The little flame burned brighter, and I realized with horror that it was a flame of hope.
Chapter Eleven
Ryan
When lunch was over, I stepped off the sweeping back porch, gazing out at the river lapping at the beach down below and the huge old trees leaning over the wide yard, cooling the still air. This place felt magical to me—part of it must have been the knowledge that it had been here for hundreds of years, it had seen turning points in American history that I’d read about in books. And, if Gran was to be believed, plenty of history I hadn’t read about. Who knew the founding fathers were such stone cold players?
When you’ve lived your entire life on the West Coast, this kind of real history makes an impression. Even the air here gave the sense of calm steadiness, of patience, as if the whole place was saying, I’ve been here this long, I’ll be here forever. It made me feel small, somehow, less solid. But it also made me aware of the impermanence of my own life—not that my own history hadn’t done a pretty good job of that. But it just hammered home the knowledge that our time here was short.
And while the history of the place was definitely interesting, it was the present that held my interest most.
I didn’t know what it was about Tess, or what might exist between us if we gave it a chance, but it was something I’d never felt before.
I turned back to the house, and could see Tess through the kitchen window at the sink. Juliet had gone inside with her after lunch, winking at me as she’d gone, so I was pretty sure by now Tess knew the truth. I was less sure what that meant for me. Would she be angry that we’d lied to her? Would she think I was just another dirty Hollywood type, doing anything to get ahead?
Wasn’t I?
I thought about Dad, back in Los Angeles, about the money it took to take care of him. I thought about the abandoned plans I’d had once for a completely different kind of life. And I thought about the deal I’d made with Juliet when the roles seemed to be drying up and the money with them. I’d had a reason for what I’d done—maybe Tess would understand.
I crossed the wide porch, ignoring the squawk of Chessy, who was chasing Jack across the lawn as he hovered just far enough away from me that I knew he was assigned to me for today, and I went inside to find Tess.
“Hey,” I said, stepping into the kitchen. She was wiping the countertop, cleaning things up after lunch.
She stopped moving and looked up to meet my eye, something quizzical and uncertain there. “Hey,” she said, and then opened the dishwasher and put a few things into the rack.
I leaned against the counter, watching her. I wanted to talk to her, but if I was being honest, I just liked watching her move. She was lithe and graceful, but she wasn’t lean like her sister. Tess was clearly a woman, with curves under her clothes that begged for exploration, and a hint of movement when she walked that was mesmerizing. I’d never had a type, I didn’t think, but my hands itched to fill themselves with those generous curves, and I was beginning to think I’d been living in a world surrounded by women who were definitely not my type.
“You’re making me nervous,” Tess said, finally stopping her movements around the kitchen and turning to face me. “Staring like that.”
“Sorry,” I said, brushing my hands against my thighs as if I could clear the nervous energy out of my body. “Is there anything I can help with today?” I tried. “For the party?”
Tess washed her hands slowly and seemed to think about her answer. “I took today off work so I could get things ready for Gran’s party, but I think things are pretty much set. Turns out I’m more organized than even I realized.” Her light laugh dissipated some of the nerves that were gathering in my stomach.
She ran a hand over her hair, smoothing up a tendril that had escaped over her shoulder and was hanging in her face. She looked at me a long minute, and little spikes of excitement skewered my gut, my muscles tightening as I tried to figure out what the look in her eyes meant.
“I’m sorry we lied,” I said. I wanted to banish the awkwardness between us, address the biggest issue so maybe we could move forward.
She nodded slowly, lowering her eyes and spreading her hands on the countertop, her slim fingers splaying wide on the dark granite. “Yeah,” she said, her voice almost a breath. “I get it. I mean, I guess I do.” She turned to face me, her beautiful face bunched with worry. “You and Juliet … you live these lives I can’t even begin to understand. Your world is just so different.” She smiled and shook her head as if to brush away her concerns.
“Not that different,” I said.
She squinted up at me, like she was trying to see inside me somehow, see why I would agree to lie. “It’s okay,” she said finally.
The topic seemed to be closed, even though there was a lot more I wanted to tell her. Maybe now, standing in her kitchen with an insane chicken shrieking just outside the door, wasn’t the right time. I hoped there would be more time for us. That she might give me a chance.
“Tess,” I said, lowering my voice and taking a step nearer.
