Chapter 11
Rainy woke with a smile, even after the shock, and the rough start of the day before things had gone well. She was still torn between making room for Nathan in Lucas’s life and cutting him out completely, but last night, the man had seemed so different from the boy who had walked away.
Beside her Lucas still slept, but she was so accustomed to his early morning routine she lay in bed eyes wide as she pondered the new situation. In the end, did any of it matter? Nathan would be moving on to the big job he had always dreamed of, and she would return home trying to find balance in the next stage of her life.
Lucas had seemed to accept Nathan as an old friend, and Rainy had to admit that her old flame was holding up to his side of the bargain. Rising she made her way to the window and lifted the blind gazing out at the barn that was beginning to twinkle with lights. Was he out there now? Was Nathan going through the morning routine as she watched a new day burst forth?
Her mind turned back to the days when he had told her he loved her when he had promised her the world. If she hadn’t gotten pregnant would he have lived up to his word, taking her with him to college at WU? That life was all in the past, but finding it in her heart to give him time with her son seemed to release some of the old anger and hurt she had carried for so long.
“Mommy, I’m hungry.” Lucas sat up rubbing his eyes with tiny fists. “Can we have pancakes?”
Rainy hurried to the bed squatting and reaching for him, her fingers finding his ribs and making him squeal with laughter.
“I’ll have to see what Mrs. Wade is making today,” she replied hugging him tightly. “Let’s get dressed and go see.”
Taking Lucas by the hand, Rainy headed for the kitchen a smile on her face. If you had asked her a few days ago how she would have reacted to seeing Nathan again, none of this would have come to mind, but the fact that she had met him, had brought some peace to a tender heart, broken beyond repair. Perhaps, in the future, there would be a chance at love. Someday when Lucas was older, Rainy thought that she might be able to love a man again. She knew that Nathan’s rejection, denial, and abandonment had not doomed her to a life without love. She was stronger than she had believed she ever could be.
“Morning!” Mrs. Wade greeted them cheerfully as Rainy and Lucas walked into the kitchen. “I’m making blueberry pancakes today.” She leaned down tapping Lucas on the nose. “How’s that sound?”
“Yum!” The boy enthused sending both women into peals of laughter.
***
“Do you have children, Mrs. Wade?” Rainy asked as the three of them settled around the high island to eat.
“I do. I have three children two boys and a girl. Of course, they are all grown up now, and I have grandbabies.” The older woman’s bright smile filled the room.
“I’ll head out to see some of them during the holiday season. It’s still busy here in the fall and Christmas is something to see, but this year I’m taking the time off. I figure some of the younger women should start taking a bigger role here on the Broken J. I can’t run this kitchen forever.”
“Do you ever wish you had done things differently?” Rainy asked. “I mean gone for a career or something like that?”
“No, that wasn’t for me. I found my satisfaction in raising a family and loving a good man. God made me for that I guess. There’s nothing wrong with any of the rest of it either,” Mrs. Wade hurried to add. “As long as you can find joy and balance.” The older woman shook her spatula at Rainy. “Balance is the hard thing to find. I always say sometimes you have to slow down to speed up. That’s what I say.”
Rainy chuckled. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“Not if you don’t think about it for a minute. We get in such an all-fired hurry to do or be something that we miss the point. We’re so caught up in doing something we miss the best things in life.”
Rainy nodded, seeing the woman’s point. “Like planning so you know that what you want to do will work?”
“Right.”
“Can I have more bacon?” Lucas looked between his mother and Mrs. Wade. “P’ease.”
“You bet,” Mrs. Wade smiled hurrying to the warmer to add more crisp strips to the plate.
“Mrs. Wade, can I ask you one more thing?”
“Ask away,” Mrs. Wade said. “I’m too old to bother being offended by questions.”
“Do you think people can really change?”
“Yes.” The woman said emphatically. “Not on their own, but they can change.”
“How?”
“By giving up everything they believe they know and surrendering to the one who made them. I know lots of folks think that kind of thing is foolishness these days, but God made us. He made us to be in a relationship with Him, and when we walk away from that, everything goes sideways. Oh, I don’t mean that accepting the truth will mean you have the perfect life, but it does mean you will never be alone.”
“Truth.” Rainy pondered the word. The same word Nathan had used the day before. She wanted to believe that he had changed and that he wouldn’t hurt Lucas by walking away from him, but she just wasn’t sure. Old scars, newly healed, still stung, and she couldn’t take that risk with her son. No, Nathan would remain relegated to the realm of a friend. If
