My chest squeezed painfully. “Don’t you wonder what you are?”
“I did at first. I thought about it all the time, but what does it matter. All that matters is that I’m here with you.”
I reached for him and my hand passed through his cheek. “You deserve more than a half-life. You deserve to be loved.”
“Do you love me, Anya?”
I looked up at him, incredulous, because how could he not know it when it was all I’d ever known? “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. I loved you even before I knew what love was.”
“Then that is enough for me. This, being here with you, is enough for me.”
I shuffled closer to his shadow form and lay down. “It’s enough for me too.” I plucked at the duvet between us. “Why were you gone so long?”
“I went to Draco City.”
“What?” I sat up so quickly my head spun. “Are you crazy?”
He chuckled. “They can’t see me, and even if they could they can’t hurt me. I’ve been there before.”
The dead rat in the cell… “You were there with me.”
“I’ve rarely left your side, Anya.”
“You went to find Illyrian, didn’t you?”
“Yes. And I found him. He’s alive. Unhurt for now. But the commander is getting impatient. I think he’s beginning to realize you’re not about to come running, and if he finds that he has no more use for Illyrian then I fear he will dispose of him.”
My pulse pounded in my throat. “Where are they holding him?”
“In a building on the outskirts of the arena.”
“Strange? Why would they do that? Why not keep him in the red zone?”
“I have no idea. I tried to speak to him, but they have him drugged. He’s unconscious and I was unable to wake him.” Azazel watched me carefully. “Even if I could gain corporeal status to carry him away, I wouldn’t make it across the Outlands before I lost form again.”
“You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I know you’d have gotten him out if you could.”
“The building he’s being held in is less than a quarter of a mile from Sector 8,” Azazel said.
I knew what he was getting at. Fuck. I wanted to jump on this too, but… “The humans are the main goal of our mission. If I go after Dad, I could compromise their escape.”
Azazel nodded. “Yes.”
“If I get the humans out first, the alarms will be raised, and going back for my dad would be too risky.”
“Yes, it would,” Azazel agreed. “Whatever you decide, I am on your side. Always on your side.”
But for once I wanted the decision to not be up to me. For once I wanted things to be fucking easy.
Dad would want me to put the children first. He’d want what was best for the majority. “I have to get the humans out. Once the Dreki have that advantage they won’t need me. I’ll go after Dad. I’ll take the risk.”
Azazel’s eyes blazed. “We’ll do it together.”
I wanted to grab his hand. Instead I settled for locking gazes with him and channeling every ounce of intensity I had into that look.
“Promise me you won’t leave me again.”
His sigh filled the air. “Never willingly, Anya. Never willingly.”
There was a knock on the door and Azazel vanished.
“What?” I couldn’t keep the annoyance from my tone.
The door opened and Vesper stood on the threshold. His gaze slid over me and heated.
“Fuck.” I pulled the sheets up to cover my breasts.
His nostrils flared as he inhaled and then he turned his head away, averting his gaze. “A bit late for that, isn’t it?” he said.
“What do you want?”
His throat bobbed. “Dante is back. Oberon took the deal. If we leave in an hour, we can infiltrate Sector 8 at sunset.”
“Okay.”
His gaze flicked my way, dark, intense, and hungry. My stomach flipped because that wasn’t the look of a man who despised me, it was the look of a man who craved me.
But then he was gone, slamming the door behind him.
I sagged back onto the bed. “Fuck.”
Azazel appeared by the door, his back to me. “Next time I take form, I’m going to pluck out his eyes.”
Fucked-up thing was, I believed him.
Chapter Thirteen
I clutched the book in my hand and turned it over. Dad had given me one task—to hand this book to Orion. If I went off plan to rescue him, the book might never reach the Dreki lord. I needed a backup plan. Some way to ensure the book got to the Frost Dreki.
I needed a messenger I could trust. Someone who wouldn’t be headed into danger. Someone who had no agenda.
I took a deep breath and entered the nursery. It was still predawn, and the air was silent and heavy with sleep. I padded stealthily through the corridors and ducked into the room my kids were sharing. Gemma and Neddie were wrapped in each other’s arms. Stefan lay on his back, mouth parted on soft snores, and June was on her side with her back to the wall.
I crouched by her bed and touched her shoulder. “June, wake up.”
Her eyes fluttered open and she stared at me from beneath sleep-heavy lids for a long beat. Then her gaze sharpened, and she sat up.
“What’s wrong? What happened?”
I held a finger to my lips. “Hush.”
She nodded.
“I’m going on a mission. I should be back by tomorrow night, but if I’m not, if for some reason I don’t make it back, I need you to do
