The Watering Hole.
Of course. The perfect ending to a perfect day. I set the bottle back down, eyeing it longingly as I accept the call.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Lee.”
I sigh, “Hi, Johnny. Daddy need a ride?”
“Yeah. He uhh… isn’t takin’ too kindly to being cut off. It’s not a good night.”
I bang my forehead on the table, praying that I’ll wake up and this day will have been a nightmare. “Okay, I’m on my way.”
Daddy’s sitting in his usual spot at the bar when I arrive. He’s hunched around a glass of water, glaring at Johnny who’s at the other end, pouring drinks.
“Daddy.”
His head lolls over and he gazes at me through hazy eyes. “Gail?”
Bad night, indeed.
“No Daddy, it’s me. Alina.” I reach out to put my hand on his back, but he shrugs me off.
He snarls. “They’re always callin’ you out here, like a… a goddamned babysitter. Go home, I’m just fine.” His words are slurred, but years of practice have tuned my ears to understand the garble.
“You’re not fine, and you’re lucky Johnny hasn’t banned you from this place. Let’s just get you home where you can get a good night’s rest.” I reach out again, looping my arm through his to support his weight as I pull him from the stool.
He complains but doesn’t resist. I mouth “thank you” at Johnny while I walk Daddy out. It isn’t until we’re in my car that I feel like I can breathe again.
After I get him settled at the house, I head straight to the cemetery to visit Mama. When Daddy’s at his worst, being next to her, if only in spirit, is the only balm that soothes my soul.
“Hey, Mama.”
My back’s against her headstone, and I finger the wilting flowers next to me. “Sorry I didn’t bring any tulips, this wasn’t exactly a planned visit. I just needed someone to talk to, I guess.”
I lean my head back, staring at the stars. “You know what’s funny, Mama? There hasn’t been a single night in the past eight years where I’ve been able to see stars and not think of Chase. Not once. In eight freakin’ years. But then last night, I sat on my patio and counted as many stars as I could find without him ever crossin’ my mind.” I huff out a laugh. “Joke’s on me, huh?”
I don’t say anything else, just close my eyes and try to find some peace. Hoping she can calm the storm that’s swirling inside me. I kiss my palm and press it against the engraving of her name. “I love you, Mama. I won’t ask if you’ve got any pull up there… not tonight. I’ll save that for our usual visit. Give you some time to come up with a different answer.” I smile softly, even though I feel the pain of loss sneaking through the cracks of my heart.
Jax calls on the way home. Complaining about that producer and his daughter again. I don’t want to make his mood worse by bringing up Chase. So I don’t.
There’s always tomorrow.
25
Chase
“What’s wrong?” Marissa asks, frowning through the screen of my phone.
“Nothing’s wrong. Just tired, it was a long day.”
“How was your first day on that new project?”
Shit. Why’d I have to answer when she FaceTimed? The last thing I want to talk about with Marissa is how my day went. How the fuck am I supposed to tell my girlfriend that my entire world was upended when Goldi came crashing back into it?
I lay on the bed and spew out random words, hoping they sound convincing. “It was good. I think it will be pretty easy, the owner’s already got all the classes shut down. It’s just an empty building, waiting for the reno.”
“That’s nice. Do they have a designer you’re working with? Or should I offer my services?” She giggles. I know she’s joking, but the thought of her being in the same place as Goldi has me feeling sick. “So listen,” she continues, “I got an invitation in the mail today for Sam’s retirement party. Were you ever going to tell me about it?”
“What do you mean, tell you about it? I’ve only been back home for three days, Marissa. The party isn’t until next month.”
“I know. But… Well, do you want me to come?”
Not really. “If you want to,” I sigh. “Listen, can we talk about this later? I’m beat.”
“Okay. I’ll start planning to take that weekend off so I can come down and stay. It will be fun! I’m excited to see where you grew up.”
Nausea fights through the tightness in my throat. I should feel good about my girlfriend coming to visit. I’ve been trying to convince myself that it’s time to really make a go of things with Marissa. She’s been wanting more, and there’s no reason why I shouldn’t try to find happiness. It will be a good thing, having her here. Allow me to make new memories so I can focus on the future. Not fixate on feelings from the past.
I hang up the phone and stare at the ceiling. I hadn’t even thought about Sam’s retirement party. Anna only told me about it yesterday. I had no idea she sent out invitations already. I wonder if Goldi will be there. It’s a small town, and my family has always been close to hers.
To say I was stunned when she walked into the office is putting it mildly. If I ever had any doubt about the strength of our connection, it was put to bed after seeing her again. One look was all it took for my soul to light on fucking fire, and my skin to prickle with the need to feel her against me.
I walk over to the en suite,
