Tess sighed and I watched her drive for a moment, a little vein in her neck pulsing and her forehead wrinkling and then smoothing as thoughts appeared to pass beneath it. I squeezed her knee, wishing I could see inside her mind, see what was causing her to look tense all of a sudden. She inhaled sharply at the contact and then pulled the car over to the shoulder and stopped, turning to face me.
“Look,” she said, her voice at once soft and steely. “I know this is probably a fun diversion for you, going to a place you’ve never heard of and wowing the locals. Watching the country girls swoon—that kind of thing.”
Shock formed a bright ball in the front of my mind. Is this what Tess thought? That this time with her was some diversion? I was shaking my head slowly. That was so completely not what this was.
“But this is my real life here, and I’m having a hard time figuring out where to place this. For you it’s a weekend trip. For me …” she trailed off and I wondered desperately what she’d been thinking. What she wouldn’t say.
“Hey,” I said, pulling her aviator shades from her face. “This isn’t just a distraction,” I told her. “I didn’t know I’d meet you. I didn’t plan this at all.” What else could I tell her, what could I say to make her see that she felt like so much more than a fling to me? “I didn’t expect any of this.”
“Any of what, exactly?”
“You,” I told her. “The attraction I feel for you. The … the feelings I’m having for you.”
“You just met me.”
I nodded. She was right, but the fact it was crazy didn’t make it less true. “And so you’re saying you don’t feel it too? You don’t feel anything for me?”
She watched me, and I saw a flicker of fear or uncertainty dance across her face for a brief moment. “I’m not sure it matters.”
I took her hands, made her face me fully. If she felt any bit of what I felt for her, I had to make her see that we had to explore it, give ourselves a chance. I felt like I was standing on the edge of something incredible—a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And if I didn’t take it, I’d always regret it. “Yes, it does matter.”
She shook her head. “I’m just trying to be realistic, Ryan. I’m trying to protect myself. You’re a freakin’ movie star. Girls fall in love with you all the time, and if I become one of them, my heart will break when you leave, when you go back to California, pretending to be dating my sister …”
“Maybe we won’t do that now.” I said the words, knowing I had an ironclad contract. I doubted I could get out of it. And I didn’t want to hurt Juliet, as much as I wanted to be free to pursue Tess.
“What? Pretend?”
“Go back.” I don’t know what made me say it. I wanted to stay here. At least for a while. Maybe it was time for a break, for a vacation. For something new. Maybe my career was slipping because I had nothing to fuel it, nothing in my real life to lend to the characters I played. But still, I shouldn’t make promises I couldn’t keep.
She laughed, a sound that was sharp and disbelieving. “Right.”
“What if I stayed a little while?” I asked her. “What if I just stayed?” I threw this out there, knowing it was all but impossible. I had Juliet and Dad to think about. I had a movie to film—the one that was going to launch my career to the next level. What was I saying?
Tess sighed and pulled her hands from mine. “That’s the beauty of being a movie star, I guess. You can just pretend things for a while. You get paid to do it.”
My back straightened as the jab of her statement hit home. “What does that mean?”
“People don’t just decide to move like that, Ryan. And what about your career? And your dad?”
I did need to worry about Dad. They were holding a place at the retirement community for him, but I needed to come up with the down payment, and it was more than I’d put on my own home. “I hired a nurse to stay this weekend. I can ask her to stay longer.” But it wasn’t a solution. Not really.
Tess was looking at me, a strange expression on her face. Finally, something that looked like resignation replaced the skepticism I’d seen there. “You’re crazy,” she whispered. “People don’t do that.” She pulled the car back out onto the road and didn’t say anything else.
I didn’t know what to say, either. I’d already said a lot of things I’d never intended to. Crazy things. Who did that? Who met a girl one day, kissed her the next and then told her he was thinking of moving across the country for her just to see what it would be like? Crazy people. Surfer cavemen people, maybe.
“We can just pretend none of this happened if you want,” she said as we pulled back into the long drive in front of her house. “Just a fun day to remember. Nothing else.”
I hated that idea and it caused a visceral reaction, my stomach turning my muscles tensing. I frowned, wishing I could see her eyes behind the shades. “Is that what you want?”
She laughed, but it held no joy at all. “What I want? I just want to go back to my regular life where I know what’s going on and movie stars don’t pop in, kiss me, and then make wild proposals about moving to Maryland.”
“What if we went back to before I made a wild proposal, and just stayed at the kissing part?” A man could hope. Maybe if we took things more slowly, Tess would come around. I knew—because I’d been the one
