A wan smile tugged at her lips as Lucas pushed a little truck across the floor. Her precious boy, the one thing she could cling to had been Nathan’s legacy. Despite the pain he had caused, despite the fact that his dreams and goals had been more important than she was, the essence of love still lingered in the deepest part of her heart.
“Mommy, can we ride the ponies?” Lucas looked up from his toys, his sweet smile lighting her heart.
“Not right now honey,” Rainy sniffed. “It’s too early.”
“Why are you sad, Mommy?” Lucas’s dark eyes were full of love and Rainy felt a smile cover her face.
“Sometime’s Mommies get sad,” Rainy’s words were soft.
Lucas pushed himself up walking to the bed and gesturing for his mother to lean close.
Rainy leaned forward smiling softly as the boy placed his little hands on each side of her face. “I love you, Mommy. Don’t cry.” Lucas leaned forward kissing her damp cheeks then releasing her and going back to his toys. How could something so perfect come from so much pain?
Falling back into her comfortable iron frame bed, Rainy pondered the situation. She shouldn’t have run from Nathan. She should have stood her ground, confronting him about all the pain he had caused. Her heart thrummed in her breast as she saw his handsome face once more, in her mind’s eye.
Sitting up, her heart racing, Rainy pondered the implication of meeting Nathan here and now. Would he want visitation rights? Did he realize that Lucas was his son? What if he tried to sue for custody? Eyes wide she stared at her son, as her soul filled with dread. Nathan could ruin everything she had worked so hard to overcome in the past few years. She couldn’t let that happen. She wouldn’t let him steal the greatest love she had ever known.
***
Nathan collapsed onto a hard bench, all the air rushing from his lungs, as confusion left him weak.
Rainy was here on the ranch. Rainy and the little boy he had helped get a cookie the day before. The boy had to be his, the eyes alone gave it away, and Nathan shivered as the reality struck home. He was a dad.
Dropping his head in his hands, Nate reminded himself to breathe as the warmth of the sun caressed his shoulder like a kiss. What was he to do? He was torn between racing into the house after Rainy or hiding in the barn. He wanted to know everything and ignore everything all at once. If he pursued the beautiful young woman, how would he be received? Surely Rainy must hate him for what he had done.
The guilt, shame, and sorrow that had been building in his soul threatened to overwhelm him and Nathan found it hard to breathe. “God help,” he uttered in a breathy whisper as tears stung his eyes.
Rainy was still as beautiful as she had ever been. He had never met a more loving and giving person in his life. Every moment he had spent with her came rushing back. Every kiss, every touch, every I love you spilled over him in a cascade of emotion.
How had he been fool enough to walk away from her? He had been young and so full of dreams, but Rainy could have been a part of those dreams.
“You gonna sit there all day or are ya gonna get on with it and die outright?”
Nathan looked up into the compassionate eyes of Red Dixon and shook his head.
“Tell ol’ Red what happened?” The old man slipped onto the seat across from Nate, a calming presence in the midst of the storm.
“Rainy is here,” Nathan forced the words through numb lips. “Rainy is here with my son.”
***
“Rainy, honey, are you up?” Owen knocked on his daughter’s door as he headed for breakfast. “Honey?” he asked again pushing the door open a crack.
“I already ate, Dad.” Rainy turned toward the window so her father wouldn’t see her tear-stained face. After so long you would have thought that her tears for Nathan and the love she had thought would last a lifetime would be all dried up, but they continued to flow.
“Honey, are you alright?” Owen stepped into the room and Lucas raced to him, grasping his knees.
“Mommy’s sad,” the boy said taking his grandfather’s hand. “A tow-boy made her cry.”
“Rainy!” Owen’s eyes were sharp as he made his way to his daughter’s side.
“I’m fine, Dad, really,” she turned offering him a bright smile. “It’s nothing. I’m just feeling a little tired and overwhelmed that’s all.”
“Rainy?” Owen’s tone was soft but inquisitive.
“I’m not ready to talk about it yet,” Rainy said. “Maybe you can take Lucas for a pony ride after breakfast.”
“P’ease, Poppa?” Lucas turned big brown eyes on his grandfather and the older man caved.
“Alright,” he grinned. “I’ll take you for a pony ride, and your mother can have a little rest.” Owen cut his eyes to his daughter as he took his grandson’s hands. It was obvious something had upset his little girl, but he knew enough not to push it. In time she would explain. If only he could be sure that she would always be loved and cared for even when he was no longer there for her, his heart could rest easy.
“Come on buckaroo, I need some food, and then we’ll see about a pony ride for my favorite boy.”
Rainy turned from the window as her father led Lucas out the door. It wasn’t fair that Lucas didn’t have a father. His words from earlier in the week echoed in her mind. Mommy, why don’t I have
