‘It doesn’t sound bad either. He must be in the best hands.’
‘But he didn’t say Jabril’s going to recover.’
Sofia leaned over and took Zahra’s hand. ‘You know he can’t say that, even if he thinks it.’
‘I know. Did you get to talk to him about his wife?’
Sofia let go of Zahra’s hand and sat back. ‘She’s dead.’
‘Then this friend of his was just trying to cause trouble.’
Sofia considered this and shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. I think she really loves him.’
‘Sometimes you’re too generous,’ Zahra said, throwing her hair behind her shoulder before leaning in to squeeze Sofia’s arm. ‘I’m sorry you won’t be able to see Jabril before you go, but you will come back to us, won’t you?’
‘I’ll try.’
‘As you can guess, they’re not publishing the article about Massoud.’
Sofia nodded. ‘I guessed as much.’
‘No one will risk their life for these boys now.’
Although Sofia agreed with Zahra, she didn’t say so. She did, however, need to know her friend was not completely in denial. ‘I’ve got Dr Samar for three months to cover for me but after that … It’s early days, but have you thought about what you might do until Jabril gets better?’
‘Oh,’ Zahra waved Sofia’s concerns away, ‘I’ll have no trouble getting doctors who want to work in an established private practice. Can you believe it? I’ve already had calls.’ Zahra looked over to her friend. ‘I’ll hire someone for a while and see where we go from there. You will come back, won’t you?’
‘I’ll do my best.’
‘He was always such an irritating man.’ Zahra wrapped her arms around her body and began to rock, no longer able to hold back her tears. ‘Seriously, he was irritating, wasn’t he? Tell me he was irritating.’
Sofia smiled. ‘I can see that he would have been for you.’
‘Oh,’ Zahra said, ‘I can’t stop thinking about all the times I was too bossy.’ She looked at Sofia, her eyes pleading. ‘Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?’
‘Zahra,’ she said, unravelling her friend’s arms to take her hands, ‘he would forgive you anything. You were his world.’
Too late, Sofia realised she’d used the past tense.
45
AFTER ZAHRA LEFT Sofia began tidying her files for Dr Samar’s arrival, but as she did, five years of memories came flooding back until she could bear it no longer. Returning the files to their proper place, she locked the cabinets for the last time and sat back in front of her laptop, opening up the one surgery file that only she knew existed. She hesitated. What if she came back? But what if something happened to her? If someone else found it, it would be a catastrophe. She thought of emailing it to herself so she would have a record but decided against it. The information in that file did not belong to her. Taking a deep breath, Sofia pressed the delete button and the secret file recording all the intimate minutiae of her patients’ lives disappeared. She then cleared the trash file and it was gone forever. Closing her laptop, Sofia carried the two chairs she and Zahra had sat on back to the desk, took one last look around the room and walked out, locking the door behind her.
At the bottom of the stairs, Rashid and the policeman were waiting for her while Iman was sitting on the ground beside Iqbal.
‘Can I join you?’ Sofia asked.
‘Of course,’ said Iqbal, moving over, ‘you’re always welcome in my kingdom. Iman tells me you’re leaving soon.’
‘Tonight.’
Iman jumped to her feet. ‘I knew you’d do this. I knew it! Who’ll look after the women when you go?’
‘Dr Samar, and then, if she needs to, Zahra will find someone to take my place, but hopefully I’ll be back before then.’
‘We don’t want someone to take your place. We want you,’ Iman said, staring down at Sofia, who was still sitting on the ground next to Iqbal.
‘I’m sure it won’t be long.’ Sofia reached up to take Iman’s hand but she pulled it out of reach.
‘What about the visa?’
‘I’ll sort that out from Australia.’
‘No, you’ll go back to Australia and you’ll never return.’
‘Why would I do that?’ Sofia said in a calm voice, hoping it would help calm Iman.
‘Because that’s what I’d do.’
‘I have to think I’m coming back or it’s way too hard to leave. Please,’ Sofia said, rising to her feet, ‘it’s not easy for me to say goodbye to you, Iman. Can we not do it like this?’
‘I don’t want to make it easy for you,’ she cried.
‘Iman, if I don’t come back …’ she started, stepping toward the young woman, who just as quickly stepped away. Sofia put out her hand, again trying to calm her. ‘I was just saying that if I don’t come back then perhaps you can see this as an opportunity to go to university. Why don’t we try to turn this into a positive?’
‘I don’t want to turn this into a positive,’ Iman said, her beautiful face flushed with anger as she turned and walked away. ‘I knew you’d leave us,’ she called over her shoulder.
Iqbal, Rashid and Sofia watched her go. ‘I didn’t want our parting to be like that,’ Sofia said, trying unsuccessfully to hold back the tears.
‘She’s young and she loves you, and I don’t think she’s lost anyone she loves before,’ Iqbal said. ‘This generation is soft. They haven’t been through what many of us have. They don’t know how to deal with loss.’
Sofia turned and squatted down to Iqbal’s level again. ‘I’ll miss you, Iqbal.’
‘And I you, and if Allah wishes it we will meet again in this life or the next.’
‘Insha’Allah.’
Wiping her tears, Sofia stood again before turning to look around the square. Babur was still nowhere to be seen, while Hadi had already packed up and gone home. Ahmad was sorting through a box of shoes so she made her way over to him, Rashid and the policeman in tow.
‘I’m sorry, I have to go back to
