“I can’t give you a relationship,” Cleo admitted. “But I can give you this.”
“Everything has a cost,” Ian said.
“I know how capitalism works, thank you,” Cleo snarked before she could stop herself.
His smile was fond and tinged with sadness. He raised his gorgeous dark eyes, and Cleo was pinned to that spot under the force of his attention. She couldn’t have moved if she wanted to. “I don’t want to pay this price, though,” he said. So calmly, like he wasn’t ripping out her heart.
“What’s that mean?” Cleo asked.
“I’ve been through this before. I’ve tried to make it work when I wanted this more than my partner. I can’t do it again, Cleo. Not with you, and not with anyone. With my ex-wife, with Sarah, she wasn’t willing to try. With you, you’re scared to try. I get why, your reasons are… The reasons don’t matter, do they? The result is the same. In the end, I’ll be with someone, wanting more than they can give.”
Cleo felt numb. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Ian had been so generous to her with his time and attention. He’d connected her with his aunt, and Dante. She was the one who pulled away. That was her thing, not his.
“I still think this could be okay.” The waver in her voice surprised her. She hadn’t meant for him to hear that.
His smile grew soft, and impossibly fond. His eyes, however, were sad. “Not for me. It wouldn’t be okay for me.”
The pressure in Cleo’s chest was unbearable now. Years of congested feelings accumulated and twisted behind her ribs. If she didn’t leave now, she’d cry in front of him. And that was never, ever going to happen.
“Cool,” she said. “Cool, cool, cool.” Goddess, she was a wreck. “Yeah… I’m fine with this. Totally fine, by the way. This is okay.” Cleo tucked her hands into her back pockets and rocked on her toes. She rearranged her features into something nonchalant. She thumbed towards her door. “I’m just gonna… yeah.” On her way out, she called, “See you later neighbor!”
Fuck. Fuckity fucky fuck.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Siobhan was in the kitchen eating half a sandwich. She had the perpetually hungry look when she was too anxious to eat. Her lanky body looked overly stretched. It was Cleo’s least favorite look for her sister.
Without saying anything, Cleo reached into the cabinet and snagged the bag of chips she got for Siobhan. Siobhan couldn’t resist them. That’s precisely why Cleo bought them. Cleo ripped open the bag and added a generous portion to her sister’s plate.
Siobhan gave her best flat, unimpressed look, but Cleo knew the green speckled chips were calling to Siobhan. Siobhan ended the staring contest by cramming a handful into her mouth.
“Happy?” Siobhan asked drily.
Cleo would’ve laughed if she wasn’t so entirely, completely wrung out.
“Not so much,” she replied. She snuck a few chips out of the bag for herself. The distraction didn’t help, and she balled up the bag and returned it to the shelf.
“Where have you been lately?” Cleo asked.
Siobhan chewed like it required her entire attention. Cleo was not fooled and waited in silence. The quiet stretched, became weird and uncomfortable, and Cleo knew the precise moment it broke Siobhan. Siobhan took a swig of water, her eyes narrowed on Cleo’s face.
“Stuff’s been going on with Mom. I’ve been talking to Dante about it,” she said finally.
Cleo didn’t expect that. “What’s happening? And why Dante?”
Siobhan’s eyes shifted, and she tucked her hands under her legs. “I’m… not sure yet. Mom’s new boyfriend is freakier than the others. And… I don’t know. I’m figuring it out.”
“Figuring things out. With Dante. Who’s a magical genius.”
Siobhan flushed. “He’s nice.” Cleo gave a tired snicker. “Okay, he’s not nice, but he’s helpful. The ultra- competent type. And he’s helping me.”
“No, he’s helping me. He helped me when he didn’t need to. Why’s he so helpful?”
“You’re the most suspicious person I’ve ever met. Maybe because he’s a good person?”
Cleo waited her out.
“Maybe he has his own reasons, fine. But I’ll figure that out. For now, I’m glad for the help.”
“Magical help?”
Siobhan gave her usual reflexive response, “Magic isn’t real, Cleo.” But Cleo could tell Siobhan’s heart wasn’t into it. Her sister’s brow was furrowed, the tiny line between her eyebrows a dead giveaway.
“What’s happening with Ian,” Siobhan asked. Cleo wasn’t interested in that shift of topic. But Siobhan had the anxious look of a skinny caged animal, so she allowed it. As long as it kept her sister in the kitchen, nibbling on her lunch.
“What’s happening with Ian is a whole lot of nothing. He wants, like, a ‘relationship,’” Cleo made air quotes.
“And… that’s so unreasonable of him?”
“Of course it is! He wants, I don’t know, intimacy and emotional honesty. Dumb stuff like that.”
“Again, why is that bad?”
“Because I don’t know how to do that! I can’t give him something I don’t know anything about.” Cleo flushed, hearing how ridiculous she sounded. “He’s so pushy.”
“Sis, that man is a lot of things, but he’s not pushy. It sounds like,” Siobhan hesitated, clearly picking her words carefully. “I’m going to say something, and don’t get crazy.”
“That guarantees a crazy response,” Cleo said.
Siobhan took a deep breath. “I might kind of, sort of, in a way believe in thatthingthatyousay,” Siobhan’s words ran together in an incomprehensible jumble.
“I know that admitting I’m right is a physically painful experience for you, but speak clearly,” Cleo said.
Siobhan closed her eyes. She looked small, and frightened. “I saw the markings on your chest, Cleo. I heard the others talk about it. I think… that perhaps there is something happening that I don’t wholly understand.”
“Magic is real,” Cleo supplied.
“Unexplained phenomena are real, certainly,” Siobhan said. Cleo wanted to laugh. Her sister was incapable of
