She finally relented with a sharp nod, and I let go of her. She drew in a ragged breath and then reached up to touch my forehead. Light burst in front of my eyes and warmth flooded my skull, radiating out from Jophiel’s touch as memories rushed through my mind. My anger washed away, replaced with a potent mix of happiness, pain, and grief, and I nearly stumbled under the weight of it. Within seconds I was hit with everything from the relief of finding my mate alive again, to the joy of being with her every moment I could, to the heartbreak of losing her.
I stepped back and bent over, gripping my head, as the memories consumed me. Our first meeting, our first kiss, our first time making love. Long talks into the night where she made me question my beliefs. Flying together, her wings silvery white against the moonlight. And then losing her in a way too painful to even focus on.
When all of it faded to a bearable level, I was left with the true knowledge of Hannah’s angelic life, and what the two of us had shared together.
And everything we’d lost.
My anger returned with greater fervor than before, making it hard for me to even think. An entire life with Hannah had been erased from my memories by Jophiel, who had no right to do such a thing. I held myself tense as I spoke through gritted teeth, then lifted my red eyes to Jophiel again. “How dare you? You’ve hidden this from me for years. Not to mention what you did to Hannah…”
“I only did it to protect her!” Jophiel said, as she stepped back from my rising darkness. There was nowhere for her to go. Her back hit the door and she glowed brighter, but she wasn’t a fighter. Not really. We both knew she had no chance against me.
“I should make you pay for what you’ve done.” My magic gathered around me as my wings unfurled, my darkness eager to do my bidding. I breathed through it, the desire to lash out and punish her for her actions almost overwhelming every other thought in my head. It would be so easy to let the darkness tear her apart limb by limb, a fitting punishment for her crimes, which I now knew went above and beyond erasing memories. But then I thought of Hannah in the other room, and the way she’d jumped in front of me to save this wretched angel. No matter what Jophiel had done, they were sisters, and I couldn’t hurt her.
I reined in my dark desires with effort. When I folded my wings and snapped them away, the shadows receded. “I won’t punish you.” Then I smiled, and not in a nice way. “No, I’ll let Hannah do that when she learns what you’ve done.”
Jophiel shuddered a little, but then looked me in the eye. “We both know my actions have kept her alive this long. Leave Hannah here with me. I can protect her better than you can.”
“Never,” I growled. “Her place is by my side.”
The second I said the words, doubt crept in. Perhaps the angels could do a better job of keeping Hannah safe. I’d done a shit job at it for thousands of years, after all. This newly remembered life of hers only proved that even more. Every time she was reborn, I swore to myself I’d protect her and that this time it would be different, and then I failed. Over and over.
My memories weighed heavily on me as though they were as fresh as the day they were created, and though I detested Jophiel, I knew she would protect Hannah with her life. Yet I couldn’t give up my mate completely either.
I moved to the window beside Jophiel’s desk. “I’ll leave Hannah with you…for now. But when she wishes to return to me, you must allow her to do so.”
She sniffed, back to being haughty. “Shall we make a deal for her time, like you did with Demeter over Persephone?”
I should have known she’d get in one last jab by reminding me of that mistake. “I’m done making deals.”
I pinned her with a dark look, before turning to shadows once again and heading outside, into the night. I hovered there, invisible to any mortal who might look up at the sky, as I watched Hannah through the library windows.
Children walked along the street below me in their costumes, many of them dressed as the creatures of the night I ruled over, while Hannah leafed through book after book. Reading about me, no doubt.
Halloween had always been my favorite of Earth’s holidays—a night when everyone embraced their inner wickedness and allowed themselves to love the darkness. Tonight though, it was me who was haunted.
My chest ached as I watched Hannah, wishing I could go to her, but doing my best to respect her wishes. I reached out as though I could touch her, imagining her soft skin under my fingertips, then clenched my hand into a fist. Damn this curse. It had killed her hundreds of times, putting her through so much agony, more than any one mind could possibly bear. No wonder she could only see glimpses of her past in her dreams. Anything more would shatter her mind. And me? The curse had destroyed me emotionally over and over, hundreds of times throughout the years, and would continue to destroy me still.
Could I go through this again? Could she? How many more times must we suffer?
Perhaps it was time to end this curse…but I didn’t know if I could bring myself to do the only thing that would stop it.
The price was far too high. A sacrifice, and one I’m not sure I could make.
28
Hannah
Sunlight
