Cleo realized that he thought she was afraid of him. How the hell should she explain that she was afraid for him?
He took a deep breath. “Listen,” he said, “all I wanted to say was that I know about shitty families, and being judged for the stupid shit they do. I really don’t get that vibe from you. So I’ll help you, if you want.”
“How?” Cleo asked.
Ian’s grin was rakish. It was an enormously good look on him, and Cleo ignored the little kick in her pulse.
“Jenny and Dante have a ton of books they’ve collected over the years. You can’t get those books at Jenny’s house, but I sure can. They were wrong to turn you down today. I just want to… make things right, particularly if you’re actively trying to help people by curse breaking. That’s no joke.”
“Why would you? I mean, won’t you get into trouble with your family?”
“I won’t lie to them,” he said firmly. “If they ask me what I’m doing, I’ll tell them. But they don’t necessarily need to know, either. I can work in that gray area.”
Cleo mulled it over for a moment, but it was an easy decision. She needed more help, and if help was coming with a nice set of shoulders, she wouldn’t shut it down. But you should shut it down, a little voice whispered, you should before he gets hurt. Cleo pushed it aside.
“I’ve been curious,” Cleo said. “About that ring. Is it yours?”
“It was,” Ian said. “Now it’s just something else I need to get rid of.”
“That’s bleak.”
“Break-ups usually are,” Ian said.
“What made you think it was cursed, though?”
Ian groaned and rubbed his face with one big hand. “I’ve been around too many witches in my life.” His hands spread out in front of him, and he looked where his wedding ring used to be. “I guess… I wished that our breakup was because of something bigger than just…” He paused. Cleo waited. “Bigger than just selfishness,” he said finally.
“Would you get back together with her if it was due to a curse?” Cleo asked.
Ian barked a sharp, angry laugh. “Sarah and me? Not likely. No, we’re done.” He paused, as if weighing his next words. “We were done a long time even before she slept with my business partner.”
Cleo gaped at him. Who would cheat on this man?
“How long have you wondered about the curse?” she asked.
“I… traditionally have been… unlucky with my relationships,” Ian said slowly. “And I wanted to see if it was something other than me.”
“Some curses do affect relationships,” Cleo said, choosing her words very carefully. Her face felt hot, and she hoped she wasn’t giving anything away. “But most of the time, it’s just about people making bad decisions.”
“You have a bad breakup?” Ian asked.
Cleo snorted. “Yeah,” was all she said.
“He was bad to you?” Ian asked, his voice low. “Treated you bad?” His eyebrows drew low over his eyes. He looked like he wanted to hit something. He was so laughably wrong about the situation, it was almost funny.
“No,” she sighed. “It was a long time ago, and I was the one who screwed things up.” And she had, so terribly, driven under the lash of the curse. She’d tried one-night-stands, but they made her feel even more alone, so she’d just stopped. It hurt to remember them, the impersonal touches, the abrupt ending.
“I doubt it was just you,” Ian said.
It hadn’t just been her, had it? But even so, it was her actions. She was just so tired. So very tired. Cleo made a non-committal noise in reply.
Why was she keeping this to herself? This curse wasn’t her fault, but she’d wrapped it under layers and layers of shame for all these years. She’d distanced herself. She’d taken care of the people around her by not triggering it.
But maybe Ian could help her with it. He had access to information she didn’t. He had resources, connected to a powerful and well-established coven. And maybe she was just tired of it, Cleo admitted to herself.
“It hadn’t been all me,” Cleo said. Her hands shook and she lay them flat against the table. Ian hesitated, then covered her hands with his. They were impossibly warm. She reveled in the connection for a moment, just the simple pleasure of being touched by another person. Being touched in kindness and concern. She could’ve wept, but instead she pushed forward.
“I am, that is, my family,” her words came out in a rush of air. “Me and my family, we were cursed. I’m cursed. It affects - everything. Everything.”
She darted a look at Ian’s face. She felt cold, even with her hands still warm around his.
“That’s why you started curse breaking,” Ian said.
“Yes,” Cleo said, “but my coven doesn’t know. I didn’t know how to tell them. I wasn’t sure if they would want to join.”
“What does the curse do?” Ian asked.
Cleo laughed, a high, unhinged sound. Careful, careful, she warned herself. “It takes anything good, any relationship, and sinks it. It sinks it hard.”
“How so?” Ian asked carefully. His wariness irritated her. She felt disconnected from herself and the emotions rushing through her: fear, worry, sorrow. In that disconnect, it almost felt like it was happening to someone else. She couldn’t staunch the flow of emotion cresting through her.
She tried to focus back on Ian. The question. He’d asked her a question. “If I get too close, it… breaks me, I guess. It makes me go crazy. I get so angry and obsessive. Or I hate them obsessively. That’s why my family is all assholes, I guess. We’re cursed and have no magical coping skills.” Cleo tried to breathe through the rising waves of crazy. Lust was tangled through all of it. She wanted Ian, wanted him in her, and that want was just amplified by the curse.
“You can’t break the curse on your own,” Ian said. “Have you tried to suppress it? Is that
