Bailey had talked a little about her feelings, and Ryan was grateful for every word, especially since he was having trouble with his own. Not that she didn’t understand how much he loved and cared for her, but it was impossible to express his fear, worry, and sudden relief over the past few days. He wasn’t sure she would ever fully grasp it, but that didn’t matter because, ultimately, what she had been through was markedly worse, and he understood that.
For now, all Bailey wanted was to go home. She’d made that clear. She felt uncomfortable in her own skin and wanted to be in familiar surroundings and back to her normal routine.
Mae and Lucas tried to convince them to stay somewhere else for the next week or so. “Bailey, the press won’t give you a moment of peace. They’re talking about this every hour on the hour,” Vince said.
“He’s right, and I don’t think that’s the best thing for you right now.” Mae reached out for her hand. “Why don’t you and Ryan get a vacation rental for a couple of weeks? And if not, stay in the house with Wade and Lucas.”
“I’m sorry, but for me to heal, I need to be home.”
Lucas sighed and leaned forward. “They know where you live and where you work. You won’t be able to get away from them.”
“They’ll eventually get bored and go away.” She closed her eyes and exhaled heavily. “I wish I could help you understand. I just want to be home.” When she said it, the corners of her mouth pointed into a frown, and Ryan thought she was going to cry, but she shook it off and looked back up. “I’m sorry.”
Ryan stared at her for a long moment. “Don’t apologize, Bay. Everyone understands. We can deal with the press. It’s nothing compared to what we’ve all been through already. But know this, by home, I hope you’re referring to the house, because I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I want. To be home with you.”
Mae shrugged and said, “That house is big enough for all of us.”
Bailey looked over at her. “What do you mean?”
“I mean Lucas and I will stay there, too. We’ll be able to help you…and we’ll both feel better about it.” She gave Bailey an exaggerated grin. “You’ll be home healing, and we’ll all be there to help you.”
* * *
Lucas and Mae did as promised and stayed at the house with them, and Bailey was thankful for it, and for them. She felt a little guilty for being so persistent, but if there was ever a time for her to be selfish, this was it. She had been through a horrible experience, but she wouldn’t let it define her. She’d get her full life back. She would spend as much time with Ryan as she could, and she’d work on their relationship. She would also return to the shop and go back to working on the books for El Lago. All these things were not only her responsibility, they were what she wanted. All of it. She wanted everything, and she’d been on the cusp of having it all when Dex knocked her unconscious and took her on that boat ride.
She would get it all back.
Ryan helped her up the stairs and steered her to his room. She lay down on his bed with a little help, and when she was comfortable, she patted the bed next to her.
Lucas, taking the hint, excused himself. “Mae’s bringing some clothes from your apartment. She’ll be here in an hour or so. I’m going to go start dinner.” He gestured toward downstairs. “Yell for me if you need anything.”
“Lucas, I can’t tell you how grateful I am—”
He held up his hand. “Stop. You don’t have to. We’re family, we love you, and we take care of our own.”
She nodded and blinked back tears as he left the room, closing the door behind him.
“He’s right, you know,” Ryan said.
She turned to face him. “I know.” She scooted down, getting nose to nose. “This,” she said, hoping he could feel her sincerity. “This is all I’ve wanted.”
He leaned forward and placed a hand on her cheek. “I love you.”
She closed her eyes, and a single tear slipped from under her lid. “I love you—”
“Shh…let me finish.”
She opened her eyes and met his.
“You’re everything to me. I’d give everything I have, everything in my life for you. I love you with every fiber of my being, and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to tell you. I’m so sorry I wasted so much time. We should’ve started sharing our lives a long time ago. But…” His voice wavered, so he waited a beat then said, “I promise I won’t waste another day. I know what I want, and it’s you.”
“I won’t waste another day either. I promise.”
He kissed her gently, and Bailey felt his promise in every touch and every breath.
“What if this isn’t over, Ryan?”
“Babe, you have to stop worrying about those tests. It’s just a precaution. You don’t have HIV or Hep C.”
“But I could.” She lifted to sit up. “It’s a possibility, and that possibility could change everything between us.”
Ryan sat up to face her. “It changes nothing.” When their eyes met, he waved a hand at her. “Okay, worst-case scenario, we use condoms for the next six months. It’s not a big deal.”
“Unless I actually contracted something,” she said earnestly.
Ryan lowered his eyes, and, at the same time, grabbed her hand. “Let’s not worry about things we can’t change, okay? If that happens, we’ll deal with it. For now, let’s just try for something normal. I want you to feel better, and if you spend the next six months worrying over this, you’re giving Dex more power over your life.”
“Okay. I’ll try to stop worrying about it.” She rested back on the bed and curled up with him. They
