Gemma’s hand stilled over the gravy, then resumed stirring but with extra vigour. Gravy slopped over the edge of the pan.
Maddie smiled sweetly at Greg and tapped her glass to his bottle. ‘Cheers! Here’s to families, whatever shape they come in.’
Gemma turned towards them and said pointedly, ‘I would join in the toast, but I’m not drinking at the moment. Greg and I are trying for another baby.’
The room swayed in front of Maddie for a split second. ‘Oh,’ she said.
Greg glared at Gemma before saying, ‘Um, yes, I was going to tell you over lunch. It would be lovely to have a brother or sister for Jemima.’
Maddie swallowed more prosecco. ‘Yes, it would.’
Gemma threw out a triumphant smile and turned back to her pans, just as a wail erupted from deep in the house.
‘Oh, speak of the devil! Jemima is awake,’ Greg said in delight and trotted out of the room.
The air filled with a leaden silence in his absence. Gemma was still standing at the oven, stirring her gravy. She was wearing skin-tight white jeans and a loose-fitting beige roll-neck jumper, and Maddie wondered how she wasn’t getting brown splatters on her jeans. She found herself fascinated by this – the arrogance in knowing that you wouldn’t spill on yourself, that your baby wouldn’t wipe a sticky hand on your pristine thigh, that nothing would ruffle your perfect image. Maddie doubted she would ever have that kind of confidence.
Gemma must’ve felt Maddie staring because she spun around again. Maddie blushed and rearranged the look of distaste on her face.
‘You know,’ Gemma said, ‘I’m so pleased you’re finally in your own flat. It’s nice that we can all move on from all that… unpleasantness of last year, don’t you think? I’m sure you’re keen to get on with your life, make a fresh start.’
She made it sound like a wardrobe refresh. Maddie frowned at her. ‘Well, I wouldn’t say it’s as easy as that.’
‘Oh, no, of course not. But Greg was just saying last night how pleased he is to see you so independent after all this time. You two were together a long time and it must seem strange to now be on your own, master of your own destiny as they say, but also such fun.’
‘I guess it is.’ Maddie’s teeth were clenching painfully.
‘Of course, we are always here to help, but you know what Greg can be like. He’s too nice for his own good.’ How anyone could be too nice was beyond Maddie. Gemma continued, ‘Having him hovering over you and dropping everything to come and help you probably won’t be beneficial for either of you in the long term, would it? Just delaying the inevitable really.’ She paused. ‘You look tired – are you eating ok? Today should help, fill you up. It must be so difficult trying to cook for one person.’
Maddie could hear Greg babbling to Jemima down the hallway and she wanted to shout out to him to tell Gemma to stop, to come and rescue her. Gemma’s words might seem harmless to anyone else, but to Maddie each one was a tiny poisonous dart piercing her brain.
‘Anyway, I’m pleased you’re making friends. Makes all of this easier, doesn’t it? And with us trying for a new baby, Greg will have less time than ever soon, so a good opportunity for all of us to loosen the ties a bit, don’t you think?’
Maddie got to her feet. ‘This isn’t like ripping off a plaster, you know.’ Her voice sounded shrill. ‘I can’t just forget and move on, no matter how much you might want me to. I not only lost a husband, I lost a best friend and the chance at a family too.’
‘There, there, Maddie. Don’t go getting yourself upset.’
‘You think you have it all figured out, don’t you? Well, I promise you this, one day I’ll—’
‘Here she is!’ Greg came back into the kitchen, then paused. ‘Everything ok?’
‘Yes, fine. Gemma was just telling me that I look tired and thin.’ She was still glaring at Gemma.
Greg looked panicked, his eyes flitting from Maddie to Gemma and back again. ‘Well, it’s been a stressful time for you, for everyone… Say hi to Aunty Mads, Jemima!’
The tiny little girl in Greg’s arms was watching Maddie with big blue eyes, her blonde curls framing her little face like a cloud, and Maddie melted. ‘Hey there, baby girl.’
She reached out and took her from Greg, ignoring the annoyance on Gemma’s face, and breathed in her warm, vanilla innocent baby smell.
This was what made her feel complete.
*
Greg looked around the table, feeling a warm glow of contentment. In fact, it wasn’t just contentment. He was feeling smug. He felt like he had in fact achieved the impossible. After what seemed like years of getting it completely wrong, he was finally getting something right. He had his girlfriend, his wife and his daughter all sitting at the table, eating together and not stabbing each other with the cutlery. He sat back in his chair, his hands on the table, and surveyed the tableau playing out in front of him.
Gemma sat at the other end of the table from him and God, she was beautiful. Ok, so right now her lips were pursed like a cat’s bum and she was clearly very tense, but even on edge, she turned him on. He wouldn’t ever admit out loud that that may have been a factor when he had hired her all those years ago, but it was nice to have something pretty to look at when he was at work. Especially back then, when things with Maddie weren’t going so well and there were days when his wife wasn’t even getting out of bed, when she wore pyjamas or stained tracksuit bottoms day in and day out.
Of course, the affair was never planned. In fact, he would proudly tell anyone if asked that he’d avoided being alone with Gemma
