“Seriously,” he adds.
“I’m not sure—not really. I want to feel safe, but no matter where I go…” I press my lips together to keep them from quivering and shake my head with tears in my eyes. “I have to call my mom and let her know what’s going on, but she’ll be asleep until around three, so I’ll wait. I don’t want to wake her. She’s been so stressed lately, and this will just add to it and I’m afraid—I don’t know how she’ll handle it.”
Stokes nods and Stevie sits by his feet, waiting to get scratched. “I can understand that. What your neighbour’s been doing is so disturbing. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad you found out. I mean, it explains everything, doesn’t it?”
I shrug.
“I mean, not the car with the tinted windows, but that guy might not have been here for you at all.”
I cock my head to the side, about to come back with confirmation that I know what I saw. That he followed me to my house. That he was parked out front, watching me, but I can’t confirm it. I can only wait to hear from Officer Corden or wait until I see it again and call them again, but he might leave before they show, again.
I shake my head and march to the kitchen.
“Lyn, I didn’t mean to make it out to be just a misunderstanding. I’m just saying, your neighbour might have been following you. He might have been watching you even more than you knew.”
“Yeah,” I say without bothering to raise my voice as I turn the coffee pot on.
“Well hey, I don’t want to take a risk that I’m wrong, and I don’t want you to be right, either. I’ll stay with you until your mom gets back, no problem. If you want to perform with us tonight, I’ll be there for you, and if you don’t, then I’ll be here for you.”
I walk back to the living room and stop in the doorway. “You’d just not show up to the show tonight to be here with me?”
He nods and licks his lips. “Lyn, this is real. You were being violated, and we don’t know if this is over with your neighbour or not, but I don’t want you to have to be alone. I want to make sure you’re safe.”
The Stokes I thought I knew in high school is back, only better. More mature, kind, considerate. But is he really genuine?
“Even at the cost of your show?”
“Your safety means more to me than a show. If something happened…” He shakes his head and turns away, toward the front windows. “I wouldn’t forgive myself.”
He doesn’t want to believe me, that there could be someone else out there, watching me, but he believes I believe I’m still in danger. And he’s willing to sacrifice the show, disappoint his bandmates and the fans, not to mention Jamie and the bar.
I smile, stopping in front of him. “Stokes, that’s—I don’t know what to say.” He didn’t let me down last night or today, and I can’t let him down. “I’ll do it,” I say in a low voice and turn to the kitchen as the smell of coffee wafts toward me. “I’ll do it as long as we have good security and you come right home with me after the show. Is that a deal?”
“Of course,” he says, following me into the kitchen.
I take out two mugs and pour us each some of the piping hot liquid. “I really appreciate you being here for me. I still want to do the show. I want to sing one of my songs—and then—that’s it. I just don’t think I could handle more right now.”
“Just tonight.” He nods and leans against the counter. “Totally get it. I’ll finish this and take a shower here if that’s okay?”
“Yeah, you could put on one of Ron’s shirts. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”
“Cool, thanks. Be right back down, okay?”
I nod and he takes his coffee mug back to the living room, folding up his sheets off the couch, prepping the area for the band.
The band. I don’t want them to know about this. Not before my mom does.
“Hey Stokes?” I call.
“Mhmm?”
I walk to the living room, stopping in the foyer with my mug of coffee warming my hands. “Could we keep what happened last night just between us?”
“Sure.”
Thank you, I mouth, and take Stevie to the back door. The officer hadn’t even dusted it for prints. Had it been a real break-in, or was it Alex, using his key to let himself in here?
Why did he do that with the lamb and fake blood? Was he getting thrills out of scaring me and then watching me squirm through the window to my bedroom? Does he get some sort of enjoyment from that? And nothing’s going to happen to him. He won’t be held accountable unless I can prove it. I didn’t have my phone to take a picture. I couldn’t do anything. Now he just gets to—what—keep watching me?
I shudder at the thought of the pictures he took and being in this house without me knowing.
Stokes is right, it’s a violation. I don’t know if I can stay here knowing he’s right next door.
Just one last show tonight, and I’ll be able to say I sang one of my songs for people—a large group of people. Maybe people with pain like mine who could use some healing like I can.
One last show and then two more days until Mom comes home.
I take a sip, the coffee warming my tongue, and sigh.
How am I going to tell her about all this?
Chapter 20
I lie in bed,
twisted fantasies, realities,
come crashing down on me.
I took your hand,
warm blood running cold,
I’m getting old,
but you can’t see.
He took you from me.
As Stokes showers, I bring my navy notebook into the living room
