“But. You. Still. Did,” Lucca bitched, slamming into me with each word. “We all almost lost her because of how badly you hurt her.”
“I know that. I know this is all because of me. I know how badly I hurt her. I know I want to die without her. I know how badly I fucked up. I would give anything to be where you are, and I don’t mean inside of her. I would give up my magic if she would take me back again!”
Lucca and Darby both froze, making me chill a bit enough to catch up with what was being said instead of focusing so much on what they were doing to me.
And when what he’d said hit me, I couldn’t even process it. “You can’t mean that. You love magic so much more than you ever loved me. Hell, you were drawn to me for my magic from the beginning.” It hurt to finally truly admit that, but my heart had long since known that and made excuses for him.
I didn’t need to anymore. We weren’t together.
“That’s not—”
I ignored him and pushed the hands off of me. “I don’t want to do this. I’m not—I never tried to hurt any of you. This isn’t enjoyable for me.”
“I’m sorry,” Lucca sighed. “I lost—”
“I know,” I forgave. I understood, but I just didn’t want to get into it. And I didn’t want to rehash the awesome sex that had gotten ruined.
He gently pulled out of me as Darby backed off as well, but then they both froze, startling me until I realized what had happened.
Craftsman. He had frozen them like I had the whole party so many months ago.
Tears filled my eyes as I scrambled to find my dress.
“Please, don’t cry, love,” he begged me as he moved closer.
I wanted to scream at him for making me feel like this and pushing me when I was naked, but then I realized he’d found my dress on the floor and was handing it to me… While averting his eyes. I quickly took it and pulled it on, mumbling something close to a thanks.
He chuckled. “Only you would thank me for your dress when I broke the lock on your portal to come to you and then watched you have sex because I couldn’t turn away. Only you wouldn’t kill me right now for being such a bloody git.”
“Why are you here, Doc?” I whispered, not having the energy to get into it.
“I love you, Tasmin.”
I closed my eyes, my heart hurting at hearing those words from him. I ached to feel them for real, but I didn’t. I didn’t believe him or feel he really loved me if he could have treated me how he did and let it all die. I flinched when I felt him touch me, quickly sniffling as I wiped my eyes. “What we had is gone. It wasn’t ever…”
He searched my aura and I bit back a curse, realizing I’d taken off all my charms when I’d gotten home and so now he could see the truth from me. I’d been careful to hide so much from him for months, but now he could see. “It was real. It was everything you thought it was. I just—”
“I can’t do this,” I begged him. I moved my hands over my face and broke down crying. “Please, please stop. I can’t keep—we’ve been apart longer than we were together, Julian. It still hurts so much, and I can’t—please let me go so I can heal. I’m trying to heal from how badly you crushed me. I want my soul to stop being so fractured.”
“It’s because I have a piece of it,” he choked out, pulling me along the counter and hugging me. “As you have mine, my sweet fairy. I might not have a tell like a shifter or dragon, that’s certain, but you’re my mate as much as you are theirs. I know it. I can’t give that back to you because we are meant to be. I will heal what I broke and love you as you deserve.”
I couldn’t argue with him anymore, and I didn’t believe him… So I simply broke down sobbing against him. It helped nothing and I felt stupid doing it, but it just came out. I cried to him about him and what he’d done to me.
No, that didn’t make any sense to me either.
“I meant what I said,” he whispered when I started to calm down, holding me tightly still and petting my hair. “I would give up my magic to be with you, have you love me again. I would give up everything. Nothing else matters without you, Tamsin.”
I shook my head. “I don’t believe that. It’s heartache. It clouds everything. If you—if we healed, this wouldn’t seem so bad in a few months, a year even. You love your magic and your job. Both were more important than—”
He mashed his mouth to mine and for a moment, I didn’t react or push him away. I let him kiss me but I didn’t return it… I didn’t think I did. No, I didn’t.
But then I sort of did. I wasn’t sure what really happened, but then I stopped it.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “That was unfair.”
I bit back a snort. All of this was and that he apologized for? Really?
Men.
I wasn’t sure what I might have said because he was ripped away from me, Zack standing there and looking scary, truly scary, for once. Even I flinched away from him, and he was my friend and guard.
“Enough, Craftsman. I know you love her, but your love is toxic to her as it is. You cannot be this selfish with—”
“I know,” Craftsman whispered.
“No you don’t!” Zack roared. “I need my
