Mine.
My abs contort under my shirt as her hand sneaks down my torso, palming me through my jeans. Her touch feels so damn good, but if she doesn’t quit massaging my cock, I’m going to throw her down and fuck her so hard she’ll break. The music muffles our sounds, but her parents would definitely hear that. Reluctantly, I release her hair and reach down to stop her.
“Please,” she whispers. “I want to.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want your first time to be like this. You deserve soft and sweet, Goldi, and that’s not me. You know that’s not me. But I’m gonna try like hell to give it to you.”
She freezes, teeth indenting her lower lip. “You… I…” She runs her fingers through her tangled hair. “Chase, I’m not a virgin.”
My body jerks off the bed. Goldi falls to the side from the sudden movement. “Who the fuck with?”
She rolls onto her back, her hands smacking down on the mattress. “No! You don’t get to ask me that! I’m not over here askin’ for your list of a thousand hussies.”
My teeth grind so hard they’ll turn to dust any moment. I breathe deep, attempting to calm the beast inside. It’s true. I have no right. But I feel fucking ill. I was too much of a pussy to take what should have been mine, and she gave it away to someone else.
I tug my hair, sighing. “You’re right.”
She props up on her elbows, fighting the smile that’s curling her mouth. “That’s usually the case.”
I bend down, leaning over the bed until my arms are on either side of her head. “Let’s talk about more important things, like how sexy you look when you come.”
She giggles, reaching up, and sweeping a kiss across my lips. It’s just a peck, but my chest cracks wide open, flooding with happiness I’ll never deserve.
I can’t offer her anything, can’t give her the world. But I can’t let her go either, so I’ll lay my bruised soul at her feet, and hope she tends to the wounds.
It’s always been hers, anyway.
8
Alina
Sixteen Years Old
I’m Chase Adams’s girl.
Those are four words I never thought I’d say.
I can’t stop smiling. Last night, after the high wore off, I was terrified of him running again. After all, it’s what he’s programmed me to expect. Instead, he admitted how tired he was of fighting what’s between us. Said I was his and he was mine, and that’s all there is to it. Maybe it makes me a sucker, but I believe him. Chase is a lot of things, but he’s never been a liar.
“So, let me get this straight, Alina May.” Becca squints while she sits on the brown leather couch in my living room. “You went out and had an amazin’ date with Reed. Gorgeous, charmin’, totally fuckable, Reed. Am I right so far?”
“Yep.”
“He wooed, you swooned. He was a perfect gentleman, not even sneakin’ a titty grab all night and then… Bam!” She smacks her hands together. “The King of Assholes waltzes in, only after someone else shows interest, by the way, and you just jump in his arms and run off to live happily-ever-after?” Her voice is pinched, eyebrows raised so high they blend into her fiery hairline.
I sigh. “Becca, it’s not like that.”
“Then what’s it like?”
“Listen, I like Reed. I truly do, and in a perfect world where my head rules my heart and not the other way around, he’d be the best choice for me. But Chase is my person, Becca. If he’s willin’ to give us a chance, I have to see where it leads. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, otherwise.”
“Look, all I’m sayin’ is this thing with Chase—it has heartbreak written all over it, sister. I’ve watched you pine for years while he tore you up, and I’m supposed to, what? Just forget all that, and suddenly be okay with this? No,” she shakes her head, “I don’t think I can.”
“I’m not askin’ you to. Honestly, Becca, it’s not your choice. I’ve wanted Chase to be mine for as long as I can remember. I don’t think I’ll ever feel for anyone a fraction of the way I feel for him. He’s it for me.”
“He has issues, Alina.”
“Who doesn’t?”
She rolls her eyes and I snap. “Rebecca Jean, you’re my best friend, but I swear to all that’s holy if you don’t get off your high horse, and at least pretend to be supportive, I’ll kick your butt straight out that door.” I point toward the front entry, disappointment coloring my insides because she can’t see how happy I am. “I’m not gonna sit here and justify my actions to you. Just ‘cause you have issues with commitment, doesn’t mean everyone else has to.”
She scoffs. “I don’t have issues with commitment. I just don’t do commitment. There’s a difference, honey. The church has me trapped enough.” She wrinkles her nose, placing a hand on my arm. “Look, I’m sorry, Lee. I just worry. But if you’re happy, I’m happy.”
I blow out a breath, “Thank you.”
“So… what was it like? And don’t leave out the details.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “I’ll just pretend when you talk about Chase’s dick that it’s Brad Pitt’s.”
I grab a throw pillow from beside me and toss it at her, laughing.
The doorbell rings. I get up to answer. Becca follows, saying she needs to get going before her folks send out a search party. I open the door and find Chase, one arm raised along the frame, his body towering over mine.
“Hey.” His grin is wide, those dang dimples on full display.
“Hi.” My stomach flutters, lips curling.
He doesn’t move to step inside, and I don’t move to let him. We just stand in the doorway, smiling wide, locked in the others’ gaze.
Becca chuckles. “Good God Almighty, y’all make me sick.”
We ignore her.
“Okay, okay, I can take
