*
By 10 p.m. Maddie’s fingers were stained orange from the nacho chips and her head was filled with cotton wool from the wine. The second bottle had tasted nicer, probably because it was the red wine she had brought with her. A pizza box from Dominos sat on the table, containing one lonely crust and an empty pot of dip. They had settled on watching old episodes of Friends, laughing together as Ross struggled with his leather trousers and Rachel made Thanksgiving trifle with custard and minced beef.
Maddie remembered watching the series in the 1990s when she and Greg were newlyweds. They would lie together on one couch, curving into each other. She could remember the feeling of his chest bouncing against her back as he laughed. Maybe that was why she loved this programme so much.
While they watched, Jade encouraged Maddie to sign up to Twitter and Snapchat. They giggled as they took photo after photo with silly filters, each one funnier than the last.
It had been ages since Maddie had had such a good time.
Jade commented on Maddie’s iWatch when it pinged to remind Maddie to stand up. ‘Those are expensive,’ she said and Maddie explained it was a birthday gift from Greg last year.
‘I swim sometimes and he got it for me so that I could measure my distance better. But sometimes I think it’s the only thing that believes in me,’ she said. ‘It’ll say things like, ‘Come on, you can do it!’ and ‘You’ve got this!’, and I believe it. How ridiculous is that! It’s just a bloody watch, but I actually find myself talking to it.’
‘It’s a fucking generous birthday present. I bet that handbag was from him too?’
She had clearly clocked Maddie’s Gucci handbag and, yes, it was another gift from a work trip Greg had taken to Milan a few years ago. Maddie explained that Greg had always been generous and that by the end of their marriage, he had resorted to elaborate gifts rather than quality time with her.
Maddie showed Jade photos of Greg on her phone, but Jade seemed more taken with the fact that Maddie had a new iPhone 11 – an upgrade secured by Greg, of course. In return, she showed Maddie her iPhone XS with its cracked screen and complained at how poor the camera quality was on it. Maddie noticed her screen wallpaper was a photo of Ben eating ice cream and her heart clenched like a muscle spasm. Maddie’s wallpaper was a generic photo of sunflowers.
Maddie asked Jade to show her photos of Ben and she took her time scrolling through – Ben playing with the toys Maddie had noticed earlier; his face covered in tomato ketchup with a McDonalds Happy Meal in front of him; another of him splashing in a puddle wearing bright green wellies. Looking around the lounge, there was only one photo on show in a frame – Jade and Ben smiling into the camera behind a birthday cake marked with three candles.
One photo popped up on Jade’s phone of a tiny baby Ben held in the arms of a tall, dark-haired man. ‘Is that Ben’s dad?’ Maddie asked.
Jade hesitated and looked away.
‘Don’t worry, you don’t have to tell me,’ Maddie added hastily.
‘No, it’s fine. It’s just… Yes, that’s Mark. We’re not together now.’ She picked at a small hole in her T-shirt. ‘We split up before I was pregnant, but then one drunken night a couple of months later and bam!’ Jade explained conception like it was nothing. Like it was the easiest thing in the world. Maddie supposed for most people it was.
‘Mark got a really good job on the oil rigs and moved up north. He was making proper good money. I texted him to tell him I was pregnant and sent him photos and stuff. He sees Ben as much as he can and he’s always been good with paying child maintenance, which is great.’
Maddie couldn’t imagine having that kind of removed relationship with her own child. ‘Doesn’t he mind not being more involved? Missing so much of Ben growing up?’
‘No, not really. He has a new girlfriend and she’s pregnant now, so…’ Jade shrugged. ‘Actually, he’s talking about moving closer to here now. I’m not sure if I want that though. It works like it is now. He gets time with Ben and I get time away on my own. It would be too… complicated if he lived closer.’ Jade’s face looked tight and pinched as she spoke.
‘It can’t be easy for you raising Ben on your own,’ Maddie said gently.
Jade ignored her and they watched TV in silence, the atmosphere dampened.
After a while, Jade lurched to her feet and headed into the kitchen, returning with the chocolates and more wine. Maddie’s head was starting to thud, a sign of what tomorrow would be like, but she wanted to resurrect the atmosphere of earlier, didn’t want to leave on a flat note.
Until they had mentioned Ben’s dad, she had been enjoying herself. Men always knew how to ruin things. Jade had a brittle sense of humour that had had Maddie in fits of giggles all night. Her tongue was so sharp it could clip a hedge and she was quick to share her strong opinions on most things, like she had a childish need to show off for her new friend. Maddie decided one more glass wouldn’t hurt. The damage was probably already done anyway and it wasn’t like she had anything to do tomorrow.
‘Tell me about Greg,’ Jade said. ‘A bit of a sugar daddy, is he? He certainly buys you lots of nice stuff.’ Her eyes were greedy with delight.
Maddie shuffled uncomfortably. ‘It’s complicated, but he is still very much a
