He hits deeper this way. He plunges in, his hips speeding up.
If he keeps doin’ that…
My orgasm races through my body like wildfire, touching every part of me. I clench around him, my body spasming.
“Fuck, Goldi.”
He moves faster, slamming inside me with sharp thrusts, chasing his own high. My ears are ringing and my body feels fuzzy as I admire him. I run my fingers along the lines of his face, every dip and curve of his high cheekbones and his sharp jaw. Down the crease between his eyes. Over that scar in his eyebrow, the one I’ve wanted to trace since the moment we met.
His body shivers. “Tell me you love me, Goldi.”
I lean up as far as I can, whispering it against his skin. “I love you.”
His body jerks, his rhythm faltering. I say it again. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“Fuck.” His thrusts turn erratic, his need trumping his skill, and I squeeze around him, trying to bring him over the edge.
His mouth parts, his eyes roll back and he lets out the sexiest groan, his muscles flexing against me. He pulses deep inside me as he explodes. I moan at the feeling.
He collapses, and I can feel his heartbeat against my chest.
Soft kisses press into the crook of my neck. “How you feeling, Goldi?”
Despite everything that’s happened today, there’s only one emotion I feel right now.
I smile.
“Happy.”
I wake up to a text from Eli.
Eli: Picked up Pops this morning. Can you come by and talk? We all need to sit down and it should happen today.
I roll my eyes at his demand, but know he isn’t wrong. As much as I want to stay in Chase’s bed and forget the rest of the world forever, I need to face things head-on.
He gave me his house key and said he wants me waiting in his bed when he gets back tonight from Nashville. He offered to skip the trip, but I don’t want to be the reason he misses his therapy session and group. Plus, I told him to handle whatever he needs to with his ex to make sure she gets the message. Trust.
He kisses me goodbye on his front doorstep and hugs me tight. “I’m so fucking proud of you. Go handle your shit, Goldi, and don’t let them drag you back down. You aren’t meant to wither away in the shadow of someone else’s demons. You’re meant to shine.”
The darkness tries to seep in my conscience and steal my light on the drive to Daddy’s, but I don’t let it. I focus on the way Chase makes me feel instead. The way I’m beginning to feel about myself.
I park the car and let Chase’s words wrap around me, so even if I stagger, his voice will cushion my fall.
With a deep breath, I walk in the front door.
The smell of coffee brewing makes me nostalgic. I follow the sound of clangs and muffled voices and find Eli and Daddy sitting in the kitchen. Eli is dressed for the day, looking sharp in a button-down and dark blue jeans. Daddy is still in his clothes from the night before, looking greasy and worn, his head in his hands as his elbows rest on the table. Sarah is nowhere to be found.
“Hi, y’all,” I greet them as I sit down.
Daddy’s head pops up and his eyes meet mine. The baby blues are bloodshot, but they’re clear and alert for the first time since Mama died. I suck in a breath, surprised he hasn’t started numbing his pain.
“Alina,” he rasps.
“Hi, Daddy. How ya feelin?” My lips curl into a sad smile, and I don’t really know what to say. I’m not used to handling him sober, my attempt at conversation is rusty after all these years.
“Thanks for comin’, honey.” My stomach jumps at the term of endearment. My eyes bounce to Eli, his jaw muscle tensing as he watches us. Daddy’s voice brings my attention back to him.
“I have some things I needa say, and you can take ‘em or leave ‘em, I guess. I don’t… I don’t deserve your time.” His hand comes up to wipe his mouth. “I’m messed up.”
My eyes widen, my palms becoming clammy as I grip my thighs under the table. What is goin’ on?
“Your mama…” his voice breaks. “Your mama was the best part of me. She pushed down the bad and brought out everything good. I never thought I’d have to learn to live without her. I guess we all know I never learned anyway. She’s been gone for damn—damn near a decade and she’d be ashamed of what I’ve become.” Tears line his lower lids and one spills over, dripping down his stubbled face.
“Daddy,” I breathe. I’m stunned.
He puts up his hand. “No, no. Lemme finish. I don’t think I can say it more than once.” He gulps his coffee, staring into the black liquid while he continues to talk. “I woke up this mornin’ with a poundin’ in my head, a sickness in my heart, and Bud the deputy tellin’ me that I damn near killed a family.”
I purse my lips, trying to keep it together while he talks.
“My first thought was to grab the nearest bottle and drown myself until I was sinkin’ in the numbness. That’s still what I want more than anything. But…” His eyes flick up to me. “My second thought was the guilt. I’m responsible for hurtin’ those people last night. And then as I laid there in that cell, waitin’ for someone to come and bail me out… all I could think about is how all these years, I’ve made you feel the exact same way.”
I suck in a stuttered breath and the dam bursts, years
