and that’s enough to tide you over for now,” he said, “why not? One of the things I’d like to see in your life is to avoid the heavy stress load that you used to have,” he said. “Nothing sets someone back further than that kind of stress. I’ve seen it bring the healing to a complete stop.”
“I hear you,” Lance said, “and that was something I was just considering.”
“You need to figure out what you’ll do when you’re done here,” he said, “so you have a place to go. That’s a part of the exit planning. It doesn’t have to be a forever plan but should offer a solid transition that is good for several months at least.”
“I know,” he said. “I just haven’t managed to get to town to figure out the housing element.”
“Talk to Dani about it,” he said. “Nobody here does the transition without her help,” Shane said in a serious tone. “The fact that you’re even looking at a transition is huge, and I’m not saying it’ll be a month from now because I don’t know where the rest of your team is at,” he said. “But I am telling you that I hope to get you to that 100 percent by the end of the month.”
“Except I’m looking for that one-twenty,” he said.
Shane grinned. “That’s all right,” he said, “and, if you reach for that same 120 percent in your music,” he said, “you’ll go very far.”
“I’m not even looking to go far,” he said. “I think I’m looking to write the music of my heart and to maybe use that to heal the rest of me,” he said.
“Go for it,” Shane said. “I can’t imagine anything better for you.”
Chapter 16
Two days later, on Friday, Lance asked her a question that really surprised her.
“Where do you live?”
“I’ve been living at Hathaway House,” she said, “though that won’t be for much longer though.”
“Why is that?” he asked, looking at her in surprise. “You’re moving?”
“It was supposed to be temporary, just to get settled,” she said, “and the temporary turned to all this time. I should be heading back into town, where I can carve out more
