A little voice deep inside was screaming at me to be stronger; not to be that girl, not to be the girl every woman probably became near Ryan McDonnell. But I couldn’t stop now, and I let Ryan’s hard firm body press against mine and pull me into him because the temptation was too great and I was weak. Maybe my sister was right and I was just her naïve little sister.
Maybe I didn’t care.
Maybe I could use people too, and maybe I could use Ryan tonight. Maybe it didn’t mean anything.
I stopped thinking.
I Just. Let. Go.
His mouth was hot and insistent on mine, and his hands were sliding over my body, gripping and rubbing, pulling at my clothes. I slid my palms up beneath his T-shirt, up the firm solid muscle of his back, feeling the corded strength on each side of his spine. And then the shirt was gone, and I was unfastening his pants, pushing them down his body as he undressed me. We stumbled around the room, pulling off items of clothing and sliding our hands over each other, and it felt like neither of us would ever get enough of the other’s hands or mouth.
I heard myself whimpering, a needy wanting sound I didn’t even know I could make. But I needed more. I needed so much more than hands and tongue and … Oh, God. Ryan lifted me and spread me out on my bed, my legs still draped over the side as he knelt between my legs and demonstrated an entirely different kind of talent apart from acting. “Oh my God,” I moaned, as my hands fisted the bedspread.
Ryan’s tongue and fingers worked together to drive every last rational thought from my mind until I was nothing more than wanting and need, and then he was over me, claiming my mouth again, pressing every inch of his hard firm body into mine. His hands and mouth were on my breasts, his tongue and teeth turning me into a woman I didn’t recognize as I writhed and thrashed beneath him. My hands were in his hair, grabbing at his back, reaching for his perfect ass.
And then he was gone and back, ripping a condom packet in his teeth and gazing down at me as he knelt over me. “Is this okay?” he asked, holding himself in one hand.
I’d never been a particular fan of the male anatomy. Which isn’t to say I didn’t appreciate it in a utilitarian sort of way. The truth was, I’d only had occasion to really look at a few examples up close. But Ryan’s cock was smooth and thick, and … beautiful.
I stared at it for way too long, probably grinning like an idiot. I took him in my hand then, nodding, since the power of speech had left me again. I slid my hand along his length and watched his eyes drop shut. His enjoyment made me feel bolder, and I took his balls in my other hand as I stroked him, watching as his body shuddered. I took the condom from his fingers and rolled it down his length, his eyes fixed on my hands.
“Yes,” I finally managed to say.
And nothing else was needed, because then he was there, pressing into me, gently at first and then thrusting, my hips matching every motion until I thought I’d split into a thousand pieces. I wrapped my legs around him, raked his back with my nails and held on, knowing I was seconds from falling apart. And with me holding him so tightly, the movement changed and shifted, became deeper, slower. Ryan was rubbing something deep inside me, some spot that felt like fire and wanting and need, and with every movement I became more desperate for release.
And when it came, it wasn’t an explosion. It wasn’t sudden, or shocking or a surprise. It was exactly as I’d known it would be, considering my ultimate movie-star crush was in my bed, in my arms, inside me.
It was consuming and overwhelming, like a wave building inside me and rolling over us from the inside out. It went on and on, a pulsing, living, moving thing that bound me to him, that separated me from everything else I knew. That made us whole together. And when it ended, I was left helpless and happy, whole and yet changed, in the arms of a man with whom I was very afraid I might be completely in love.
Chapter Fifteen
Ryan
Sex with Tess was exactly what I thought it would be.
Perfect.
Everything about this girl was exactly perfect for me, and if I said that didn’t scare the hell out of me, I’d be lying.
And now I held her in my arms, our hearts beating against one another as our breathing slowed, and I didn’t ever want to let her go. I had to make her see what I already knew.
“Ryan,” she breathed. “Let go. You’re suffocating me.”
“Oh God, sorry.” I rolled to the side and relaxed my grip, but I wasn’t letting go. I’d already decided. I couldn’t let this girl go.
Tess smiled up at me, her eyes cloudy and half-closed. But even as I smiled back down at her, her features cleared and the edges of her perfect little mouth began to turn down. “Ryan,” she said, beginning what I knew was going to be some kind of apology or excuse, something I didn’t want to hear, didn’t want her to say.
I dropped my mouth to hers and stole the words with a kiss. Tess moaned again into my mouth and I wished I could keep her there, connected to me forever.
But her hands dropped from my back and moved to my
