She sat and reached for the advertisements in the morning paper. “I feel bad for taking Ryan’s bed. I guess he’s on the couch.”
“Don’t feel bad,” Ryan said, stepping into the kitchen. He was shirtless and still in his jeans. Long ends of messy, brown hair curled out from under a knit beanie. He wasn’t covered in tattoos, but he had plenty. The most remarkable one was probably the eagle across his upper abs with its wings spread wide and wing tips wrapping around to his back. He had his mom’s name and a beautiful, artful rose over his heart. When he turned toward the coffee pot to pour a cup, she glimpsed the tattoo between his shoulder blades. The original song lyric stood out on his sun-kissed skin: live who you are and you’ll miss nothing
With all of Ryan’s tattoos, she loved this one the most. It was Ryan to the core. He knew exactly what he wanted and what he didn’t. Ryan’s personality was somewhere in between Wade and Lucas. He was a player with the ladies, but not quite as bad as Wade. While Ryan enjoyed women, and he did plenty of sleeping around, Bailey thought it had more to do with his fear of commitment. He liked having someone to hang out with, but he never, ever committed himself to a relationship.
When Ryan smiled at Bailey, his hazel eyes looked glassy and tired.
“Good morning,” Bailey said.
Wade stood and said, “I’m outta here. I got a hot date with a beer cooler, a fishing pole, and my boat.”
When Wade was gone, Bailey, Lucas, and Ryan had breakfast together, although she hardly ate, her stomach felt uneasy after all the tequila she drank the night before.
“How’re you feeling?” Ryan asked as she pushed the potatoes around on her plate.
“I’m…” She nodded, not meeting his gaze. “Doing okay.”
“Headache? I have some aspirin.”
“Not too bad. The coffee helped. Did you sleep okay on the couch?”
“Yeah, it was fine. How ‘bout you?”
She smiled. “You changed the sheets. Thank you. That wasn’t necessary. I would’ve slept fine either way.”
“No, you wouldn’t. I know how you are. You didn’t clean my room again, did you?”
Bailey chuckled. “No, not really.” She met his bright, hazel eyes. “Did you help me undress last night?”
He looked startled. “No, I left you in your dress. I figured it was the same as sleeping in a nightgown. Why?”
She waved her hand. “Never mind. I must’ve taken it off myself.”
Ryan smirked. “You really don’t remember anything, do you?”
“Shut up,” she said, making Lucas laugh at her. Bailey brought her hand to her face. “I remember most of the night, but just in case, I wanted to make sure I went to bed alone…and clothed.”
“You did,” he said, peering at her from over his coffee mug. “Are you sure you’re okay? You can go back to bed. I don’t mind if you—”
She waved a dismissive hand. “I’m fine. I need to get home and clean up so I can go work on the house.”
“What time should I be there?”
“I’m available, too,” Lucas said and stood to place the dishes in the sink. “I don’t have any plans today.”
“I can’t ask you guys to give up your Saturday to help me clean out Mom’s house.”
“Shut up. What time?” Ryan said.
Bailey could always rely on her friends. She knew that, but she still felt like she’d lost her footing, as if a rug had been pulled out from under her. Her lack of extended family had always made her lonely when hearing about other people’s large families, but now, without her mother, it seemed to emphasize how pathetic it all was. Everything seemed less sweet without her. Now that she didn’t have her mom, the world was gray when it used to be in technicolor.
Watching Ryan finish his breakfast, she realized her world wasn’t completely gray. She still had some color; it was just a little faded. Ryan had the broadest smile. It took over his face and shined in his eyes when it was sincere. She missed that and his light heart almost as much as she missed her mom. When she looked at him, the sadness reflected back at her was a reminder of their loss.
“I was thinking”—she looked at the clock on the microwave—“afternoon. Maybe around one? Is that okay?”
They both nodded. “It’s fine, Bay,” Ryan said.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”
He shrugged. “You’ll never have to know.”
Bailey was reminded of the conversation she and Mae had about Ryan promising her mother he’d watch out for her. At least the entire night wasn’t a loss. She remembered some of it. “You know, Ryan, you don’t owe Mom anything.”
He knitted his brow. “I’m not sure why you just said that, but, yes, I do. I owe Helen my life. I would never have made it through school without her, and you, too, for that matter.”
Bailey stuck her chin out. “Well, I’m okay, and I’ll make it through this just fine.”
“I know you will.”
As if uncomfortable with the conversation, Lucas stood and laid his empty plate in the sink. “Ryan, I cooked, so you get the dishes. I’ll see you guys around one.”
“Bye, Lucas. Thanks for breakfast,” Bailey said.
He squeezed her shoulder. “My pleasure. See you.”
Ryan waited until Lucas was gone before saying, “Why are you trying to reassure me that you’re okay? I already know that. I’m not worried.”
“You’re a bad liar. I know you’re worried.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Mae told me you promised Mom you’d look after me.”
“Bay, do you think I need a promise to do that? I’ve always looked out for you, and you’ve always looked out for me. I told Helen what she needed to hear so she’d rest easy, but I’m here for you regardless.”
Bailey nodded, holding her breath until she knew she could talk without crying. “This must be hard for you, too. It has to feel like losing a second mother.”
He shook his head
