“Daddy, stop it.” Her voice cracks as she reaches out again, and again he smacks her off him. I blow out a breath and stand up. I’ve officially had enough. I’m about to intervene when I glance at Goldi. Her shoulders are tight and her face is stone—mask firmly in place. I’ve seen that mask before. Hell, I’ve worn it. I know the suffocation of trying to breathe underneath.
Johnny walks up, slinging a towel over his shoulder. “Hey, Lee.”
She sighs, throwing up a half-hearted wave. “Hi, Johnny. Thanks for callin’.”
“No problem.” He pauses like he doesn’t want to say what he’s about to. “Listen, Lee… I can’t keep lettin’ this happen. It’s no good for business and to be frank, it’s irresponsible on my part to keep servin’ someone who clearly doesn’t need the drink.”
“I get it.” She nods. “But, what am I supposed to do?” Her voice is a whisper and her eyes are glassy. I’m sure she’s trying to keep me from hearing. She turns toward her father. “Did you hear that, Daddy? You’ve gone and lost your favorite bar with the way you been actin’.”
Mr. Carson doesn’t react. He’s gone from mildly coherent to passed out on the bar top. Jesus. Goldi shakes his shoulder and gets nothing more than a grunt. She peeks over, her body rigid, obviously uncomfortable with me witnessing her vulnerability. Doesn’t she know I’m the last person who would judge her for this?
“Daddy, come on.” She shakes his shoulder again.
I make a split-second decision and lightly put my hands on her hips, ignoring the way the contact singes my fingertips as I move her to the side. I put her dad’s arm around my shoulder and hoist him up. She protests but I silence her with a look. “I’ve got him, Alina. Please, just let me help.”
She sucks in a breath, analyzing the way I let her father’s weight rest against my side. She closes her eyes and dips her head. “Yeah, okay. I’m parked right out front.”
I half-walk, half-carry Mr. Carson outside, and get him settled in before I close the door and turn to face her. She stands behind me, keys in her hand, chin high. Her eyes steeled like she’s preparing for battle. Whether it’s against me or her father, I don’t know.
“You good?” I ask.
“Yep.”
“I’m staying at Sam and Anna’s if you need anything, okay?”
She runs her fingers through her hair. “Look, we’ve been fine since you’ve been gone. Actually, since before you were gone. You can’t just show back up years later and think I’ll be waitin’ around for you to come save me. I’m not.”
“I know you’re not.” I shrug. “But I know how hard it can be.” I gesture toward her passed out dad in the car.
She stiffens. “You don’t know anything.”
My heart turns to lead, sinking inside me at the strength of her resentment. “Fair enough.”
I stuff my hands in my pockets and watch as she rounds the car. It’s only when she’s long gone that I finally move back inside.
A few hours later I’m back home, surfing channels. There’s nothing on, but I settle on Hoarders: Buried Alive. I need something to take my mind off the ache my soul feels knowing Goldi would rather suffer in silence than accept my help.
I’m about to grab a drink when there’s a knock on the door. I glance up the stairs, hoping the noise doesn’t wake Sam and Anna. Who the fuck would be here this late?
I’m stunned into silence when I see who it is.
“Hey.” Goldi looks up at me through her lashes, and I swear my fucking heart skips a beat. She’s so goddamn beautiful.
“Can we talk?”
28
Alina
My palms won’t stop sweating. I don’t know why I’m here, standing in the middle of Chase’s living room. When I was driving Daddy home, the night kept playing on a loop in my mind. Getting the call from Johnny. The way my chest caved in when I saw Chase. Me, selfishly letting my emotions get in the way of him helping.
So, here I am. Attempting to swallow down my pride long enough to apologize. Just say what you came here to say. “I was unfair to you earlier tonight.”
His brows lift, but that’s the only response I get. I grind my teeth as my anxiety rises. The shame over what he saw threatening to drown me. “I should have told you I’m grateful for your help. With Daddy, that is.”
He’s silent. Still just staring at me from across the room.
“Say somethin’!” I smack my thighs.
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know, call me a bitch or… or tell me it’s okay. That you forgive me.”
He sighs, wiping his hand across his mouth. “Out of the two of us, Alina, you’re not the one who needs absolution.”
His words surprise me. They roll around in my head, and I’d like to pretend I feel nothing. But the twinge in my chest lets me know that’s not quite true. Regardless, I’m not here to talk about the sins of our past. “I don’t wanna talk about any of that. I just—I got Daddy home and then I realized I never even thanked you. So, thank you, I guess. You didn’t have to do what you did.”
I shuffle my feet, my hands going to my back pockets. His eyes are searing, leaving me raw and exposed. It’s uncomfortable. Finally, after a few torturous moments, he breaks his gaze, grabbing his keys off the rack on the wall. “Will you come with me somewhere?”
“What?” I breathe. I came over here to apologize, not to torment myself by spending hours in his presence. I don’t know if I can be around him and pretend the scars I wear weren’t made by him.
“Just… come with me somewhere. I’d like to continue our conversation, but I don’t want to wake
