When her eyes closed and her mouth opened into an O, he felt her tighten around him, her nails biting his skin. He thrust hard, and she cried out, her legs coming up around his hips. He took her mouth, waiting to taste her pleasure, and the sensation sent him with her. With one last drive forward, he lost his mind.
Ryan collapsed next to her. He shifted slightly, but he didn’t pull out. He wasn’t ready to break the bond between them. Her arms came around him and held on tightly, as if she, too, wanted to stay that way. They lay locked together, the room silent except for the sound of their heavy breathing and the humming air conditioner. When Bailey relaxed, so did he, leaning back to look at her face. The afterglow face. He smiled. Duly noted. Then he pushed the hair off her cheek and kissed her slowly.
She shifted and focused her eyes on his face. “This is so surreal.”
“I know.”
She grew quiet. Ryan wasn’t sure how he felt about that, and he wondered what she thought of his broken promise. He couldn’t continue to pretend his feelings hadn’t changed for her, but maybe he shouldn’t have told her that yet. The fact was, his feelings hadn’t changed. Deep down, he had always wanted her. He had always loved her.
“I’m a little afraid,” he said into the silence, the admission relieving some of his anxiety.
“What are you afraid of?”
“Honestly, a lot of things.” He shifted and pulled the sheet over them.
She propped herself up on her elbow and said, “Tell me.”
How could he admit his feelings for her, after all this time? Years of loving her and wanting her, kept in the closet. He was as bad as Helen for lying to her. Would she understand or be angry about the last few weeks?
He lifted his hand into a shrug then dropped it. “What do you want me to say?”
She pushed off the mattress to sit up. “This isn’t about what I want you to say. It’s about what you need to say.”
When she turned to place her feet on the floor, he reached out for her. “You know I’m having trouble with this.”
“Just start talking.”
“I don’t want to lose you. I want to—I don’t know—move forward.” He glared at her. “I want this, but, like you, I also don’t want things to change. I don’t want to lose you, Bailey.”
She didn’t laugh, but he could tell she wanted to. “All those beautiful lyrics you write for strangers in the club, and yet you have so much trouble expressing yourself to me?”
“I’ve written plenty of beautiful lyrics for you—not for strangers.”
She rested back and closed her eyes. “I know that now. I’m sorry I didn’t recognize it before.”
He pulled her close. “I’m sorry I didn’t come clean sooner. I don’t want to lose you.”
“So here we are, both fighting each other for the same thing, yet also fearing the same thing.”
“Yeah…” He grinned. “So we’re both idiots.”
Bailey chuckled. “We really need to learn better communication skills.” She cuddled closer, and he was so thankful to be there with her. They hadn’t completely cleared the air, but he knew they would. They had time, lots of time.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
On Tuesday, Bailey received a phone call from Agent Sharpe from the Sacramento FBI office. He had an opening for the next day and hoped Bailey could come in a few days early to take care of the DNA swab.
Of course, Bailey jumped at the offer, but now that she and Ryan were sitting in the waiting room, staring at the ugly gray carpet, she wasn’t so sure how she felt. Her stomach rolled a little, but she wasn’t sure if that was from what she was about to do or the thought of what could result from it. She wanted to know where she came from, but what if she received horrible news? Even as detached as she was from her birth parents, she wasn’t sure how she’d feel about bad news.
Ryan reached for her hand and said, “It’s okay to be nervous. I know this is hard, but I’m here for you.”
Bailey nodded, afraid to open her mouth for fear she’d throw up.
She wasn’t sure how long she waited, not long, maybe even just seconds before a tall African American man in a dark blue suit approached. She cleared her throat, and both she and Ryan stood.
“Ms. Morton?”
She tried to smile as she held her hand out to shake his. “Yes, hello.” His handshake was firm. He was a big guy, intimidating, but he had kind eyes and a deep, soothing voice. That helped settle her nerves a little. “This is my friend, Ryan Walker.”
Ryan shook hands with Agent Sharpe.
Sharpe turned and started walking and talking at the same time. “I had a long conversation with Chief Harper. He told me the situation. I hope we can help you find what you’re looking for.” Sharpe walked into a small conference room and waved his hands at two chairs on the opposite side. “We need to hold an informal interview, and then we’ll send you down to the lab for some samples.”
“Thank you for taking the time to meet with us,” Bailey said.
He gave her a broad smile. “Ms. Morton, it’s not often I get to investigate live missing people in our database. Usually, I’m dealing with distraught parents and human remains. Trust me when I say it’s my pleasure to help you.”
Bailey had to swallow back the sick feeling building in the back of her throat. Ryan reached for her hand, and she let him take it. She squeezed it, trying to focus on him and not her queasy stomach.
Agent Sharpe must have recognized the look in her eyes because he followed his smile up with a frown and
