Anne nodded as everything sank in. “I understand Rainy. It isn’t fair, but I get it.”
Rainy smiled. “Come on, let’s go home.”
***
Rainy pressed a kiss against her son’s forehead where he slept on her bed. “Dad you didn’t have to wait up?” she whispered smiling at her father who sat in an old rocking chair by the window.
“Your mother was asleep as soon as Lucas lay down beside her. I figured it would be better to bring him over here once he was asleep, so you wouldn’t need to come to get him.”
“Thanks, Daddy.” Rainy smiled.
“Did you have a good time? You sure look pretty.”
Rainy looked down at the yellow sundress and simple sandals. Anne had fixed her hair and make-up, and she did feel pretty, the feeling didn’t reach her heart.
“Thanks,” she smiled, then sobered. “To answer your question though, the answer is no. I did not have a good time, and we had a terrible scare on the way back. I almost hit one of those antelope.”
Owen looked up at his little girl, his dark eyes serious. “You’re okay though?”
Rainy sat down on the bed looking out the window. “We’re fine, but it scared me. What if something had happened to me? What would happen to Lucas? I’m his mom, he’s my responsibility.”
“You know your mom and I are always here for you.”
“I know,” Rainy looked at her father. He looked tired and for the first time, she noticed the lines around his eyes and the gray in his hair. “But Lucas was my choice, not yours. I might have made a big mistake back then, but I can’t regret this little man.”
Owen smiled. His baby had grown up fast. He had wanted to hunt down the boy who had walked away from her, but he too had to admit that he loved his grandson.
“You’re doing great honey,” he looked between the sleepy boy and Rainy. “You haven’t tried to run from this, and I’m proud of you.” Owen stood from his chair walking to the bed and placing a kiss on his daughter’s brow. “You’ll always be my baby,” he sighed, turning and walking from the room.
Rainy shimmied out of her dress, grabbing her soft fleece pajamas and snuggling into the bed. Sometimes her father could make her feel all of six years old again, but the warm feeling in her heart was stifled as she cuddled her son. Lucas would never know the love of a father. He loved his grandpa, and Owen was wonderful with the boy, but he wasn’t a young man anymore and time would eventually take its toll.
A tear rolled down her cheek as Rainy looked up at the wooden ceiling above, wondering how many young women had looked at the tongue and grove expanse while they worried about their future?
Her heart questioned every decision she ever made. “Would it have been any different if he had stayed?” she asked the silent room. “We were so young, surely it would have all ended badly anyway.”
Rainy rolled over, smiling as her eyes adjusted to the dim light, soaking in the innocent face of her boy. “I have you,” she breathed. “That’s enough. What more could I ever need?” Even as the words rolled off her tongue Rainy felt the tug of something deep inside, something she didn’t understand.
Her question seemed to drift into the night on angel’s wings, going heaven only knew where. Deep inside she knew that there was more to this world than science could explain. That nothing so wondrous and beautiful could have simply appeared out of thin air.
A deep and ancient longing stirred in her soul, but Rainy didn’t recognize the call, and as her eyes grew heavy, she clung to the one thing she had in her life that was truly hers.
Rainy had more than her destiny to consider. She held this precious life in her hands, and only she could give him the life he deserved. The weight of the responsibility pressed down on her and fresh tears began to fall. Some days it was all overwhelming, and though she had the love and support of her family, she knew that at the end of the day she was on her own.
“I won’t ever leave you,” she whispered pressing a tear dampened kiss to Luca’s forehead. “I’m your mama bear, and I’ll always love you.”
Sleep crept in, stalking the long weary hours of the day into blissful dreams as Rainy finally surrendered to slumber. Tomorrow would be what she made of it, and she would make it amazing for her son.
A soft breeze lifted a quiet voice on the night air, drifting through the open window by Rainy’s bed. Sweet words of surrender and devotion raised in prayerful praise on a tenor voice that tugged at memory’s strings.
***
Nathan leaned against the railing of the front porch, his restless wanderings shifting to singing as the night deepened. Each word of an old tune issuing from his soul as a prayer for a better future trilled out as I Believe.
Chapter 6
Nathan rubbed the sleep from his eyes and rolled out of bed to a bleary morning. He had struggled to sleep the night before and had taken a long stroll through the grounds in the wee hours. Singing had set his soul to rest, and he had returned to the bunkhouse somewhere around three.
His heart told him he had things he needed to do, but his mind rebelled, trying to put the painful past behind him. He knew that sooner or later, he would have to do something about the prompting of his heart, but at the moment, he didn’t even know where to begin.
Nathan had left Iowa soon after graduation and hadn’t looked back. His focus had been on getting his degree and making a living that outstripped anything his grandparents had ever imagined. Nathan wanted to lavish his family with gifts, trips, fancy dinners, and
